I remember love
by putteiblabarsskogen
Summary: What if you made a wrong decision a few years back and you realized it earlier but didn't have the curage to make it right back then. Is there a chance to make it right this time? can you go back to that. Spashely of course, there is nothing else.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: this is my new story and I would love to get some feedback on it. I've the next two chapters written on paper, so I just need to write them down. **

**And to all of you that reads my other story. **_**A summer of soccer**_**, I will also update that soon I've the next chapter in that one half done.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you can relate to South of Nowhere.**

**I don't own the song in this chapter, and the songs that will be used in the upcoming chapters.**

**The song in this chapter is: **_**I remember love with Sarah dawn Finer **_

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**Chapter 1: I remember love**

_I can see it in your eyes _

_I can see it in your face _

_I could feel it when we touched _

_It used to mean so much _

_But now it's gone away _

Ashley was sitting in her dressing room just like she does every night before she walks out and on to the stage. Like every night she felt empty and that is something she had felt for the last five years everyday and every minute even every second since Spencer had told her that she had to chose between her and her music, and now we know what choice Ashley had made and for this five years she had regretted her decision.

Tonight was the night that she had made her decision to play a song that she never thought that she would play ever even if she just had written it. The song had taken about an hour to finish when she began to write it. And tonight was the night that she would tell the world what she had left five years ago and what she wanted back, it was more like she was going to tell Spencer that she wanted her back and she would fight for her.

_We were young and dreams were new _

_And every word we said was true _

_Any mountain we could climb _

_You made me feel alive _

_The first time in my life _

"This song goes out to the one true love I've ever had and I hope that you know who you are." And with that Ashley began to play. When she was playing all that she could think about was the one that had gotten away, but in the same time it was the one that she had been running from when she had to make a choice and they both was so young and still is.

_Yes, I remember love _

_So beautiful _

_Now I know my heart is breakable _

_'Cause I remember love _

_The true meaning of _

_I remember, I remember love _

The one that got away was the girl with the golden hair and the bluest eyes just like the ocean and when Ashley thought about those eyes all she could remember was who every time she looked into those eyes she felt like she was drowning and that was something good cause then she would always have her savior with her.

_Though the years have come and gone _

_Oh, and by now we've both moved on _

_I admit that there are nights _

_When I wonder why _

_Why we said goodbye _

Every night and every day those eyes haunted her, and she didn't know what she should do to escape that she didn't even know if she wanted to let those eyes go. It wasn't just the eyes that haunted her, the girls smile also was something that haunted her dreams and she saw it every time she closed her eyes.

_'Cause I remember love _

_So beautiful _

_Now I know my heart is breakable _

_'Cause I remember love _

_The true meaning of _

_I remember, I remember love _

For the first time in five years she felt like she had something to live for and all of that was because she had made a decision that's he would do anything and she meant anything to get the girl with the golden hair, the blue eyes and that amazing smile. Sure she never thought about to kill herself because that meant that she never would have a chance to see the one that slipped through her fingers. But without those eyes and the whole girl she felt lost.

_Oh, I've been losing faith each time I fall _

_But I still believe love conquers all _

All that she needed to do now was finding the girl and get to know her once again and after all these years tell her who she felt, that was perhaps the easy part of this whole thing. The hard part would be to make the one to understand that she meant it. That was the hard part and she knew that but she had to take her chance.

_'Cause I remember love _

_(So beautiful) _

_Now I know my heart is breakable _

_'Cause I remember love _

_The true meaning of _

_(I remember, I remember love) _

This was the song that she never thought that she would perform but she still had one song written and that one she knew for sure that she never would perform on stage or at least not before she had sung it for the girl that she had written it for. It had been written for an anniversary or if she ever asked the girl to marry her. Ashley knew that this song was a hit but she just had it in her heart and was hoping to use it for what it was meant to be used as.

_Yes, I remember, I remember love _

_Now I know my heart is breakable _

_When we see your face, as I hear your voice _

_I remember, I remember love_

"Thank you. You all have been an amazing crowed to night and I hope that you liked this new song. 'Cause I know that this is a song that meant a lot to me and I hope that you all will understand me. And to you that I wrote this one to, I just want you to know that I will never forget you and I still love you and that will never change. I love you, always and forever. So this was my new song I remember love. Yet again thank you and good night." And with that statement Ashley left the stage and who knows she maybe left her whole music career at that moment.

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**AN: If you would like to hear you can contact me and I can give you a link to it otherwise just search for it on youtube. The artist is from Sweden and most of the songs I'm going to use is from Swedish artist and some might even be in Swedish and if the songs are in Swedish I will try to translate as good as possible.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: this is the second chapter in this story, thanks to those who reviewed the first chapter and to you that has this story on alert and to you that read it. This chapter might not be anything like the first one. **

**I forgot to tell you that the first chapter was in Ashleys' POV but I think that you understood that and this chapter is from Spencers' POV. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own SoN but that you already knew.**

**The song in this chapter is: **_**Smiling in love**_** with Caracola**

**Please leave me a review it make me write more and it's inspiring to know what people thinks.**

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**Chapter 2: Smiling in love**

_I, I wonder why  
All my friends at school tell me I'm a fool  
When I'm waiting for you, like I always do  
I'm telling you  
Will you ever see that we're meant to be  
You and me for eternity  
Young and free, in my fantasy_

Oh ah, oh-baba-doa, yeah oh, yeah oh  
Smiling on love  
Baby, I love you  
Oh ah, oh-baba-doa, yeah oh, yeah oh  
Smiling in love, yes I do  
'Cause I'm loving you

I can't really remember a day in the past five years that I've truly been happy. Every time I think about when I was truly happy last time was before I made her chose between me and her music. And I still believe that I made the wrong thing when I told her she had to decide.

But back then I needed her to make that decision more or less. I can't blame anyone else but me about this, I and all of my friends even her friends told me that if I made her chose she would chose her music. My friends had even told me from the beginning that I was crazy for being with her but I didn't want to believe them so I made my choice to be with her, and in the end my friends were right. Everyone told me that she never would chose anyone over her music but in my heart I really believed that she would chose me.

Yes, I know that I should have believed them but I had chosen to follow my heart that told me to force forward a decision and she did decide but it wasn't what I thought it would be. I know that she tried to call, text me and send me emails that told me to contact her 'cause she wanted to talk to me but all I did was ignore those. I didn't want her to tell me that we still could be friends, that was something that I wouldn't managed to do it was all or nothing and she had chosen nothing, when she decide to chose her music. But somehow there is this huge problem, I still love her and I can't seem to forget about her.

This has led to I'm sitting here all alone in my room in my parents' home and I know that it's sad that someone that is 24 years is sitting in her room in her parents' house and waiting for her love, that she hasn't seen in five years and don't even know if she still thinks about me. It's just so pathetic but I can't leave this house. There is this big question; what if, she would come by this is the only place that she knows that she could find me. If I had my own place and she would come by here at my parents' house they wouldn't tell her where she could find me, they wouldn't want her to break me one more time. Maybe that my father would tell her but there is no way that my mother would tell her, she did accept us and I know that she can't stand to see me that broken again.

Tonight I'm going to me up with my friends I did promise them to go out with them and to go with us is my so called girlfriend but I don't know if she is that, it's nothing official but if someone asked if I was seeing someone I would have to say yes. This going out thing is nothing big, I didn't want to go but my friends forced me and they do that every once in awhile just so I would go out and see something else then my room.

My so called girlfriend isn't one of my favorite persons', we fight almost all the time and when we fight, can she get violent. I think that I should break things up with her but I don't know how I should do it. I know that it's supposed to be easy but it won't be that, which I know.

**Later the same night**

We have been out and we're on our way home and during this night Jen, my so called girlfriend has been a pain and that had led up to what I'm going to do when we get home, I need to break it off with her.

"Jen, we need to talk." I said and I didn't want to sound scared even thou I was kind of scared who knew how she would react, to this whole thing.

"Of course we do, babe." She said and she didn't know what I was about to do.

"You know that we kind of have been together and I know that it hasn't been official or anything like that but I think it's time…" I had no chance to say anything more before she interrupted me.

"I think so to, it's about time that we make this official." She said. This wasn't something that I had expected.

"Well that wasn't my thought exactly" I said.

"What do you mean, I don't understand babe. Could you please explain it to me" she said.

"What I thought was more in the line of breaking this off, before it gets to serious. 'Cause I can't be in a relation..." before I could finish I saw a fist coming against me and my face and at that moment I just felt pain. She had hit me in the face with her fist, when I fell I hit my head and after that everything went black. I don't know if anything else happened. I just broke someones' heart and I got physical hurt in the process.

**AN: this was the latest chapter and I'm sorry that it ends with a bit of a cliffhanger bur I think the next chapter will be up in a couple of days.**

**I know that the song might not be the best choice but there was one line in the song that kind of had what I was looking for. You can guess which line it was, and I'll tell you if you're right.**

**Just let me know what you think about this chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I'm so sorry for not updating this sooner but here it is and thanks or the reviews, and keep them coming and I'm sorry if the previous chapter was a bit confusing, but I hope that this will clear some things up.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own SoN. The song is; **_**don't cry for pain**_** with Ana Johnson.**

**Chapter 3: Don't cry for pain**

_I don't cry for pain  
Don't cry from fear - you know that  
I don't cry in the rain  
No, not a tear - you know that  
Before you leave, when you go  
I think you ought to know  
Don't cry for pain  
I only cry for love_

_**Asheleys' POV**_

Here is the thing I can feel when my girl is hurt, not just heartbroken but physical hurt and she is at this time but I don't know where I can find her or anything like that. And besides that she isn't my girl at the moment but she was and I know that she will be soon again if it's up to me. Now I just need to find her.

I don't cry for much and I definitely don't cry for any kind of pain but at this moment I cry and that is cause when I cry it's for love and my love is in pain, there for I cry, and I cry like a baby.

My babygirl wouldn't be in any pain if I just had made the right decision five years ago, and that is also why I'm crying.

I need to go and find my girl, I need to contact someone that I never thought that I would talk to ever again her mother I know where I kind reach her, cause I don't know if anyone has find her and helped her from what I'm feeling at the moment no one has found her yet.

I called the hospital that I know that her mother worked and they told me that she was on her way home and all I can do is ask for her cellphone number and I told the nurse that I needed to talk to her about her daughter and when I said daughter I got the number just like that. I tried to call her mother but there was no one that answer, I'm hoping that she is one her way home to my girl so she could find her and help her. I tried to call her mother again and no answer this time too so I decided that I should tell her something.

"Hello Mrs. Carlin this is Ashley Davies, don't erase this message until you heard it all" I thought it would be good to tell her that. "I just call 'cause I have a feeling that Spencer is in some sort of pain and hurt, I can feel it. I can't explain how just that I know just help her, she is at home." That was the message I felt her and of course my number so she could reach e if she wanted. All I could do now is waiting and waiting and hope that I would get a call that told me that she would be okay.

_**Paulas' POV**_

I got this strange voicemail on my phone from Ashley Davies I haven't talked to her in years and the truth is that I never thought that I would talk to her ever again. She said something about Spencer being in some kind of pain and at home. All I can do know is that I'm hurrying home and see if she is right I mean she must be pretty sure if she calls my phone.

When I got home I began to search for my little girl, I don't like the idea of her being hurt she isn't in the kitchen or the livingroom, so the next room I'm looking in is her room and there is where I find her. The truth is that I don't know how I should react to the sight in front of me. In front of me is my daughter laying on the floor blue and black and she seems unconscious that isn't good. I need to do something I should know what to do, I'm a doctor but the sight is just so shocking my bay has been beaten pretty badly. I need to get her to a hospital right now and call an ambulance. I can't believe that Ashley Davies knew this or what it was that she had told me on the voicemail. She just knew that something had happened to her and they haven't been in contact as far as I know since that day.

_**Normal POV**_

Spencer has been brought to the hospital. All that Paula can think about what happened and who would be so crazy to do something like that to someone that innocent and that wouldn't hurt a fly on the wall.

Spencer has been on the hospital for a couple of days and during these days she has been in a medical induced coma, so that she wouldn't be in that much pain, she had some broken ribs and unfortunely one of those ribs bad puncture one of her lungs. But today is the day that Spencer is about to wake up and they need to make a policereport about what happened. The only one that knows what happened is Spencer and they all hopes that's he will remember what happened. To visit her at the hospital ahs her best friend Madison been and her mother, father and brother, they've all been worried about what had happened. And at this time they also wondered why Jen hasn't been to the hospital to visit her girlfriend. Madison has been trying to get in contact with that girl but she doesn't answer her homephone or her cell, it's like she don't want to be found. Paula has been trying to get in contact with Ashley every day since she had gotten that voicemail from the young girl, that call had saved Spencers' life and she wanted to thank her for what she had done for the whole family but especially Spencer but the girl wouldn't pick up her phone and no one around the rockstar wanted to give her a message she had already tried that but nothing happened and leaving a voicemail about this situation didn't seem right but Paula was running out of options at this moment it seemed like leaving a voicemail was her best alternative at the moment.

"This I Paula Carlin, Spencers' mother and I know that you called me and told me about what you thought had happened to Spencer. And all I want is to talk to you as soon as you get this message. I don't want to leave a message about what happened. So would you please call me back as soon as possible? And thank you for calling about, well you know." When Paula had left Ashley her message she went back to Spencers' room. Spencer was beginning to move around in her bed a bit, this meant that she was about to wake up from her coma.

_**Spencers' POV**_

I was trying to move but it was just so hard and I when I moved I kind of heard this regular beeping, every two second or something like that, it was like a heartbeat or something like that. Where am I, why is everything so bright and white, I'm not dead right? I can't be I mean I hear this beeping sound.

I began to slowly be able to open my eyes and I saw my dad, mother and brother sitting in some chairs beside me, why are they sitting there shouldn't they be in their own rooms. This is just so strange. When I looked at my mother I saw that she had been crying and had some bags under her eyes that meant that she hadn't been sleeping very well for the last couple of days. I don't know why that is but I will find out soon enough. I saw that my mother noticed that I was awake and a small smile spread on her face, it was like she never thought that she would ever see me again. I tried to talk but I couldn't, then I heard her say.

"Spencer, honey I will get a doctor so that they can take the tube out. Try not to panic this is normal." Paula said and just as she said those words Spencer began to panic why can't I talk I need to tell them something. Paula left the room and was looking for a doctor and at the same time Madison came back she had been home during the night and morning to get change and some sleep, when she saw that Spencer was awake she began to cry, this had been some of the worst days of her life she felt some responsibility towards what had happened.

I still can't figure out why they all seemed so sad and now so happy, I mean all I remember is that I broke up with Jen and then a fist came flying against me and a feel and hit my head, but that don't exactly explain I feel in my ribs when I breath, well I will find out soon.

Paula came back with a doctor and he was looking at Spencers' chart and saw that everything seemed okay at the moment and that they could remove the tube but that was all he could do at the moment. When the tube was removed she tried to talk but everything that came out was whispers.

"Can I get some water please?" Spencer said.

"Sure, Spence. I don't want to pressure you nor anything but, do you know what happened?" Arthur asked and handed her the water. Just as Spencer was about to answer her father, her mothers' cellphone went off. Paula looked who it was that was calling her and she saw, who it was that called her.

"Sorry, I don't want to be rude or anything but I need to take this call. I'll be back soon." And with that she went out from the room.

"Dad, I remember some things about what happened. We were out at some club and as we left I went home and Jen was going with me. I wanted to talk to her." Spencer said and she took a new breath and continued. "I wanted to break it off with her, I felt like there was nothing between us and she has been kind of violent, nothing big. But somehow she had gotten a different idea; she thought that I wanted it to be official." There was also another reason why she wanted to break it off with Jen but that was something she wasn't quite ready to tell anyone at the moment.

"Oh Spencer we didn't know that, we have been trying to reach Jen for the last couple of days. I'm sure that she would've been here if we had reached her." Her father said.

"Dad, I haven't finished my story yet, I remember some other things too, but before I tell you that I would like the police to come. I need to make a report, assault." When Spencer said that everyone in the room just gasp.

When Spencer continued her story the police were there and took her statement. "After I told her that I wanted to break it off, she kind of got mad at me or something. The last things that I remember are that she hit me in the face and I fell down and hit my head at something."

"Okay, do you know if it was a fist or an open palm the she hit you with? That would really help us out." One of the policemen said.

"Well as far as I remember it was a fist. Then I would really want to know what happened to me, I mean this pain in my ribs when I breathe can't be from my head injured, right?" Spencer said.

"I guess that you're right Spence, you kind of took one hell of a beating. We're kind of happy that your mother found you when she did. Otherwise you might not be here." Madison said.

Oh was it that bad I mean it must have been pretty bad cause I'm at the hospital but I didn't think it was that bad, Spencer thought but she didn't say anything.

**At the same time with Paula**

"Hello Ashley. I'm glad that you called me back."

"Well you left me a message and I kind of wanted to know what happened to Spencer. 'Cause that is why you called right. This isn't some social call, am I right." Ashley said.

"Right to the point, I kind of like it. Well all I wanted was thanking you calling me and tell me that you thought that Spencer was in pain."

"That was nothing I know that we haven't seen or talked to each other in five years. And the truth is that it hurts pretty badly."

"I know that you're not alone to feel like that, even if she never would admit it she has missed you more than she thinks."

"How can you know that? I know that you never thought that I was good enough for her but I still hope that I one day could have a chance with her and showing her that I've changed."

"I call it a mothers' intuition. And I'm also sorry about that I never a chance and I kind of regret it now, because I know that you would treat her better than her current girlfriend does."

"So she has a girlfriend." Ashley said a bit disappointed

"Well she had one before all of this happened, we haven't been able to reach her, it's like she has gone MIA. But that wasn't the reason I called you. The reason was that you were right. Spencer was in pain, when I got home I found her in her room laying on the floor and she was unconscious. She had been beaten pretty badly."

"Is she okay? I just want to know."

"She is conscious at the moment, she just woke up and we are all here. It would be pretty nice if you would come and visit. I think that she would appreciate if you came even if she won't admit to it."

"I will be there as soon as I can."

At that moment Paula heard something that she didn't want to hear.

"WE NEED A CRASH CART IN ROOM 459"

"Mrs. Carlin what was that" Ashley asked. She didn't get an answer from her, she tried again nothing. "PAULA"

"SPENCER" was the response Ashley got and at that moment Ashley felt something die slowly inside of her and she knew what she had heard in the background.

**AN: so please review and I hope that the next chapter will be up later today or tomorrow, just need to do some editing.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I'm sorry that I haven't updated earlier, I kind of wanted the draft for the next chapter done before posting this one, and in the middle of writing that chapter I had a minor block so now is that chapter done or at least the draft. **

**Thanks for the reviews and leave me some more.**

**Disclaimer: don't own anything related to SoN. The song I used in this chapter is Hold on be strong by Maria Haukaas Storeng.**

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**Chapter 4: Hold on be strong**

_But there's always someone out there who'll be there for you  
there is always someone out there who'll care for you  
there's always someone out there who'll be true, true, true  
hold on, hold on, be strong_

"We need a crash cart in here" was the last thing Paula remembered that she heard after that everything was in a daze. She didn't think about that she was on the phone with Ashley. Paula woke up from her daze when she heard that someone was yelling her name into her ear.

"Paula what is wrong with Spencer?"Ashley asked.

"Huh" was all that Paula could say, she didn't think about that she was on the phone with her daughters' ex-girlfriend that no one had, had any contact with for the last five years. When Paula finally realized that she was on the phone with Ashley all she could say was.

"Did you say something?"

"Yes, I was wondering what is wrong with Spencer, you were about to tell me and then you just screamed Spencers' name."

"Shit" was all that she could say and she just began to run towards Spencers' room. Paula wasn't sure if she should tell Ashley about the crash cart that the needed in Spencers' room.

"Okay, but what really happened to Spencer? Why is she at the hospital?" Ashley asked.

"Well, when I got home after you left me that voicemail I found her and she had been beaten pretty badly. When we got to the hospital they found out that she had a few broken ribs and a punctured lung." Paula said and she began to cry.

"I'm sorry to hear that but she is going to be okay. I know that, I know that she is a strong girl. She has to be okay."

"I know, but there is more. I haven't told you everything."

"Oh I didn't know that. I would love for you to tell me more."

"Of course I will tell you but it might take some time."

"I understand that I might take you sometime but you just take your time. I fully understand that. I mean a lot has happened the last few days." Ashley said, this girl that Paula was talking to wasn't the same girl that she had known before. This version of Ashley was so much more mature and understanding.

"To begin with, no one knows that you called me and left that voice mail."

"Okay?"

"I don't mean not to tell them but I don't know how I should tell them."

"it's not a problem I do understand you and all but I personally would like it very much if you could tell them cause I would love to come and visit Spencer if she needs stay a longer time at the hospital. Just as a friend nothing more." Ashley said, but thought to herself to begin with I just miss her so much.

"I will try to tell them. I am really sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. But I really need to know how Spencer is doing, I know that something must be wrong with her 'cause at the moment my heart is aching and I do have some trouble breathing. And to me that only means one thing and that is that Spencer is hurting."

"What?! Just relax, I'm on my way to Spencers' room and then we will know how she is."

Paula was almost at Spencers' room when she saw that her whole family was outside Spencers' room and waiting for something, she looked into the room and saw that there were some nurses and doctors working on her daughter.

"Arthur what is happened why isn't you in her room?"

"They, they told us to leave the room" Arthur said and he had tears in his eyes.

"What do you mean leave?"

"she, she, she crashed" he said and when he finally had said it out loud he began to cry, he had held in his tears for so long and now he couldn't hold them back.

Ashley had heard all of this over the phone; she was wondering what had happened all that she heard was that someone had crashed and crying, all she knew was that this wasn't good.

"Jen is that you?" before she had a chance to response to that the voice continued "And I will hunt you down before you have a chance to do anything to Spencer ever again, just stay away from her." She didn't have a chance to replay that before the line was disconnected.

Jen who is that and why is she as good as dead? Ashley wondered.

"Madison what did you mean with what you just said" Paula managed to get out between her sobs.

"Well it's her fault that Spencer is here".

"What!? I have a hard time to believe that it's Ashleys' fault that Spencer is here at the hospital."

"Not Ashleys', its Jens' fault. I mean that we haven't talked to her in like five years."

"That's not true, she called me a couple of days ago and she told me to find Spencer and that she was in some sort of pain."

"What!? Everybody said.

"And she was the one I was on the phone with and she was the one you were yelling at."

On the other side of the Atlantic sea Ashley sat and looked at nothing all she could think about was Spencer and what Madison said to her on the phone, who is this Jen and what has she to do with Spencer being at the hospital. At the moment her heart felt better now she only felt the pain that's he always did, from her heartbreaking five years ago and it was easier breathing.

"Ms. Davies they want you back on the stage for the encore." A boy said.

"I can't, tell them anything, food poisoning or come u with something. And after that I would like for you to tell them that I'm cancelling the rest of my tour."

"Okay, to the first thing but I don't see why you need to cancelling your whole tour."

"I've just made a decision that I should have done five years ago. I'm going home. I'm just hoping that I'm not too late."

"May I ask what decision?"

"Sure Ben. I left the best thing that ever happened to me. But I was to young to realize that and I know have."

"I see, let me guess it has something to do with that new song of yours."

"Yes. And I want to give you one advice, always remember love."

"That is great, so I'm guessing that there is a girl that would love to see you again and I hope that she understands and forgive you."

"Me to, me to and if she takes me back, I will rephrase _when_ she takes me back I'm going to have one last concert and let the world know that I'm the luckiest girl ever to walk on this planet." And with that Ashley just left the arena and she took a cab to the airport. All she knew was that she wanted, was to be back home, and by Spencers' side, and when she would be there she knew that she finally would have found her home.

_Babe, just hold on and be strong for me. If you do that I promise you that I'll be by your side in no time. And this time I promise that won't leave ever again. I've learned from my mistakes I will never make the same mistake twice in my life._

**Back at the hospital**

"She did what?!" Glen said.

"She tried to call me, I don't know how many times but the last call she made she left a voicemail and told me that I needed to find Spencer and her numbers."

"But how did she know, I mean she is not even on the same continent, she is in England on her Europe tour."

"She said that she didn't know how she knew. All that she said was that she felt that Spencer was in pain." Paula said.

"I don't get this, it's just so, I can't even put words on it" Madison said

"That is not all."

"How can that not be all, what you just told us was just so strange." Glen said.

"When I talked to her earlier today. Just before someone took the phone from me, she told me that she had some trouble breathing and that she felt some kind of pain in her heart at the same time as Spencer crashed and the doctors were working on her." Paula said and she began to cry this whole day had just been too much for her.

"I know what this is" Arthur said. "And I'm glad that I was right all this time, and I also think that Ashley knows what this is, she just doesn't know what words to use. Or at least I think that she realized today, that is why she called again."

"What it is?" Madison asked.

"True love." That was the only thing that Arthur said before he fell asleep in a chair outside of Spencers' room. No one wanted to go inside of her room just yet, they were all afraid of what they might see.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: This is my next chapter and I hope that you all like this chapter. And thanks for the reviews and a thank you to all of you that read this story.**

**I know that I said that I would use song from Swedish artist but I don't use one in this chapter and it wasn't in the previous chapter either, but this songs was just so great to use and I manage to get the point that I was looking for so I hope that you all understand what I mean.**

**In chapter two I said that I used the song for a couple of lines that I wanted to reflect on at that moment but I haven't told what lines that was, it was the one in the beginning of the song; **_**All my friends at school tell me I'm a fool**_** this was the main line I was thinking of.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own SoN as always. The song this time is **_**whatever it takes **_**by Lifehouse.**

**-------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter 5: Whatever it takes**

_I'll do whatever it takes  
To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
And believe that I can change  
I'll keep us together whatever it takes_

So I'm sitting on the plane back to LA, I've just made one of the biggest decisions I've ever made and I hope that it is the right one. At the moment it feels like it was the right thing to do and I hope that it will feel the same when I land. All I can tell you now is that it feels like I'm on my way home and that I haven't been home in the last five years, the truth is that the last time I felt like I had a home was moments before I made the stupidest mistake I've ever done and I have done a lot of those in my young life. I swear from this moment on I will do whatever it takes to make her understand that I'm here to stay and that I won't go anywhere. I just wish that I know this so much earlier, if I had known this earlier I would have never lost five years with the girl of my dreams.

"_Ms Davies, please fasten your seat belt we're landing at LAX, in about 15 minutes. So welcome back home. As far as we know there will be no problem for you to leave no one knows that you're on your way home." _The pilot said.

As soon as we landed I was on my way to a hotel I wanted to be at a hotel near the hospital, I'll be staying there for the moment I just don't want to live in the loft that I own with my sister, she knows that I'm back home she is the only one that knows but she don't know the real reason for why I'm back home and I don't know if I'll be able to tell her before I've talked to Paula, she is the only one that I've been in contact with of the Carlins but they will soon meet me again. I can't wait to see Spencer again. I did try to call Paula and let her know that I was on my way back home and that I wanted to visit Spencer but I haven't had a chance to get to talk to her. I just want to know what hospital Spencer is at, but I think I can guess what hospital she is at. Truth be told that is just one of the reasons I want to talk to Paula, the other big one is that I want to know who Jen is and why Madison of all people was threatening her, as far as I can remember Madison has always been very protective of Spencer, I kind of learned that first handed when we dated. I do believe that she would have told me the same thing if she knew that she was talking to me, I smile to myself.

I left the hotel about an hour later and I had some paparazzis after me, I still don't know how they knew that I was back in the states, I mean I have been back for about three hours. I just hope that they don't follow me to the hospital, but I think that could lead to some interesting headlines tomorrow.

**At the hospital**

The Carlins and some of Spencers' close friends were taking turns sitting by her side, but there was some rules that had been bend for her friends, thanks to Paula otherwise it would have been three persons that would have been sitting with Spencer; Paula, Arthur and Glen and maybe Madison. Ever since the doctors managed to get Spencer heart started again yesterday she had been in a coma and they don't know when or if she ever will wake up.

"I'm just gonna try to get a hold of Ashley one more time. I think that she deserves to know about this, even if she is on the other side of the Atlantic. I'm just going outside so I don't disturb anyone." Paula said.

"Of course, you should do that I'm staying here by her side and I won't leave until someone else comes to stay with her, Paula." Madison said, she still had some issues with Ashley but at the moment those wasn't as big as the ones she had with Jen that bitch.

Paula walked out from the hospitalroom and she began to dial the number to Ashleys' cell, as the phone began to ring on the other end, Paula looked up and saw some girl/woman trying to get some kind of information from one of the nurses that was at the station, she just smiled for herself and thought _why don't the ever learn the will never get any of the information that they want._ This happens many times every day. When the signals went through this girls' phone also began to ring but Paula didn't think more about that. _If she wants the information I think that she wants she would need to tell the nurse that she is a sister, girlfriend or something like that, related to the person and be able to show that._ And she was wondering why Ashley didn't answer her phone she had done it all the other times or at least returned her calls in a couple of hours but not this time.

At the same time at the nurse station was Ashley trying to get the nurse to tell her what room Spencer was staying in, the promise she had made to herself and was going to make to Spencer as soon as she had a chance to talk to her was that she would do whatever it takes and this was a promise she was planning on keeping and absolutely not be breaking anytime.

"Look nurse Stevens, need you to tell me what room Spencer Carlin is in, and I have tried to talk to you nicely but that don't seem to work."

"Well Ms ---"

"Davies."

"Right Ms Davies as I told you before, I can't revel that kind of information to anyone that isn't related to the patient."

"Well then why don't you let me talk to a doctor or your boss. I don't think they would like to hear that one of their employers didn't tell the patients' fiancée where to find her girl." When Ashley said this, the nurse saw that Dr Carlin was out from her daughters' room and was trying to call someone and at that moment the nurse decided that she could prove that this Ms Davies wasn't in anyway related to Spencer Carlin.

"Okay, Ms Davies why don't we try to get all of this sorted out? Then this will be no more problems, right? And maybe we could get someone to explain this to you or come firm that you indeed is Ms Carlins' fiancée."

"That sounds great, let's just solve this so that I can see my girl."

"No, problem Ms Davies. Dr Carlin, I know that you don't work at the moment but I kind of need your help here. This girl won't understand our policy so you might want to explain."

"Sure, nurse Stevens." Paula said. She walked over and was going to explain this to the girl and she looked at the girl, she did look familiar but she couldn't place her.

"You see Dr Carlin, this young girl claims that she is engaged to your daughter but as far as I know she isn't engaged?" Ashley never had a chance to say hello to Paula and tell her who she was, cause she saw that Paula didn't recognize her, she had changed a bit but not that much or at least that was what she thought.

"That is right , Stevens."

"Well, there you have it Ms, Davies." When Paula heard the name she realized why she had recognized the girl it was Ashley, how I couldn't've seen that before it might be because I haven't slept that much in the last days.

"I'm so sorry Ashley that I didn't realize that it was you that. Why haven't you answered any of my calls or called back or called us?"

"To begin with I have another number her in the states and I forgot to give you that one and I'm sorry about that, that was my mistake but I'll give it to you now. Better late than never, right? Ashley said and began to laugh a bit and so did Paula, it was the first time in a couple of days that she actually had laughed and I felt good. "Second of all I just landed about four hours ago, but I do realize now that I probably should have called, if I had known it would have been this hard to get to see Spencer."

"Okay, I understand and I heard from Glen that there was something about a Europe-tour."

"Yeah, there _was_ a tour. I kind of left and without telling anyone, well I told my assistant that I would go back home and told him to tell everyone else. Don't say anything I know that it was irresponsible but if I didn't do t that way I would still be in Europe and I just want to be here."

"I do understand that and I agree with you that it wasn't the smartest way to leave a tour. I just hope that you'll explain it to everyone in time."

"I'm glad that you believe that and can wait for me to explain but I didn't tell you the whole story."

"What do you mean? I mean I think that it was a big thing what you did. I don't know if I would do the same for anyone that I haven't been in contact with for the last five years."

"I can understand your point there. What I left put was that I kind of told Ben, my assistant that I'm just going to have one more concert left to do. And that concert wills some kind of a good bye to my fans and saying hello to my new life. I'm not even sure that I will have that concert 'cause it will only happen when I'm happy again and who knows when that is going to happen."

"I'm sorry but I don't really understand. I hope that you can explain it a bit more to me."

"What I meant was that the concert is only going to happen when I have Spencer by my side again. I know that you think that might not happen but for me this isn't a question about _if _it's a question about _when_ it will happen, cause I'm going to do whatever it takes."

"I can see that determination in your eyes and I hope for your sake that Spencer also will see it."

"Thank you. And the truth is that I don't think I have ever been more sure of anything in my whole life, I just wish that I would have and this decision so much earlier but if I did I'm not sure if I would have understood what this really means to me."

"Wow, that was a great speech and I can truly see that you have grown up a lot. And now for the big question, would you like to see her?"

"You don't have to ask twice. But before I see her I would like to talk to Mr. Carlin and who else is here and I need to apologize too."

"I think that could be arranged, but before you see Spencer I need to tell you something. As you might remember, you heard something about a crash cart being needed."

"I kind of remember something like that."

"Well, it was for Spencer and they managed to get her started, I believe that, that was the pain you felt when it happened." Paula said and tears were begun to show in her eyes. "And that is not all, she hasn't woken up yet, she is in a coma. They don't know if she ever will wake up."

"I'm so sorry, I know that this was very hard for you to tell me but I'm happy that you could tell me. But I promise you that I'll be by her side as long as you all let me." Ashley said and she began to cry, this wasn't what was supposed to happen, she was just going in to see Spencer and tell her everything and then show her in so many different ways that all she said was true.

"It's okay, but we should just go so that you can see her and talk to the others."

They left the nurses' station and began to walk to Spencers' room and when they were outside the room Ashley began to say something.

"Mrs. Carlin before I go in to see her could you just let everyone know that I would like to talk to them before I see Spencer, that would mean so much to me and I think that they would think so too."

"Of course Ashley, but from here on you call me Paula, I think you deserve that and I do think that you already have done that." Paula said with a smile on her lips.

"Thank you so much, Mrs. C---, sorry Paula." Paula walked in to Spencers' room she was greeted by her husband with a small kiss and she hugged both Glen and Madison.

"There is someone outside this room that would like to talk to you all, before she comes in to see Spencer. And I would really appreciate if you don't scream at her. All I can tell you right now is that she is sorry and realized all of her mistakes and want to make up for them."

This led to that the small group believing that the person that the where going to see was Jen. All you can say when they saw who it was was surprise. They saw a short brunette; at first they didn't see the face of this girl. And when she turned around, they saw someone that they never thought that they would see ever again. The first reaction came from Madison; all that she did was going to Ashley and looked her straight in the eyes. What happened next was something she didn't expect at all to happen she got a hug from Madison, the truth was that Ashley expected to be slapped or something like that. I can assure that that would have happened if she didn't know that it was Ashley that had saved Spencers' life.

"Okay, that was nice. But I do think that no one wants me to be here or even see me. And I would really appreciate that I can give this little speech without anyone interrupt me" Ashley said and looked at Glen; she remembered that the kind had little to no patients. "this is really hard for me to do. To begin with I'm sorry I know that I might be too late but however I do say that I'm sorry. I also know that you guys might not be the ones I need to apologies to but I fell that I owe you all apologies I've already apologized to Paula. I do feel guilty for everything that have happened." After that Ashley took a breather. "The second part of this speech is that I left my tour and I won't go back to it and I left in the middle of a concert, not really in the middle I just had some encores left."

"You did what?! I mean I never thought it would be a day that Ashley Davies walked out from a concert, at least not her own." Madison said, the truth was that she was the only one that could say anything at this moment, both Glen and Arthur was just so surprised.

"Left the tour, walked away from a concert, that no biggie, you see I just realized where I should be right now. And I don't feel like telling this story again, so Paula can fill you guys in on that if you want to know more."

"Wow, I didn't think you or anyone would do something like that." Arthur said, but he knew deep down that if anyone would do such a thing I would be Ashley Davies.

"I know I kind of surprised myself with that one. But I think that I deep down in my heart knew that this was something that I should do and should have done five years ago. And now I'm here to make everything right. And if you don't mind I would really like to go see Spencer."

"Sure thing, you can send Paula out so you get some time alone with Spencer. I know that she will understand." Arthur said.

"Thank you again, all of you. I know that this is hard for all of you, I mean this is hard for me too." And with those words Ashley was walking in to Spencer room to see her for the first time in five years. Paula saw that Ashley walked in to the room and before Ashley could say anything she stood up from the chair that was placed next to Spencer and gave Ashley a hug before leaving the room giving the younger woman some time alone with Spencer.

"Spencer, I'm so sorry for everything. All I can do right now is hoping that you one day will forgive me and all I wanted to say is that I do whatever it takes to make that happen. Whatever it takes, just so you know."

**AN: I know that I kind of repeated myself in this chapter or at least a think so, so that is something that you don't have to tell me, all I can say is that it will happen again.**

**so this was this and I will have the next chapter up soon, it's already written and I have it on the computer but I want to have the draft for chapter 7 ready first, and that chapter is soon ready, I just have a bit trouble finding a song to that chapter. All I can tell at this moment is that it's from Spencer point of view, mainly. **

**Please leave me a review and an update might come sooner than you think ;-)**

**And I would like some suggestions on songs I that I can use, and if I'll use it I will let you know and give you credit for it.**

_**Putteiblabarsskogen**_


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: okay so this is the next chapter and I would really like to know what you all think. **

**So just read this chapter and leave me a review and who knows when the next chapter will be up, it might be tomorrow, the more reviews the easier it is to write.**

**An as in the previous chapter I said that I kind of repeated myself and I think that I might be something like this in this chapter to, but I personally think that it sometimes is a bit necessary for this story to carry on and to move forward. And I promise that you soon will get a chapter from Spencer but she won't wake up just yet but we will see what's going on in her head.**

**Disclaimer: don't own SoN but that you already knew, right. Don't own the song **_**the reason**_** with Hoobastank.**

**------------**

**Chapter 6: The reason**

_I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know_

Ashley had spent most of her time at the hospital ever since she had been back in LA. Spencer hadn't waked up from her coma yet and it had already been a week and even if Ashley didn't want to think like this, she had thoughts about what would happen if Spencer never woke up.

Every day that she spent on that hospital was just harder and harder on her and everybody knew that she was back in town and there had been a lot of speculations about why Ashley Davies was spending most of her time at hospital but so far there had no idea. Among the speculations that floated around were that she was sick, that her sister was going through something and the one that was the truth according to the press was that she was doing some kind of rehab, that was as far from the truth as possible. There had also been a story about that Ashley was doing some kind of community service. All that Ashley knew that there soon will be some paparazzis in this hospital, she was just waiting on the inside source to come forward and tell someone why Ashley really was at the hospital.__

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you

"Spencer I know that you can hear me and I know that I've been saying this to you a lot during the last week and I'll keep saying it. I will never let you go ever again and I will never leave your side until you say that I should leave your side, I might not leave your side even if you say so. I will never lie to you ever again. I'm sorry but I lied to you just a minute ago, when I said I would never leave your side, I will do that but only when the visiting hours are over but I will be back as soon as I can. That is something that I promise you. I will always be by your side and if I'm not there in a physical way I will be there mentally. "Ashley said. Every time Ashley was talking to the blonde she felt like the blonde would wake up at any minute from her coma. Ashley felt like Spencer was the reason that she had changed for the better. That was because she felt like she was home for the first time in five years. Ashley felt like she was one step closer to be whole again, Spencer was her reason for starting over all over again and for the better.__

I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with every day  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one who catches all your tears  
That's why I need you to hear

_  
_"I know that I hurt you pretty badly when I made that stupid decision. All I can say is that I've had to live with that for that last years and it had never been easy for me and I guess that it have been hard for you too." Ashley said and tears began to roll down her cheeks. "you see all the doctors here thinks that I' crazy for sitting here with you and talking to you. Not your mother, actually she has been kind of nice to me ever since I've been back. You see apparently I'm not supposed to be in here with you, but somehow your mother managed to pull some strings so I can sit here and talk to you. I think that she gave her one of those looks, you know the ones I used to get every time I was visiting you in the beginning of our relationship." Ashley said and she began to laugh, but it didn't seem right to laugh when she couldn't hear Spencer laugh with her.

Ashley felt like it was just a moment away for Spencer to open up her eyes and that she finally would see those beautiful blue eyes one more time and hopefully not for the last time.

_  
I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you_

"I just wanted you know Spencer that you are my reason for waking up every day and all I live for is that my time with you never would some to an end. You see Spencer I have made some stupid decisions, really, really stupid decisions in my short life but the stupidest mistake I've ever made was the day I chose my music over you and that is something I've known from the moment I made that decision but somehow it took me this long time to listen to my heart instead of my head. You see my heart has latterly been screaming at me for the last five years. And I hope that you will start over with me when you wake up again." This was the last thing Ashley could say before a nurse came in to the room and told her that she needed to leave because visiting hours were over. Yet again Ashley was forced to leave Spencer because of those stupid visiting hours. _God I really hate those hours, Ashley thought, but I'll be back tomorrow I promise._ Ashley was alone about one third of the time with Spencer and during this time she always made some short speeches to Spencer just too tell her how she really felt. But there were still three little words that she had yet to say.__

I'm not a perfect person  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know

As Ashley left the hospital she was stalked by the paparazzis and they somehow never left her alone, but for the time being she was not stalk inside of the hospital. Somehow those paparazzis never gave up, they wanted to know why Ashley was staying at the hospital for the whole day every day but she didn't want to tell them the reason, every time they asked she said no comments or that it was personal. All that she knew was that in the near future someone will know the answer and after that they would sneak in to the hospital with a camera and publish some photos of her and possible Spencer to and the world will have their answer.

_I know that I need to talk to the Carlins and let them know what might happen and I hope that they still will allow me to be at the hospital after that. I don't know if I'll be able to live otherwise. I mean they have been through so much the last week and I don't want to make it worse, but it will get worse before it get better. Maybe I just should stop visiting Spencer but that I something I can't do because if I do that I will be breaking a promise that I made to myself but also a promise I made to Spencer and that is something that I don't want to do ever again, Ashley thought._

Ashley had made it home and was just laying at the couch and had the TV on in the background, it was just on so that it wouldn't be so quiet, and it was at that moment she heard something that she reacted on.

"_To nights breaking news, we have the answers to the questions that everyone are asking them self at the moment. What is Ashley Davies doing at the hospital, why is she spending her days at a hospital and with whom is she there. So just stay put and we will tell you soon enough." _This statement caught Ashleys' eyes, this was it, she needed to call the Carlins right know and tell them what is happening all she hoped for was that the show was nice enough to not let the world know what Spencers' name was.__

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you

As Ashley was on the phone with Arthur, Paula was working otherwise she would be talking to the both of them, Paula worked when it wasn't visiting hours so that Spencer wouldn't be all alone at the hospital.

"I'm sorry that I call so late but there are some reports that they know about why I'm at the hospital but I don't really know what they know. I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay Ashley. I mean you didn't tell them or anything like that, so there for it's not your fault."

"I know that it will be airing soon and as soon as I know anything more I will call you back."

"That is great and I'm glad that you called to let us know."  
"And that is not all I think that they have Spencers' name but I don't know if the will use it. At the moment I hope that they don't. I don't care that they know why I'm there but I don't want to expose all of you." At this moment Ashley looked over at the TV and saw that there was going to air the part about her right know. "They are showing it knows and when it's over I tell you what they said."

"_Okay so here is it, the answer to why Ashley Davies is spending all of her time at a local hospital. All we can tell you is that it's nothing to do with her sister or that she is sick or that she is having some kind of rehab program. And according to our inside source she is visiting some girl and she has been talking to this girl, and apparently they're pretty friendly. This girl, Spencer, is as far as we know a friend or maybe she is more to the Ashley Davies, our inside source has also told us that when she first came to the hospital told some nurse that she was engaged to this girl. This is something that yet has to be confirmed from either Ashley herself or this girls family."_

Ashley filled in Arthur about what they have said and she explained it all and at this moment there were no photos, audio or video of this but that will change soon enough.

"I'm sorry Arthur that this is happening. And if you want to I can make a short statement tomorrow and explain some of these things. And if you guys don't want me to spend as much time at the hospital I totally understand that."

"Don't worry about that of course we want you to visit as much as you want to, I know that it helps Spencer getting better."

"Thank you so much and if you don't mind I will make a statement tomorrow and answer some of the questions."

"That would be nice."

"Sure thing, I'll do it tomorrow."__

I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you

"Just so you know Spencer you are my reason," Ashley said to know in particular. She just wanted to say it out load and to the whole world to know that.

**AN: this was this so I think that next chapter will be what happens in spencers' head and then she might wake up, maybe not in that chapter but the one after that or if we go and visit Jen to see how she is feeling and where she is. I'm working on the next chapter on my other SoN story and that chapter will hopefully be up later tonight. If there isn't any good on TV.**

**Just a little reminder, use the review button below and leave me a review or you can otherwise PM me with your thoughts. So take care till the next time.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Okay so this is the next chapter of this story obvious and I hope that you all like this chapter too.**

**Just so you know this chapter is from Spencers' POV, I might just say so and it won't be the last chapter from her POV.**

**So just read this and leave a review, it would be really appreciated and it will definitively help with posting more chapters. If I get some I can promise that the next chapter will be up in 24 hours. I have it already typed and I have the draft for chapter 9 ready and I'm working in chapter 10.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own SoN. The song I used this time is Another day by, Lene Marlin, she is from Norway. **

**Oaky that was all for now.**

**Chapter 7: Another day**

_  
Another day goes by, will never know just wonder why  
You made me feel good, made me smile  
I see it now, and I, can say it's gone  
That would be a lie  
Cannot control this, this thing called love  
_

I can hear voices talk to me but somehow I'm not able to respond to the people that are talking to me. I know that I recognize some of the voices, I hear mum and dad and my brother and my best friend and then there is this voice that I know that I know but I can't place it, in my heart it feels like its Ashleys' voice but I know that can't be true. I know that we haven't been in contact for five years sp why would she of all people be here, it must be my imagination, that's the only reason I can think of. There is one voice that I haven't heard and that is my so called girlfriends' just so you know she is the reason that I' here, wonder what happened to her. But I don't want to call her girlfriend I mean I never thought of us like that but I think that she might have seen us like that, so according to me Jen is more like an ex and I hope that she knows that.

Now let's get back to the voice that I think is Ashleys', that voice always says that she is sorry and that she never will leave y side but in the next breathe says that she must leave but that she'll be back as soon as she can and the voice is back the next the day. And there is so many different promises that the voice makes I can't even say name one of all of these promises. She says a lot of things, one thing that I can clearly remember is that she, cause I know it's a she is that I'm her reason but unfortunately don't I know what she means cause that is something that she haven't said.

Hang on a minute how come that there is this bright white light just in front of me, I have seen that light a lot lately, I can't place it and every time I'm getting near it I'm taken back but there was this one time that I almost was there and then I was brought back to this more like dark place but the last week has been better and better but it's not the place I want to be at. Can you look too? I think I'm seeing someone closer to the light I just need to look who that is and when I know I'll come back, okay? Why does this feel like I'm going to die, I can't die! I'm too young and I have so much to live for, like seeing Ash again and tell her that I love her and that I have never forgotten her.

"Clay? Is that you?" I said and looked at a boy/man that looked like my dead brother.

"Yes Spencer it's me."

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to guide you; I thought that we have had this conversation before."

"I know but it's just as strange every time I get here."

"Okay, so let's go through this one more time, just so everything is clear for you. I'm here to guide so that you either wake up or take the step to the other side with me."

"Great so let's get this party started. I don't want to be here anymore."

"Okay, but today we're going to have a visitor with us so that you can get even more guidance."

"Fine, who is it?"  
"Rafie."

"Do I know a Rafie?"

"Think Spence, just think. This is one of the reasons why you can't cross over or wake up."

"That I don't know who Rafie is?"

"Not just that, nut you need to feel more, what I mean is that you think too much and analyses everything to much just go with the flow."  
"That's not you Clay that is more like Ash." I said.

"Whatever, let's just get this going. Oh here is Rafie."

"Ah". I said when I saw the man, why am I so stupid. Rafie is Ashleys' dad.

"So I didn't think I would ever see you Spencer, I thought that you would have woken up by know" Rafie said.

"What do you mean?" I asked and I was a bit surprised that he said that but then again this is just some weird dream I'm having yet again.

"Here is the deal it's pretty easy. I think so." He said "I know what I would do."

"So what's the deal" I asked I was just losing a bit of temper, this isn't why I'm here I want to wake up now.

"Fine he'll tell you" Raife said and pointed to Clay.

"Okay, Spencer it's like it's every time you are here, listen to your head or to your heart. When you do that you'll wake up."

"But I do that, I mean, the first time I followed my head and that was not good so after that I have followed my heart but I still haven't woken up. So just maybe, just maybe this isn't just my problem. Maybe there is someone on the other side that is a wake that must say something so that I know that I have something to live for." I wasn't that happy, I was pretty mad at them. They made it sound like it was my fault that I wasn't a wake yet.

"Maybe you're right but just maybe there is something that you haven't really told yourself, that you need to say." Clay said. Why must he always be so smart, it really sucks, you know?

"Tell me more? I more or less demanded.

"Can't do that" both of them said.

"Just so you know, this really stinks and you stink too." I said, I mean I want to know who wouldn't and I know that they know.

The three of them continued their conversation back and forth and the truth is that they didn't get any further Spencer wanted to know what they meant and they couldn't tell her.

"Just so you know this is just so boring, and you guys are boring" I said "The truth is that I thought this would be fun, I mean you were so cool when you were alive."

"Spencer, just stop complaining. Have you ever thought that that could be the reason?"

"My complaining?"

"Yes" Clay said and sighed.

"Okay in have done some thinking and I know what I want to do." I said and I was happy with my decision.

"And that is" both asked me.

"I want to follow my heart."

"Great Spence, but you always says that and yet again you come back here."

"I know but know I know why and if this is the reason then I won't come back."

"Okay and that is?"

"I love Ashley and I need to tell her."

"Was that hard" Rafie asked me.

"Not really." And with that I kind of left both Clay and Rafie and it was good feeling. Both Clay and Raife looked at each other like they were happy and I seemed almost like they knew that this was something that I should have realized much sooner.

This something that has been going on ever since I've been in this coma that is something I know. But today was the first time that I admitted to myself out load and to other people, with other people I mean people that are dead. I know that all of this sounds a bit crazy and if didn't happen to me I wouldn't believe it all. And one more time I'm back at my bed at the hospital and I still can't talk to anyone or see them but this time I know that I'll be back soon. It's just one more thing I need to do.

And I know this feeling that I'm feeling is a something that I can't control and I don't think I want to control it either. But at the same time I want to be able to control it. And this feeling is something that I think that they call love, and this was just another day in my life that I won't get back.

**AN: so now you have read this chapter and I hope it was good. Please leave a review. I'll be so happy and when I'm happy I have inspiration and inspiration equals updates and it might give e inspiration to write updates to my other stories to.**

_**Johanna**_


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I know that this chapter is very, very short but I couldn't write it any longer, which I personally think is too bad. This chapter isn't going in to deep in how Jen is feeling, just a little scratch on the surface maybe a few chapters forward we might get to know more about all of this. Who knows what happens when Jens' path and crosses Ashleys' and Madisons' all I can think of at this moment is that it won't be pretty.**

**I'm not that happy with the outcome of this chapter and it's more like a filler chapter but it's something.**

**So as always leave a review and I'll be happy.**

**Disclaimer: I think that you all know by now that I don't own SoN. And I think that you would like to know the song in this chapter also, it's I'm sorry with Dilba, a Swedish singer, who at the moment is more of a pokerplayer.**

**Chapter 8: I'm sorry **

_I'm sorry, this illusion  
has caused you a lot of pain  
and I have no solution  
I'll try to never be back again  
I'm sorry_

I still can't believe that I did what I did towards Spencer. All she did was telling me the truth that I have always known, but I think that I didn't want to hear it or more like believe it.

What I mean is that Spencer friends and even family said that she wasn't over Ashley and probably never will, some people said that this girl was Spencers' true love but I just laughed at them, who meets their true and maybe only love in High School. I mean the bad broken up over four years ago when I met Spencer and as far as I could tell they didn't talk to each other and during the time we were together or what we should call it I know that they didn't talk.

So that is the reason why I thought that I might have a chance with Spencer and I can promise you that I'm not the only one that wanted to have a chance with her, have you seen her, that is all I can say.

Okay after I hit her and maybe it was bit too much but she kind of fell and hurt her head and it was just so easy to repeat what I just had done. I know that is no excuse but I truly feel bad. And with all of this I just didn't lose a girlfriend according to me but I also lost my best friend and that hurt even more.

At the moment am I hiding from the police, I know that she did report it to the police and don't ask me why all I know is that she did. Sometimes is it good to have some contacts at the station, that's all I'm saying. I haven't seen Spencer since that night and I know that it won't happen before a trial but I know that I would turn myself in if I just could see Spencer again. One of the first days she was at the hospital I knew that she crashed and that the managed to get her started again and I guess that I should be happy about that, otherwise I would be wanted for murder or manslaughter. I do read magazines so I know that this Ashley Davies, Spencers' ex is at the hospital and she is visiting Spencer but I still don't understand why the Carlins let her be there, I mean she hurt Spencer as much as I did maybe not physical but she was really hurt mentally, Spencer was really depressed. All I know is that he Carlins is blaiming me for all the pain that they are going through.

All I want is to apologize to Spencer about what happened but the chance that that would happen is like nil and I think that might be too late. But if there is something that I'll do is to hope and hope even more, that Spencer will forgive me one day.

Spencer, I'm sorry that I cost you so much pain and I guess that all of this was just an illusion for me, but at least it was a good one, for me. Maybe not the last part for either of us, but I'm truly sorry.

**AN: in know that I've already said this but leave a review and who knows the next chapter might be up before you know it. We do have some issues to deal with:**

**Spence needs to wake up**

**Spashley needs to tell how they feel for each other**

**What will happen when Jen meets Ashley and even Madison.**

**What will happen to Jen, will there be a trial or will Spencer drop the charges when she had have some time to think about all of this.**

**This are the questions that I've at the moment you guys maybe have some more questions about all of this and if you do let me know. I might be able to work them in this story or answer them for you.**

**So take care until the next update.**

**Johanna**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: sorry that it has been a few days since the last update but I didn't feel that inspired to write, even though it was just typing, but that also needs inspiration but here it is.**

**Have the draft done for the next chapter but I think that it might need some rewriting on that chapter, but not sure I'll see.**

**Disclaimer: don't own SoN or the song, in this case **_**on and on with Agnes, a Swedish idol winner.**_

**Just read this and leave a review.**

**--------------------------------**

**Chapter 9: On and On**

_On and on  
This love I feel for you goes on and on  
It's something you can't lose  
You're gonna find  
This heart of mine  
Withstand the test of time  
(Oh) On and on  
Can't you see this is where you belong  
I've got so much you've givin'  
Let down your guard  
And let these arms  
Shelter you tonight_

So there has been a month and Spencer hasn't woken up yet from her coma, there had been almost two weeks since Madison had seen tears fall from Spencers' eyes.

At that moment we all thought that she was going to wake up any minute, but that hasn't happen and it's really hard to sit by her side right now. Of course we all hope that she'll wake up soon but the doctors at this hospital are beginning to lose their hope, which is really annoying. And more on that is that the doctors believe that Spencer doesn't want to wake up. All I know is that she wants to wake up all that she needs to do is to come to term with what she wants and needs.

My biggest problem with all of this is that I can't say three little words that I want to say to her so bad. I want to be able to tell her that I love her. My problem is that if I tell her she won't be able to say it back to me. I know that it all seems selfish but I don't want to tell her that I love her and don't hear anything from her. That just brings back the memory of the first time I told her back when we dated in High School, I thought that she had fallen asleep when we watched a movie, she had nestled herself into my arms, and she had an even breathing and her eyes closed, so at that moment I knew that I could tell her how I really felt. So I whispered in her ear, that I loved her. That is something that I don't want to do again. I want it to be special this time. I want to look in her ocean blue eyes and tell her that I love her.

"Hey, Ashley, I think that you should go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat and after that maybe go outside, just so that you can get some fresh air." Paula said "And I'll sit with her during the time you're gone and I promise you that I'll call you if something changes."  
"Okay, but just so you know I don't want to leave and I'm only leaving if you promise that you'll call if anything happens."

"I promise that I'll do that."

"Fine I'll get something to eat and I'll see if I go outside, I'm not promising that." I said and I stood up from the chair that I've been sitting in for the last month. The truth is that I've even slept in it but that I didn't mean to. I might buy that chair when Spencer wakes up so that I'll have a memory of this whole experience.

"Ashley I know that you don't want to be gone for too long but I still think that you need to get some fresh air, I can almost promise that you will feel better after."

"I don't want to go outside, there are going to be paps everywhere and I won't get any time alone."

"I can't really understand the paparazzi thing. I mean I don't understand why they want to have pictures of us."

"I can tell you why, it has to do with me, and they know that I'm visiting Spencer and that she is your daughter and there for you all are interesting. And they want you to talk about all of this and they think that they can make you talk."  
"I don't like it. I actually hate it and I don't say that I hate something that often." Paula said and when she said it I couldn't help but to smile.

"Just so you know, you have used that word before. I know that, cause you kind of said it to me. You know when you caught me and Spencer making out on the couch in your livingroom, the first time."

"you know, I had forgotten about that."

"I can tell you that I haven't forgotten about that I don't think that I ever could. But now when I look back at it, it was kind of fun. I know that ypu where kind of shocked when you caught us. I mean finding your 17 years old daughter making out with her best friend on the couch."

"I think that you might be on to something there. I hope that was the only time you two did that there." When Paula said this I kind of began to blush, I was just getting redder and redder.

"Not really. I mean it wasn't the first time but all the other times we were more careful. You want to know something about the time caught us on that couch?"

"Why not, I mean we are taking a trip down memory lane right now."

"I told Spencer that we shouldn't be doing what we did on that couch, but she didn't listen. I was trying to get her to cool down a bit and I managed. I just wanted you to know that it might not have been a make out session that you would have walked in on."

"No, no, no I don't want to hear anymore. Just go Ash and get something to eat and some fresh air." Paula said and she was almost pushing me out the door.

I left the room and when I was walking towards the cafeteria I ran into both Madison and Glen in the hallway, they were on their way to Spencer. They were kind of surprised to see me outside of Spencers' room, they kind of knew that someone had kicked me out from that room, and there was only one person that could do that.

"Ash, I guess that my mother is with Spencer." Glen said.

"Yeah, do you think that someone else could get me outside that room? You do know that she can be scary when she wants to. By the way I would be a bit careful with the words that you use around her at the moment. Don't use any worst that could be interpreted in a sexual way. What I mean is that could scar her even more."

"What did you do?" Madison asked. Somehow she knew that I most have said something that could lead to this.

"Why do you think that I did something wrong? Just so you know we were just talking about the paparazzis and she told me she hated them and somehow we began to talk about the subject of me and Spencer +a couch and that equals make out session and getting caught. And then I told her that Spencer wasn't as innocent as everyone thought."

"Thanks Ash that is something that I wanted to know about my sister." Glen said and made a face, and I couldn't help it, I just laughed and I felt good to laugh again. And with that I left them.

**Spencers' room**

"hey mom! How is everything?" Glen asked, Paula looked up on her son and his girlfriend and Spencers' best friend and they were standing in the doorway.

"hello, well that depends on who you're thinking of. Me I'm as good as you can be under these circumstances when it comes to Spence there has been no change since the last time." Paula said and she had tears forming in her eyes.

"Mrs. Carlin, I'm sure that everything will be okay, and Spence will wake up soon." Madison said.

"Madison how many times do I have to tell you to call me Paula. I mean Ashley began to call me that even before I told her that she could call me that." Paula said and she smiled at a memory that just popped up.

"Okay, I'll try to remember that and speaking of that little devil, how is she really doing." Madison said.

"I think that she might be breaking down is Spencer don't wake up anytime soon. She claims that she is fine, but as far as I can tell she is not. And to make her leave this room is getting harder and harder every day."

"Mum, not so sound mean or anything to Ashley but I think that she might be needing to talk to someone."

"I guess that you are right. That is what the doctors always says when someone you love is in a coma. And I think that might be something I would tell her if she wasn't that close to Spencer."

"But she hasn't been close to Spencer for the last five years so she needs to talk to someone, she needs to process her feelings." Glen said, he could be pretty smart when he wanted.

"I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone talked to Kyla about this, who knows she might be able to make Ashley talk about all of this? And telling us how she is doing when she is home." Paula said.

"I talked to her last night, she doesn't know any more than we do. Ashley is here and then she leaves the hospital and goes to her hotel and stays there, until she can leave for the hospital the next morning. It seems like she is living in a bubble and she doesn't want to leave it or that is what Kyla told me." Madison said.

"That is not good."

"Mum, you're right, what if me and Maddie stays here at the moment and you can go and call dad and see if he might be a bit more lucky with Ashley." Glen said.

"Okay but you need to page me if anything changes and call Ashley while I'm gone. I kind of promised that I would call her if anything changes while she was gone. That was the only way I could get her to leave this room."

"Mum that is okay, we'll do that if anything happens. And just so you know what you just told us is kind of a confirmation of that Ash doesn't have a life at the moment." Glen said and Paula left the room to go and call her husband.

**Cafeteria**

I was standing in the line and was thinking about all of the things that had happened during this month that had passed. The truth is that it's nothing good. The nearest thing to good is that I have a chance to maybe have a relationship with Spencer if she wakes up, but at the same time we are no longer the same persons that we once were.

Sure I sit and talk to her but we don't get to know each other and it's kind of a one side conversation and that is not that fun anymore. All I want to do is talk to Spencer again.

It's like the love that I feel for Spencer has an on-button that isn't possible to turn off, I felt this when I was with Spencer but it might just be that I'm falling back in my old tracks and not moving forward. When Spencer is waking up I know that I need to tell her all of this but I don't know how to tell her or how she will react, maybe all of this isn't as good as I first thought maybe I'm going to make matters worse.

I was looking on what they had that I could get myself to eat, nothing looked that eatable but I knew that I had to eat. I looked at the salad; I'm just telling you, never eat a salad from a hospital cafeteria. It will probably be the same as always, a sandwich and some water and of course coffee. The coffee is almost worse than the salad and that is telling you a lot. I just bought my food and I decided that I would take it outside; I would save more time by doing this.

**Spencers' room**

Glen and Madison was sitting in Spencers' room, they had both began to feel a bit bored, they didn't have the same stamina when it came to waiting around like Ashley did or the other Carlins. After about 15-20 minutes they were beginning to get really bored more than normal, and Glen began to doze off in the chair that he was sitting at. And it was really silent in the room; the only thing that you could hear was the different machines that Spencer was hooked up on, the ones that were controlling her heartbeat and so on. Then form out of nowhere there were some unusual noises coming from the bed and the machines. Madison looked over at the bed and she saw some movements that she didn't expect to see. Was this really happening was Spencer waking up from her coma? This meant that they needed to contact Paula.

Madison began to wake up Glen from his sleep. "Glen! I think that your sister is waking up."

"Madison, don't joke about that." Glen said, he had been dozing off in his chair and there for hadn't seen what Madison had.

"I'm not joking. Why don't you go and look for yourself." And that he did and he saw that Spence was trying to open her eyes, but it was hard for her to do so. Finally Spence managed to open her eyes and she was looking around the room and she was confused. When Glen saw this all he could do was hugging his sister, the truth was that he had been losing a bit of the hope he had for his sister to wake up but that wasn't anything that he had said out loud.

"Maddie, why don't you call mum?" Glen said and at this moment he had totally forgotten about Ashley and so had Madison, they were both really excited about what just had happened. So Madison called Paula and she came running to Spencers' room and she couldn't either think about that she had promised to call Ashley at that moment all she wanted was to see Spencer again. But after she had been talking to her daughter for a while she remembered the brunette.

"Glen, Madison, have you called Ashley and Arthur?"

"NO! I totally forgot about that. If I call dad could you call Ashley." Glen said and looked at Madison.

"Sure." Madison said and the both of them left the room at that moment so that they could make their calls.

"Mum?" Spencer asked.

"Yes, honey."

"What did you mean with, call Ashley?" Spencer asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I kind of forgot to tell you that she has been visiting you ever since you slipped in to this coma. And it was Ashley that called me to tell me to find you."

"Okay, but I still don't understand, I mean why call Ash, she is in Europe."  
"No, Spence, she is right here I told you that she has been visiting you. She has been sitting by your side all the time. "

"So it was her that I heard. I just thought that I was dreaming."

"That's okay, honey but I think that she would love to see you. I just hope that Maddie didn't tell her that you have woken up."

"Why, aren't you happy?"

"Of course I'm happy but I think that she would be really disappointed that she wasn't here when you woke up."

"But then why don't we just pretend that I haven't woken up yet. Just leave the room when she gets here, and then I can tell her myself."

Ashley walked into the room a few minutes later.

"Madison said that something had happened with Spencer but she wouldn't tell me what had happened. She isn't worse?" Ashley asked and you could see that she was really worried.

"No, no thing like that, she was just moving around in her bed and they thought that they heard some muffling from her bed to, so she might be out from her coma and now she is just sleeping." Paula said and she was happy that Madison hadn't said anything more than that.

"Okay, so is it okay if I just sit here with her for a few minutes?"

"Great, I'll just leave you alone for a while." Paula said and she had a big smile on her face when she left the room.

"Spencer, I just wanted to tell you one more thing. Okay that is not really true I mean I its several things that I want to tell you but you see there is one major thing that I want to tell you." Ashley said.

Spencer at the same time thought;_ just say it, I don't want to sleep any longer, so you can say it Ash, I know that you can come on._

"Spencer what I wanted to say to you is that, I have this feeling and it kind of just goes on and on and it seems like it will never end. So there is just one way to say this and it's that I…

_Finally, _Spencer thought._ I mean soon I can also tell her the same, I think but I'm not sure that it's the same but it's seems like it. I think that she is building up her courage to tell me three small words and I want to tell her the same, okay for me it's four but whatever. _

"Spencer this is just so hard for me to tell you this. And I want you to know that this is hard for me to say to you because it's so true and I don't know how much longer I can stay like this not being able to talk to you, okay it's more like not getting a response from you." And then there was a silence for a few minutes during the time that Ashley tried to compose herself so that she could tell Spencer what she felt.

"Here goes nothing Spencer. So Spencer Carlin this is what I have been trying to tell you, I love you, always have and always will."

"I love you too Ashley Davies." And when Spencer said those words, there was a big thud. It was heard outside the room also, and with that Paula knew that Ashley had found out that Spencer was awake and had said something.

**AN: leave a review and now I'm gonna begin type in the next chapter but I also need to write something for my other stories.**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: so here it's the next part of this story, I hope that you all will like it.**

**And I wanted to say thanks for the reviews from the previous chapter, it really meant a lot and it help to get started with the draft for the next chapter, that is not ready yet but I wanted to post this anyway.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own SoN but that is something that you already knew, I guess at least. When it comes to the song, it's called **_**Curly Sue**_** and it's with Swedish rockband Takida, and this is a song that I really recommend for you all to listen to. I personally like it, it's one of my favorites and it's really beautiful.**

**That was is, so just read this and leave a review.**

**------------------**

**Chapter 10: Curly Sue**

_Your strength is so hard to find,  
I feel so much stronger now,  
the feeling´s alright.  
Your words make me whole again,  
those eyes cannot ever lie,  
you´re so divine  
I´m not ever alone, you´re not ever alone_

After a few minutes both Paula and Arthur walked into the room they were a bit curios about what just had happened.

"Spencer, what did just happen in here, we heard a thud." Arthur asked.

"DAD!" Spencer screamed.

"Yes Spence, I'm here but what just happened?" Arthur tried again.

"I don't really know. I mean first she was just talking and she said something and I answered her and then she just fell down from the chair and then you guys entered."  
"Okay, honey. But what did you tell her? It might have been something that shocked her."

"Nothing big really. I just told her that I love her. And don't say that it's a big thing cause she told me first." Spencer said

"Spencer Carlin, don't you think that might be a big deal. Did she even know that you were a wake from your coma?

"No?"

"And that is your answer to why she fell from the chair. Let's just turn this around for a minute. What if you were the one sitting beside Ashley when she was in coma, and you told her that you love her and the first thing that comes out from her mouth after you say that too her when you think that she is in a coma is I love you too." Paula said.

"Oh, I didn't think about that. I was just so excited that she was here and I could talk to her and when she said those words I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry."

"Spencer you have nothing to be sorry about. But just take it a bit easy during the next couple of days. Not just for Ashleys' sake but for yours to." Arthur said.

Finally Ashley began to wake up from what just had happened.

_This must be a dream I mean this can't be happening, Spencer can't be awake. But whys is both Paula and Arthur smiling and laughing; there is no laughing matter here. Spencer is in a coma, but how come that they are talking to someone, and not to each other. This is just so strange, _Ashley thought.

And after this both Glen and Madison cam through the door to the room,_ okay so this might be true, Spencer is awake why else would everyone be in this room smiling. There is just one way to get to know if this is true, _Ashley thought.

"Somebody pinch me." Ashley said. There was just one person that heard this and took that opportunity.

"Aouch that hurt." Ashley said this meant only one thing this wasn't a dream.

_  
I´m head over heels goddess of mine,  
your curls touching my face and now I can fly  
You brought my life back,  
The glory you found, I'm in deep debt, without you I wouldn´t survive  
I´m not ever alone  
_

**Ahleys' POV**

Okay so I felt that someone pinched me, that mean that I wasn't dreaming and all of this is really happening. Spencer is awake and she might also love me. She did say that she loves me but at the same time I don't really know what she meant by those words.

"I can't believe that this is happening." Arthur said and he gave Spencer a hug. I on the other hand haven't been able to say anything since she told me she loved me.

"Me too dad, I'm just so happy to see all of you." Spencer said.

"You're not alone to be happy. That is something that I can promise you." Arthur said. "And I know someone that is really happy to see that you're awake." He continued and he actually looked at me and then he turned to his wife. "Has she said anything to Spencer?" he asked his wife and I knew that he meant me; I still had a hard time believing all of this.

"Not since she realized that Spencer is awake." Paula told him.

"Mum, dad, I hope that you know that she is in the room and that you actually could talk directly to her if you want to know something." That voice I can recognize it anytime, it was Spencer. When she had said those words she looked at me with those beautiful ocean blue eyes. Here is the thing if I ever want to drown anywhere, Spencers' eyes are where I would choose to do that and I would be happy. I know, I know it does sound corny and all but it's true.

_  
Your smile is heavenly,  
I don´t deserve all the love that you're giving to me  
Your touch makes it hard to breathe,  
the shiver´s around me now, you´re so fine_

**Spencers' POV**

I still can't believe that Ashley is here. I mean I have dreamt about this moment for a really, really long time so that I don't really know what I should believe anymore. I know that she told me that she loved me and that I told her back that I loved her. And after that she just fell out from her chair. I guess that I surprised her and that is what I wanted to do but I never thought that it would end up like this. Ash hasn't said anything yet, and I'm starting to get a bit worried. As far as I can remember it's really hard to make her speechless and now she is.

"You guys, I was just wondering if you could leave me and Ashley alone for a while. I think that we need to talk, _alone._" I said.

"Of course honey." My mother said and she took the other with her. And when she left she gave me a wink, what was that about and what had happened to my mother. And as far as I can remember my mother and Ashley never really got along the kind of tolerated each other for me. It must be something in the air.

_  
I´m head over heels goddess of mine,  
your curls touching my face and now I can fly  
You brought my life back,  
The glory you found, I´m in deep debt, without you I wouldn´t survive  
_

**Normal POV**

"Ash, we really need to talk to each other." Spencer said but Ashley was still not responsive. And at this moment Spencer didn't have the patience to wait for the brunette to answer her. Spencer knew that there could be one thing that could get Ashleys' attention pretty quick but she wasn't sure if she wanted to use it but in the end she decided that she should use it.

"Ashley, why is there so many people with cameras trying to get in to my room." Spencer said.

""What!? What are the paps doing here? I swear if I see anyone with a camera I will sue someone, I sue this whole hospital and whoever let them get inside." Ashley said and she began to look around trying to spot the paparazzis but she couldn't see any and it just at that moment hit her Spencer had just told her that so that she would get some attention.

"Spencey" Ashley whined "I don't like that you just said that, and don't you ever joke about that again."

"Ashkins" Spencer tried but before she could say anything more Ashley interrupted her.

"Don't you ever call me that again." Ashley said.

"Okay, I won't as long as you don't call me Spencey."

"Fine, but why did you say that the paps was here?"

"Just so you know I tried to get your attention otherwise but it wasn't possible, so that was the only way I could do that.

"Oh. I'm sorry but I still have some hard time understanding all of this. And that this is happening. That you're awake and all, besides that there is so much I want to tell you, I don't really know where to start." Ashley said and she began to ramble. The only thing that Spencer could do at this point was to smile, this smile was just so genuine, and the smile from Spencer was even showing in her eyes.

"Ashley, you don't even know how happy I'm to see you here and I can't actually believe that you are here." Spencer said and she continued to smile. When Ashley saw this smile, it was her turn to flash one of her famous nose crinkle smiles and all of her pearly whites were showing. This was a smile that no one had seen in a while.

_  
The heart is pumping for my life, the mind is happy and I will love you to the day I die_

"Spencer I just want you to know that I never and I mean never stopped loving you. I think that I fell for you and have never stopped falling since I laid my eyes on you for the first time. And I want you to know that I'm head over heels in love with you." Ashley said and raised herself from the chair she had been sitting in and after that Ashley gave Spencer a kiss on the cheek. Ashley didn't want to scare the blonde girl by going too fast with this whole reunion. Ashley knew that there were so many more things that she wanted to do to and with the girl that was at the moment sitting up in the bed. But those things is something that we could wait for, I mean she is still in the hospital.

"I know what you mean." Spencer said as Ashley sat back down in the chair. "I haven't been able to get over you too. I think that the only reason that I'm here now is that I wanted to tell you that I love you." Spencer continued.

"I love you too, Spence. It just hurts so much to see you like this. I honestly don't know what I would have done if you didn't wake up when you did.

"Ah, you're just so sweet and cute."

"I'm not, I'm hot and sexy." Ashley said and began to laugh.

"Just come here and give me a kiss." As Spencer uttered those words, Ashley felt like she had gone to heaven.

This lead to Ashley once more raised from the plastic chair she ahd been sitting in and she walked over to Spencer bed. Ashley placed both of her hands on Spencers' cheeks, just so that she was able to cup the blondes' face. Slowly Ashley began to close the distance that was between the two girls. It didn't take her that long to close the gap that was between her lips and Spencers', this was something that Ashley had dreamt about for a long time. As soon as the gap between the two of them was closed, they shared one of the sweetest kisses between them. As the broke apart Ashley place her forehead against Spencers' just so that they could continue to be close to each other.__

I´m head over heels goddess of mine,  
your curls touching my face and now I can fly  
You brought my life back,  
the glory you found, I´m in deep debt, without you I wouldn´t survive

"I just want you to know how much you mean to me." Ashley said.

"I think that I know." Spencer whispered to Ashley as her brown curls where tickling Spencers' face and that was the only thing that Spencer cpuld think about at this moment and how much this meant to her. Somehow it felt like Ashley was the one that had brought her back to life. Ashley left Spencers' side just so that she could sit back down on the chair and as Ashley walked to the chair the only thing that went through Spencers' head at that moment was that Ashley really looked like a Greek goddess and she knew from this moment that she wasn't alone anymore.

"Ashley, you don't even know how much you mean to me. The truth is that I don't even know it myself how much you mean to me, or at least I didn't before all of this happened." Spencer said and there was teas forming in both of their eyes at this moment.

"Spencer, you don't have to say anything. I do understand. The truth for me is that I don't think that I have ever deserved you, and you deserve some better than me. The one thing I know for sure is that every time you smile I feel like I'm in heaven. And when you touch me, it can be placing some lose hair behind my ear or just touching my hand, all of that makes it really hard for me to breathe." Ashley said with even more tears forming in her eyes and they slowly began to fall down her cheeks.

"Ash, don't cry. All of that was really beautiful said." Spencer said and she reached for the other girls hand just so that they could be a bit closer and when their hands reach each other. Ashley knew what Spencer wanted so she just obeyed and took Spencers' hand and laced their fingers together. And Spencer slowly took Ashleys' hand and kisses it, and Ashley did the same, she kissed all of Spencers' knuckles.

It felt like they were back just as they used to be but at the same time Ashley knew that this was just the beginning and that they couldn't just jump back to where they left off before. They needed to get to know the other again before they could do anything else. But at this time they just wanted to be close, this new bounding could wait for another day or so.

"Spencer, why don't you go to sleep and get some more rest? Just so that we can continue this tomorrow." Ashley said.

"Okay, but promise me that you will be here tomorrow."

"Of course, I promise that I'll be here tomorrow. So you just go to sleep." And with that Spencer slowly began to rest and it didn't take her long before her breathing began to even out and she soon fell asleep.

"good night Spencer" Ashley said, and place a small kiss on Spencers' forehead before she went out from the room to get the others so that they could also sit with Spencer for awhile before they also left for the day.__

I´m head over heels goddess of mine,  
your curls touching my face and now I can fly  
You brought my life back,  
The glory you found, I´m in deep debt, without you I wouldn´t survive

**AN: okay this was this, I hope that I can update tomorrow or on Monday, so just please leave me a review. It will possible make me post next chapter faster.**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Sorry that it took so long with this update but here it is anyway. I hope that you will like it.**

**And I wanted to say thanks for those who did review the last chapter.**

**Disclaimers: Don't own SoN, but that you already knew, right and then we get to the song, it's magic with Colbie Caillat, I'm not that happy with choice of song but I didn't find another so I just took one, it was the first one that came up when I play favorites on my computer, and it fitted a little.**

**So just read and Leave me a review then I'll be happy. I hope that you all have had happy holidays and I wish you all a happy new year.**

**_______________________________________________**

**Chapter 11: Magic**

_And all I see is your face  
All I need is your touch  
Wake me up with your lips  
Come at me from up above_

It has been a couple of days since Ashley and Spencer had more or less confessed their endless love for each other but they both knew that they couldn't just throw themselves into something new. They really needed to get to know each other once again. And that was going to start today. Sure they have been talking a lot during the days after Spencer woke up but this was one of the days that they would really talk.

"Ashley" Spencer whined. They had been talking about how the first met and somehow Ashley had remembered it different from how it had happened. "You and I both know that is not the way that happened. You were really angry and accusing me of being a really dumb blonde and not being able to read.

**Flashback**

This was the first day for Spencer at her new school and Glen had left her alone once again, this was not the first time it happened. It had happened the time they were looking at schools, apparently he had seen some hot girl that he needed to talk to. So her she was standing alone at the quad looking around trying to figure out where she should be going.

Spencer began to walk in one direction and it looked like it was the right one after a few minutes she was standing in front of her locker and just as she was to open it, there was someone there yelling at her.

"Hey, Blondie. I think that you are at wrong locker. You see this I my locker and it has been for the last couple of years."

"I'm sorry but this is locker E104, right?"

"Yes, that is the locker."

"Then I have the right locker." Spencer said to this girl that was just a bit annoying at the moment.

"Well then Blondie you must be wrong or someone has given you the wrong locker."

"Okay if you say so." Spencer said.

"Finally, she has a brain." The girl said that Spencer didn't know the name of.

"What I meant to say was that we should go to the office to get this sorted out. So that I can get a new locker or that you can get a new one." Spencer said and looked at the brunette in front of her.

And with that the both girls began to walk the office, just so that they could see which one of them that was right.

"Well, well I didn't expect to see you here just yet Davies." The secretary said to them.

"Well you see Margo; I can call you Margo right." The girl called Davies said.

"You know that you can do that Ashley."

"Great so we are on first name basis, that's good to know." Ashley said.

"So what did you want then _Ashley, _and who is it that is with you?" Margo asked.

"Well, I don't know who she is but it seems that she thinks that she has my locker this year so we are just here to clear up that little misunderstanding."

"That is good to see that you want to clear that up."

"So which is her locker then?" Ashley asked.

"Let's look that up. So what is your name?" Margo asked and looked at Spencer.

"Spencer Carlin, Miss." Spencer answered.

"Okay here we have it, Carlin is assigned to locker E104 and you Ashley has locker E105 this year."

"So that means that I was right, I should have locker E104." Spencer asked just so that she would get it confirmed.

"Yes according to these papers that is correct. That means that we have cleared this up right girls?" Margo said.

"I think so and thank you for that." Spencer said to Margo and then she turned to Ashley and said, "Well as you just heard I was at the right locker so if you don't mind I would love to go to my locker and then go to my class.

**End Flashback**

"Fine so that was what happened but I still think that they just said that to you to be nice cause you were new and that Margo didn't like me." Ashley said and continued "but I got to meat you and get to know you, that meant that I met my best friend and maybe only friend that I had during those years."

"That might be what you think or need to believe but I was right, that I was I remember. Besides that we both know the reason for that Margo didn't like you and I think that she did like you I mean you were at first name basis when I met her the first time." Spencer said. After that both Spencer and Ashley were talking a bit more and somehow they once again came back to one of their first this one was more of a private one, that no one more then the two of them knew of.

"I swear Ash; I was the one that took the first step for that to happen."

"Yeah right Spence, I know that I was the first to take that step."

"Maybe the first of the two of us but not our first."

"So you are saying that I don't remember the first time… "

"Yes that is what I'm saying. So let's see what how it went." Spencer said and she was sure of that she was right. Ashley could never remember something important like that and be right but then again she wouldn't pressure Spencer in to doing something that she wasn't ready for.

"Wait a minute Spence, which one is we talking about the truth or dare or the other one." Ashley said as she remembered that it could be two different that Spencer was talking about.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that we both can be right at this one. Truth or dare was the first one, only because I dared you to do it and the other one was you that took the first step."

"I didn't count the truth or dare, it was a dare." Spencer said and sighed when Ashley had said that.

**Flashback**

Ashley and her sister Kyla had deiced that they should have a party, well it wasn't really a party it was more of a get together, a girls' night in. Some of their friends had come to play some games and of course see some movies.

All of them was sitting in the den and watch some movies Spencer was sitting next to Ashley and was at the moment holding on to Ashley for her life it was a movie that she really didn't like. When the scariest parts were on Spencer was hiding her face in the crook of Ashleys' neck. That was the best part of it all for Ashley she had this little crush on her friend but she didn't know how to tell Spencer that and she didn't want to lose her friendship over that, little did she know that the feeling at this point was mutual from Spencer side. After the movies Kyla and Madison that knew about Ashleys' crush decided that it was time for a little t and r so to say.

"I think it's time to play some games. And I think that we should start with truth and dare and after that we will see what we can continue with." Madison said and looked at Ashley and then to Kyla just so that he could see that they agreed with her.

"That sounds like a plan." Kyla said and smiled to her this could be really fun. After playing about twenty minutes and now it was Spencers' turn to decide what she wanted, she didn't feel like truth at the moment not after the questions that had been coming lately and now that it was Ashleys' turn to either give her a question or a dare, she knew that it would be hard either way but a dare she could tell the other that she just did cause it was a dare, truth was just a bit harder to explain.

"Dare." Spencer said but she wasn't sure when she said it and the others could see that.

"Spencer are you sure of that." Ashley asked, she wanted to know that Spencer was sure of this cause she knew that Spencer wasn't sure.

"Well not really but I don't want a truth." Spencer said and sighed afterwards.

"Okay that is enough for me." Ashley said. "And what shall we let Spencer do?" Ashley asked out load but she knew what she wanted Spencer to do but she just needed to formulate the sentence in a good way so that it happened what she wanted. "So I think I know what I want you to do." Ashley said and looked at Spencer.

"Okay Ash, what do you want me to do, this time." Spencer sighed; everyone knew that Ashley was good at this.

"Well I was thinking about telling you to kiss someone in this room, but then again there are only girls here so I'm not sure how you would react to that."

"Ash just spit it out." Spencer said and she was just losing a little of the patience that she had left at the moment.

"Fine Spence. I do think that you should kiss someone in this room." Ashley said and she was just looking at Spencer to see if she would get a reaction, everyone knew why Ashley had said that, well maybe not Spencer but the other girl that were there knew, and they were smiling some of them were even laughing. Spencer had just sighed when she heard that. She knew that she didn't have an option at this point, she had to do it, so she decided that she was going to kiss one of her friends and there were one that she wanted to kiss. All Spencer had to do know was to get some courage to do so; it didn't take that long for Spencer to build up that courage.

So she took a couple of steps just so that she could get closer to the girl that she was going to kiss. Spencer was leaning forward slowly closing the distance that was between the brunette that she was about to kiss, to every ones' surprise Spencer turned around and closed began to lean in to the girl that was sitting next to the brunette that they thought that Spencer was going to kiss. This was the girl that Spencer wanted to kiss, she didn't want to kiss the girl that she first had leaned into kiss, who wants to kiss your brothers girlfriend that would just be so wrong.

Spencer was now sitting in front of the girl that she was going to kiss, she licked her lips once before slowly closing the distance between the two of them, this was what she had been waiting for, and it was something that she wanted to do. As Spencer closed the distance between the two of them, the other girl also began to do the same, soon their lips was in contact with each others, it was amazing or at least that was what Spencer thought, but she didn't want to count this as the first kiss with this girl, it was a truth and dare kiss, and those isn't real, according to Spencer.

About a week later Spencer and the girl that she had kissed, hadn't really talked about what had happened but both of them wanted to talk about that. So during the lunch break at the Friday in school, the girl went up to Spencer and whisper something in her ear, and after that the both girls went to one of the restrooms, so that they could talk a bit more private, both of the cheeked all of the stalls so that there were on one there that could hear the talk.

"So you wanted to talk to me?" Spencer said and looked at the brunette in front of her.

"Yeah." The girl said and you could tell that she was nervous.

"So talk, I don't have all day and you of all people should know that." Spencer said and she was just a bit nervous to, there for she had a bit of an attitude.

"I know, Spence but this is hard. I just want to know why you have been avoiding me for the last week."

"I haven't been avoiding you." Spencer said.

"I most disagree with that, we haven't talked or hanged out, just the two of us like we do." The girl said and you could see that she was really sad and missed her friend.

"I have been busy."

"You are lying, I know that you haven't been busy. You know I do talk to my other friends and my sister, those are the ones that you have been hanging out with all week and not with me so don't give me that BS, Spence."

"Ash, I'm sorry that you think that but I didn't know what I was going to say to you."

"What do you mean, nothing happened."

"Nothing?!"

"…" Ashley just stood there and was really quiet she didn't know what she should say

"We kissed last week if you remember." Spencer yelled. This wasn't really going the way they wanted.

"I remember but it was just a game of truth and dare."

"It wasn't just a game for me." Spencer yelled and tears began to fall down her cheeks, this had been the last thing that she wanted to happen.

"What!?"

"I just told you Ash."

"I still don't…" Ashley began to say before she could finish that, Spencer cut her off. Spencer was pressing her lips against Ashleys' just so that Ashley would shut up and let Spencer tell her what she meant but this action, told Ashley all that she needed to know at this moment. It took Ashley a second or two before she truly realized what just had happened, and when she did she began to kiss Spencer back. As they broke apart from that kiss both of them leaned on each other.

"Do you understand now?" Spencer asked and looked Ashley in the eyes.

"I think so but I'm not sure." Ashley answer and kissed Spence again, Ashley began to trace her tongue along Spencers' lower lip asking for entrance and that was something that Spence more than willingly granted her. When they broke apart it was for the need of air so that they could breathe.

"I think that I know what you meant." Ashley said and looked in to Spencers' eyes.

**End Flashback**

"I'm not sure about the fact that you count that you initiated the truth or dare kiss, Ash" Spencer said and began to laugh.

"I still think that I did and that is our first kiss even if you don't think so." Ashley said and smiled towards Spencer.

"Fine, it was our first kiss but I still initiated it, you see I could have kissed someone else and as we said I almost kissed Madison. All you did was daring me to kiss one of you guys." Spence said, this was something that she didn't want to lose.

"So we are agreeing that the T and R was our first kiss that just meant that you someday are going to agree with me that I insisted that kiss."

"Only in your dreams Davies."

"You should know, you are always there." Ashley said and looked at Spencer with nothing but love in her eyes but she didn't want to push this further at the moment. Sure she knew that she loved the blonde but at the same time she wanted to get to know the Spencer that she was today and not to get back with the girl that she used to be, of course Ashley wanted the old Spencer also but she wanted the new Spencer, she wanted all of Spencer but only if Spencer wanted it too.

**AN: Yet again sorry about the late update and I'm think on taking this one on hiatus now, just so that I can finish writing it, and publish more chapters during the weeks and then work on my other stories. The might get on hiatus too, after one more chapter has been written to them. But I do have two more chapters' ready of this story so if you are nice and leave me a review I might put one of them of or maybe both.**

**Take care and a happy new year.**

**~Jo**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Okay so I'm going to post this chapter even thou I'm not done with this story, I just felt like giving you guys something more to read.**

**And thank you for the review it really means a lot and can I hope to get some for this one too, please.**

**Disclaimers: we all know that I don't own anything that is related to SoN.**

**The song is called Bimbo and is sung by Lambretta, a Swedish rock group. The lyrics might not be what I was looking for but the attitude that I hear in this song was what I was looking for.**

**I woudl need some help from all of you that read, i kind of need some help with what Ashley is goingto call Jen in the next chapter, when she is talking about her. So give me some suggestion about that.**

**_______________________________________________________**

**Chapter 12: Bimbo**

_Who's she blowing kisses from the catwalk  
Tell me, I really gotta know  
Since when did you need another girlfriend  
since when, I really gotta know  
I really gotta know_

_  
_Ashley had been talking to Spencer and they had been reminiscing some old memories and it had been really fun, it was almost as that they were back at that time, the truth was that both Arthur and Paula had been there to and talked about the old times that they had. This day had been really great and as from here on it couldn't get any better at the moment, the only thing that could be better was if Ashley could be sure of that she would be back with Spencer as soon as possible but she also knew that she shouldn't be pressuring this kind of thing.

_  
She's been faking since day one  
a friendly kiss includes no tongue  
Who's she, tell me  
Now she's sleeping in my bed  
Oh God I wish that she was dead  
I need to know  
Who's that bimbo  
_

A couple of days later Ashley had talked to Madison she wanted to talk to Spencers' best friend just so that she could get some more information on this matter with the former girlfriend or what she had been and was the reason that Spencer was at this hospital and Ashley knew that she wouldn't get Spencer to talk about this right now but Ashley wanted to know at this point. She had been waiting for too long not to know what all of this was about and she hoped that Madison could tell her just a bit more about this little bitch. That had done this to the most amazing girl in the world. It most has been some reason behind all of this and someone besides this Jen girl that would know.

_  
Who's she looking goofy in a Gucci dress  
what's that , I really gotta know  
Which bone in her body should I break first  
which one, the bimbo's gotta go  
the bimbo's gotta go  
_

"Ashley, you said that you wanted to talk to me about something. So what is it?" Madison asked when the both of them were sitting down at a table outside the hospital.

"I don't really know where to start with all of this. But what I can say is that it has to do with Spencer and this Jen. I don't really know anything about her and what could have made her do what she did."

"I don't know what to tell you but as far as I knew they didn't have any big problems but then again Spencer was never really happy with her."

"but if she wasn't happy why was she with her?"

"no one really know but I think that I can think about one reason why she was with her." Madison said and thought back on what Spencer had told her why she dated the Jen.

"and that is? Maddie you know that you just can't let me hanging like that, so just tell me." Ashley said and she was just lacking a little patience at the moment.

"if I remember this right she said something about the fact that she wanted someone in her life that would always be there for her and then the most obvious reason of all but if you say it to Spencer she will deny it and deny it again."

"And that reason is, I know that I should know but I haven't talk to anyone of you during these past years the only things that I know is what Kyla told me."

"I know that but I think that you know deep down what I'm talking about. You."

"Me? I don't understand."

"You are the reason why she dated Jen, she was like a copy of you but at the same she wasn't, that was the reason that Jen was still with her. "

"Oh, I didn't know that but why would she date someone like that."

"the same reason that you only have had blondes and blue eyed girls by your side."

"But I don't see it still."

"Ashley Davies, are you sure that you isn't high or that you have lost all of your brain cells."

"yes I'm sure of that."

"She never got over you and I pretty sure that she never wanted to. I mean that if she wanted to then she would have moved on."

"that makes sense, but that still not a reason for Jen to beat the hell out of her."

"Don't you listen to what I said. I just said that Spencer still was or is in love with you. Don't you think that is a reason for this girl to do something stupid."

"I don't think so but that is me."

"I don't want to talk about this. I can tell this that they were never official together, the night this happened Spencer broke it off with her and as far as I know Jen thought that Spencer was going to ask her to make their relationship official." Madison said and she looked kind of sad when she said it and thought about it. She kind of wished that that night never had happened.

_  
She's been faking since day one  
a friendly kiss includes no tongue  
Who's she, tell me  
Now she's sleeping in my bed  
Oh God I wish that she was dead  
I need to know  
Who's that bimbo_

Both Madison and Ashley were leaving and when they were walking towards the entrance of the hospital Ashley saw something that she never thought that she would see. It kind of scared her, she saw someone that looked almost just like her. Slowly she turned to the girl that looked like her and at the same time pulled in Madisons' arm to make her aware of the girl that she saw.

"Madison, look at that girl? She kind of looks like me, right?" Ashley said and pointed towards the girl on the other side of the street. Madison looked at the girl that Ashley pointed at and she took a sharp breathe she couldn't believe what she saw. It was Jen. Madison had a hard time grasp the idea that the girl that almost everyone hated at this point dared to show her face around here, anyone could see her.

"Madison, why aren't you saying anything?" Ashley asked she began to get a bit nervous about all of this. "Maddie is that girl who I think it is?"

"it depends on who you think it is." Madison said, she didn't want to tell Ashley who it was at this moment. Who knew what the brunette would do.

"that gives it away." Ashley said and she began to cross the street she was just going to talk to other girl and let her know that there are something that you don't do towards other people how much you don't like them at the time.

I know it's sad  
sometimes I just lose my head  
boy I'm getting so mad  
I know it's sad  
sometimes I just lose my head

"Ash, don't do anything stupid!" Madison yelled towards the brunette that was crossing the street and at that moment Madison knew that she needed to follow the girl to make sure that she didn't do anything the she would regret later on. But then again Ashley didn't do much that she regretted, or more like admitted that she regretted. It was just one thing that she had admitted that she regretted and that was leaving Spencer-

"I'm not." Was the response that Madison got from Ashley. And with that she stood behind the other brunette that was almost looked like a carboncopy of herself, it was almost scary. Ashley tapped the other girl on her shoulder to get her attention.

"Excuse me." Ashley said to the other girl.

"yes" the girl said and turned around and she stood face to face with a really angry Ashley. "what did you want?" the girl asked.

"Oh there was just one thing I wondered." Ashley said and looked straight in to the other girls' eyes.

"yes and that is?" the girl asked.

"Well I was just wondering if your name is Jen?"

"yes." Anything more than that the girl never had a chance to say before she was hit in the face with a fist. Ashley couldn't done more damage to the other brunette before the Latina had caught up with her.

_  
I know it's sad  
sometimes I just lose my head  
boy I'm getting so mad  
I know it´s sad  
sometimes I just lose my head  
_

"I thought that you said that you wouldn't do anything stupid." Madison said to Ashley.

"I said that but I couldn't help myself and I am truly sorry about that." Ashley said but she didn't apologies to the girl that she had hit in the face.

"I'm sorry but I don't really understand why you would hit me." Jen said, she hadn't connected the dots yet. You could see on her that she was thinking about why this girl would hit her but she knew that she didn't know that girl.

"What can I say, you hurt someone that I really care about, and that is something that you do and get away with it." Jen still had some problems with the whole connecting thing. There was just one person that she knew that she hurt during the past couple of months and that was Spencer but this girl was someone that she never had seen before with Spencer but at the same time this brunette was familiar and the Latina she was familiar. Finally Jen had connected the dots, the Latina was Madison Spencers' best friend but the other brunette was someone that she didn't know the name of.

"okay so I hurt someone that you care about but that don't give you the right to hit me or hurt me just so that you can get even." Jen said and she wanted to make sure that both of them knew that she wasn't joking around."

"maybe that is right but at the moment I really don't care about that." Ashley said.

"you may say that now but just so you know I may press charges against you." Jen said to Ashley.

"you do that but I think that might be a tiny problem. You see if you set a foot at policestation they will arrest you for assault and how knows maybe attempted murder or manslaughter." Ashley said.

"and why would that be?" Jen asked, sure she knew that Spencer had made a report but she thought that she might be able to make that one disappear if she just talked to the blonde.

"whatever you say." Ashley said and you could see that this was far from over in her eyes. Ashley wouldn't let this girl down this easy and fist in the other girls face was the only visible assault that she was going to get but no one had said that Ashley wouldn't use some of her more verbal skills.

_  
She's been faking since day one  
a friendly kiss includes no tongue  
Who's she, tell me  
Now she's sleeping in my bed  
Oh God I wish that she was dead  
I need to know_

Ashley was just standing there and looking at the girl in front of her and she had Madison on her right side and that meant that she had someone that she probably could trust and help her get her point forward to the girl that had hurt Spencer in more ways than one. That was going to end soon enough in one way or another.

"So you mean that you are leaving now." Jen said.

"you wish that was what I was saying but that is far from it."

"but you just said whatever so then I'm suggesting that you leave. We don't have anything to talk about." That comment made both Ashley and Madison to take a step closer to the third girl but neither of them said anything at the moment they wanted Jen to make the first move at this point.

"I don't agree with you there." Ashley said and continued "I think that we actually have a lot to talk about and I now excatly where to start."

"Oh, you know that. Isn't that a good thing." Jen said and smirked when she looked over to the two other girls.

"I think so." Ashley said and grabbed the collar of the oterh girls shirt just to show her that she meant everything that she said.

"I suggest that you let go of my shirt, Ashley Davies." Jen said she had finally realized who the other girl where.

"You do that, well I think that I might do that but first I want you to promise me one thing to begin with it might be more." Ashley said and she let go of the Jens' shirt at time being.

"Okay what do you want me to promise?"

"Well I would like you to promise to leave Spencer alone."

"I could do that but I'm not sure of that I want to do that. I mean that girl is fine." Jen said, she was a bit scared of the other girl but she didn't want to show that there for she took this not so smart attitude and acted on it.

"Oh, so you will do that and well I know that Spencer is fine as you put it but she is much more than that but I'm not sure that you would know that or even notice it." Ashley said and she was really angry at this girl right now.

"You say so but if I can remember correctly you left her so that you could pursue your music career." Jen said and this was no good thing for her to say.

"Well I know that and I know that I can admit that I made a huge mistake when I did that but can you do the same and admit when you are wrong." Ashley said to the girl.

"Ash, calm down a bit and just leave her alone. We should really go back. You do know that we told Paula that we wouldn't be gone for that long and I know that there is someone that wants to see you much as much as she can and I know that you feel the same so let's leave." Madison said and looked at Ashley almost begging her to let it go and leave Jen alone.

"Maddie as much as I would love to leave this little bitch here and never talk or look at her one more time I'm not done with her just yet." Ashley said and no one really knew what she meant by that but one thing was for sure, it wasn't a good thing to be on Ashley Davies bad side.

"so you won't leave me just yet maybe the thing is that you are a bit selfish so that you just want to have the last word and not let me win." Jen said and she looked in to Ashleys' eyes that was not a good thing casue when she did that she could see Ashleys' feelings at this moment and the only word that could describe them was anger and maybe even a bit of hatred for the girl that looked her in the eyes.

"Well I wouldn't say that it's more like I want justice for Spencer and who knows when that is going to happen. So there for I want you to promise that you never see Spencer again and leave us all alone and never lay a hand on anyone else. I know that you can do that. And then after you promise me that you turn yourself in so that we all can leave all of this behind us. I know that I want to do that and I think that all of the Carlins want to do that to and maybe even you."

"Sure thing I can promise you that but how would you know if I keep that promise. You can't be by her side forever and you can't do anything to me." Jen said.

"Well maybe that is true about the other parts but I can get a restraining order towards you for me and probably for Spencer too. And after what you did to Spencer I'm pretty sure that you will be going to jail for some time."

"That sounds like you can do that but I know that Spencer won't do anything of what you have told me. She isn't that person; she doesn't want anything bad to happen to anyone. There is your answer." Jen said, and there were something in her answer that might be true, Spencer did see the good in all people that she knew but this was different.

"You can tell yourself that just promise that you won't come near Spencer again and if you do I can promise you that you will regret it." Ashley said and looked Jen straight in her eyes.

"Well I can promise that I won't be in your way anymore more than that I can't say at this moment but I know that Spencer is going to talk to me one way or another."

"Fine Jen, Spencer will talk to you but I don't think that it will be anything more than telling you to go to hell." Madison said and this was the first real thing that she had said to Jen during this time that they have been talking.

"Okay so let's leave this." Ashley said and turned around and when she did she felt someone throw themselves at her. it was Jen this meant that things were going to get physical and that was something that both Madison and Ashley had hope that it wouldn't go there but Madison knew that Jen would probably go there after all that Ashley had said to her. And here they were more like Ashley was being attacked by one angry girl.

She's been faking since day one  
a friendly kiss includes no tongue  
Who's she, tell me  
Now she's sleeping in my bed  
Oh God I wish that she was dead  
I need to know

I think that we all can think about how this little fight between Ashley and Jen went.

It wasn't that much of a fight all that it was was that Ashley was defending herself from all of blows that Jen tried to get to her but that was something that she couldn't do. Ashley knew how to defend herself and then there was Madison that could do something too. Madison just grabbed Jen by the waist and dragged her away from Ashley if there were one thing Madison knew was that you don't mess with Ashley when she was in this mood.

"Hey Davies! What you said before about promising me something, should I take that as a promise or threat, I'm just wondering. So I know what to tell Spencer when I see her." Jen yelled to Ashley when she was dragged by Madison. If there was one thing that Jen should be thankful for at this moment it would be that Madison was there to otherwise it would be one more girl at this hospital with some assault damages and it wouldn't be Ashley.

"Jen! You can take it how you want to take it I know what I meant and that is enough for me and let me tell you this I don't think that Spencer will believe you. Just how you look like." And with that Ashley left and Madison stood there and looked surprised she was just a bit confused about what just had happened, Ashley Davies had walked away without a fight, that would be some kind of record for the time or maybe it was just that the girl had done some growing up that she claimed that she had done but it was still a surprise that I had happened. The run in with Jen had happened outside the hospital sure they had been on there way back just to see Spencer for the first time that day but the run in with Jen had made the both of them upset so they didn't want to see Spencer just yet so the decide to get some coffee for themselves and then take some with them when they went to see Spencer afterwards. They both knew that they needed to talk to Paula about this and the police but not now, they needed some time to cool off or at least Ashley did.

Now she's sleeping in my bed  
Oh God I wish that she was dead  
I need to know  
Who's that bimbo

**AN: this was this part the next part am I not sure of when I'm going to upload. And as you could read was this the chapter were we had a bit of confrontation between some of the people.**

**And I'm not so happy with this chapter, I couldn't really get down in writing what I wanted to say, but at least there were something.**

**Next chapter will be Jen talking to Spencer. Just so you know Spencer is soon going to leave the hospital, and then it will be a bit of time jump…**

**So just leave your thoughts and I might be nice to you all and give you one more update soon.**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: okay so her is the next chapter I was kind of thinking that I wouldn't put anything more up until this story was finished but I wanted to know what you are thinking about this chapter. This was a chapter that I had thought about putting up before the previous one and has that chapter as a flashback but as you can see I didn't do that.**

**I wanted to say thanks for the reviews or at the last chapter the review. So that wasn't as good as the previous. So just leave me a review and let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own SoN or the song when did your heart go missing with Rooney.**

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**Chapter 13: when did your heart go missing**

_I'm waiting, waiting for nothing  
you're leaving, leaving me hanging  
When did your heart go missing?  
When did your heart go missing?  
I treat you like a princess  
But your life is just one big mess  
When did your heart go missing?  
When did your heart go missing?_

It has been about an hour since Jen had a run in with Madison and Ashley. So she was on her way to Spencers' room so that she could talk to her and tell the blonde what just had happened with that little meeting with the two other girls.

Spencer deserves to know what her so called friends said to me, Jen thought and when she finds out she will be more than furious with them. Cause everyone knows that Spencer hates violence. Then of course it wouldn't hurt to tell Spencer her side of the story first and maybe just maybe change a little bit of what happened, paint Madison and Ashley 'freaking' Davies in a bad way. Jen knew that if she wasn't the first one to tell Spencer what had happened to her, Spencer never would believe her. Everyone knew that Spencer most of the time believed her best friend and that is who Madison was.

Jen was standing outside of Spencers' room at the moment she needed to collect her thoughts just so that she didn't lash out on the blonde girl that was laying in a hospital bed at the moment.

Slowly Jen opened the door to the room and peek in, to see that she was at the right room and that was when she saw Spencer for the first time since that night that all of this happened, and she heard that voice, that she knew so well.

"Ash, is that you?" Spencer asked, Spencer was waiting for Ashley and Madison to come by, they were actually late and that were the only persons that she was expecting at the moment. Jen took a step forward to show herself to Spencer and hopefully have a chance to talk to her before she had security on her back.

"No, Spence, it's me Jen."

"What are you doing here? Spencer asked.

"I thought that I would come and visit you, I heard that you had woken up so I thought that I might talk to you." Jen said and as she took a good look at the girl that was in the bed, she couldn't believe that this was the girl that she used to date. Spencer wasn't looking anything like she used to, she had lost some weight and her eyes weren't filled with life like the used to be.

"That was nice of you but I want you to leave." Spencer said and looked right in Jens' eyes and knew that this was the time that she needed to be strong.

"Well, I don't think so." Jen said to Spencer and looked at the blonde with a looked that said that she wouldn't leave anytime soon.

"I still think you should go, before I call for security." Spencer said and she was getting upset with the girl in front of her and she was also a bit scared she never knew what Jen could do.

"Spence, I promise that I will go. I just need to talk to you for a moment." Jen said, more like plead with the blonde.

"Fine I give you 10 minutes and when that is up you will leave this room and leave me alone." Spencer said, it was more of a demand.

"That is all I'm asking for." Jen said.

"So talk, your time is starting now."

"You see, I kind of had a run in with bitch and bitchier today, just an hour ago." Jen said and began to think back on her meeting with Madison and Ashley.

"I don't know what you mean." Spencer said, she had no idea on what Jen meant with that.

"Well, there were a couple of your friends that somehow decided that they needed to talk to me." Jen said, "And talking wasn't the only thing they did as you can see." Jen said and pointed to eye that had began to get a bit blue and black after the punch that Ashley had managed to get in. When Spencer looked up and saw that black eye, she just smiled to herself, now she knew who Jen had a little run in with and she should truly be glad that she isn't laying in a bed herself, Spencer thought but she didn't say anything.

"I can see that but who did you run in to?" Spencer asked.

"There was this Latina that you know, like your best friend, Madison and then there was this chick that claimed that she was Ashley Davies, and I actually believe her.

"If that is true then way are you here, I mean they could come through that door at any time." Spencer said and she got just a little more confident when she heard that it indeed had been Ash and Maddie.

"You are right Spence."

"My name is Spencer."

"Okay, Spencer, I just wanted to come by and tell you that they threatened me and I wanted you to know that, and then I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay so now I know that and tell me what you want from me so that you can leave me alone."  
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry and…"

"You are sorry?!" Spencer yelled. "You don't think that it might be too late for that now. It's your fault that I'm here."

"Spencer you can't blame this on me." Jen said and took a step closer to Spence and placed a hand on Spencers' shoulder and slowly moved that hand closer and closer to Spencer neck. Jen had a grip on Spencers' neck, it wasn't that hard and it wouldn't leave a mark but I was enough to make Spencer form tears in her eyes and scare her even more.

"But it was you that did all of this to me." Spencer managed to get out and when she said those words Jens grip around her neck.

"Spencer, Spencer, I thought that you had learned your lesson the last time. It's never just my fault. You see this is as much your fault that it's mine." Jen said and had a huge grin on her face, and it wasn't a nice one. All of this that happened made tears fall down Spencers' cheeks, slowly and in silence, it was really scaring. This was something that she should have for seen that Jen would do but Spencer had hoped that Jen had come in peace so to say and meant to apologies.

Jen slowly leaned in and still kept her grip on Spencers' neck and whispered something that Spencer never will forget.

"I hope that you can keep you little moth quiet and never mention this to anyone, not your friends, the doctors, nurses or the police. I know that you have made a report on the other thing and I was kind of hoping that you would let that go. But somehow I don't think that will happen, so just keep this a secret. And if you do that all will be fine and nothing bad will happen to you again." Jen said and all that Spencer could do was nod, this was just too much for her. Jen just wanted to add something more to this whole mess that was created as she walked out the door.

"Spence, just so you know I always treated you like a princess. There were just one thing missing in our relationship and that was your heart. And there is just one thing that I wonder, and that is when did your heart go missing."

During the time that Jen told Spencer her side of what had happened Madison and Ashley had made it back to the hospital after that the both of them had been to a nearby café to get some coffee and calm down a notch. The calming down was mostly Ashley that needed to do. She still couldn't believe that someone was a stupid as this Jen character was. As they left the café they bought some coffee for Spencer and for Paula they knew that the needed to talk to both of them and tell them what happened and hopefully before 'crazy head' did.

As soon as the two of the entered the hospital they ran in to Paula.

"Mrs. Carlin." Madison said, she wasn't used to greet the older woman with her given name, even thou she was allowed to do so.

"Madison, Ashley. I didn't think that I would see you two down here. I thought that you were supposed to visit Spencer." Paula said to the two girls.

"Well, Paula we were on our way we have been to a café nearby and had some coffee and we have some for you too and Spencer of course." Ashley said.

"Thank you girls, that was nice of you."

"Well." Ashley began to say and began to scratch her head, she wasn't sure on how she should tell Spencers' mum about what just had happened.

"Ashley." That tone that you could be heard in Paulas' voice wasn't one that you want to hear.

"We kind of had a little run in with someone that Ashley shouldn't be meeting." Madison said.

"Okay, but I still don't understand what you are saying." Paula said.

"Well, we should be heading to Spencers' room but let's talk on the way." Ashley said. "We don't want to give Spencer cold coffee." She continued.

"Okay. But what is it that you have a hard time telling me." Paula said and she looked at the both younger women in front of her. As they began to walk to Spencers' room they began to tell Paula about their little run in with Jen and as they were outside of Spencers' room they were almost at the end of their story.

"Well as you can see on Ashleys' hand she kind of had some more physical interaction with that crazy bird." Madison said and when she said that Paula looked at Ashleys' hand and saw that her knuckles were bruised and had some cuts on them.

"Ashley Davies! What did you do?" And as Ashley was about to answer that question she was interrupted by the older blonde. "I don't and to know but I think that I can guess what it was."

"That is good so that means that I don't have to explain." Ashley asked.

"Not to me but I think that you are going to need to explain that to someone in that room." Paula said and pointed to Spencers' room.

"And I was kind of hoping that I wouldn't need to do that." Ashley said and looked a bit worried she knew what Spencer had felt about violence before and she didn't think that she had changed her mind about that just yet.

"Ashley we all know how Spencer fells about that. And I do think that its better that she hears what happened from the two of you before she hears from Jen." Paula said.

"I guess that you are right but that doesn't make this any easier. I feel like I somehow have let Spencer down by hitting Jen." Ashley said and she was beginning to regret what she had done, well at least the whole using unnecessary violence but the threat wasn't something that she regretted.

And with that the three women walked in to Spencers' room where they saw the blonde girl laying in her bed, sleeping.

"Look, she looks so peaceful. Like nothing is bothering her." Madison said as they looked at Spencers' sleeping form. But what they didn't know was what had happened in this room just 15 minutes ago, when Jen had been in this room.

"You are right." Paula said but Ashley wasn't as sure as the two other that everything was okay with Spencer. Ashley took some steps closer to Spencers' bed and when she looked at the sleeping girl she could see some marks on Spencers' neck but she couldn't say what it was. But Ashley had a feeling that it wasn't something good, almost like they were too late to tell Spencer about Jen.

What if she already has been here and told Spencer, Ashley thought but this wasn't something that she wanted to burden the others with, she would ask Spencer later.

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**AN: ****Okay so here was the latest chapter so please let me know I have the next two chapters ready and I'm writing on the next chapters after those two and I think that it might be ready today. And I have the rest of the story planned out and I'm writing on that too and I think that it might need some more ideas to fill out between some of the chapters so let me know what you want to read and I'll see if I can work it in.**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Okay I am so sorry for not updating this sooner this chapter have been ready for awhile and I wanted to have more of the story ready before posting. Honestly I wanted to have the whole story finished but that isn't the case. I am writing on the other chapters as you read this.**

**All I can tell you I that chapter 15 and 16 are ready and some parts of the two last chapters are also in progress at the moment.**

**Disclaimer: don't own SoN but that I think that you already know. And the song is När hela värdlen står utanför (when the whole world is on the outside) with the group Jumper it's a song in Swedish and I have tried to translate it but I'm not sure if it's a good translation. **

**Please, leave me a review I kind of need some feed back at the moment and I would really love to know what you think.**

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**Chapter 14: When the whole world is on the outside**

_**Who am I going to play? **__(Vem ska jag spela?)_

_**Who am I pretending to be?**__ (Vem ska jag låtsas att jag är?)_

_**What shall I say**__ (Vad ska jag säga?)_

_**What are you going to think about the one I am?**__(Vad kommer du tycka om den jag är?)_

_**Who am I going to play?**__(Vem ska jag spela?)_

_**Who am I pretending to be?**__ (Vem ska jag låtsas att jag är?)_

_**What shall I say**__ (Vad ska jag säga?)_

_**What are you going to think about the one I am?**__(Vad kommer du tycka om den jag är?)_

_**When the whole world are on the otherside**__ (När hela världen står utanför)_

_**Who am I going to play**__ (Vem ska jag spela då?)_

_**Would you understand? (would you understand)**__ (Kommer du förstå? (kommer du förstå?))_

_**When the whole world is on the other side (**__När hela världen står utanför)_

_**Who am I to you then**__ (Vem är jag för dej då?)_

_**Would you understand**__ (Kommer du förstå?)_

_**What I say**__ (Vad jag säger då?)_

Today was the day that Spencer was going to leave the hospital and be able to go home. This was something that everyone was looking forward to.

But mostly Spencer she was really missing her own room and bed but that wasn't something that she was going to admit anytime soon. If there were one thing that she was afraid of right now besides the fact that she didn't know if the police had gotten Jen in to custody or even had had her in for interrogation, she was afraid of what that girl might do if she found out that Spencer had been relished from the hospital. That stunt that that girl had pulled in the hospital room had taken a bad turn for Spencer. She had gone back in her recovery a bit otherwise she would have been home already but Spencer hadn't told anyone about that. Not even after Madison and Ashley had told her about their run in with Jen on the street and they had told her everything. Not everything they had kind of tried to not tell her about the physical interaction between Ashley and Jen. Spencer had know that it had happened and that Ashley just had walked up to Jen and punched her in the face after she had found out that it was Jen, or that was what Jen had told her. When Spencer had seen Ashleys' hand she had asked even though she knew what had happened, she wanted her friends version of the run in. And they had told her.

Ashley was afraid of one thing now that Spencer was being relished from the hospital, all the paparazzis that was going to follow her around, all thou they didn't know what Spencer looked like but they knew what her friends and family looked like so it wouldn't take that long to figure out for them who Spencer was and when that happens she won't be able to go anywhere. And all the speculations that already were out there would just get worse and that was something that Ashley didn't want to happen to Spencer. Spencer had already been through so much and Ashley didn't want to put any more stress to her than she already was under.

Spencer was leaving the hospital they had all agreed on that Ashley wouldn't be there in that way it might not be as many paparazzis in their way and following them home. Later that same day Ashley would stop by the Carlin resident so that they all could talk and eat and have a good time. Ashley had an idea about what she wanted to do.

And as the Carlins were leaving the hospital they were walking pretty slowly, Arthur had parked the car just outside the back entry so that they wouldn't be going out the main entry and of course so that Spencer wouldn't need to walk to the car or at least not that long walk. And as the Carlin family left the hospital there were some photographers that toke some photos but they didn't get that good shots of Spencer at the moment but there was just a question of time before that would happen.

**Later that same night**

All of the Carlins were finally at the house and Arthur and Glenn were working on the barbeque that they were going to have Spencer were inside half laying on the sofa and watching some TV show but she wasn't paying any attention to it. Paula on the other hand was in the kitchen preparing some salad and other things for the barbeque.

Ashley had told them that she was coming by to have dinner with them, and she had told them that she might bring Kyla with her. That would mean that they were going to have a minor reunion. There were some plans that there might be a bigger one when Spencer was feeling up to that, if she ever would feel anything like that.

Ashley was standing outside the Carlins front door and she had Kyla with her. Kyla hadn't been to the hospital to visit Spencer that was something that she couldn't do, but she knew how Spencer had been feeling and what had happened. During the ride to the Carlin family they had been lucky not to be followed by any paparazzis that would have really been big trouble in many ways one of the biggest would be that they would knew where Spencer was living.

They just walked in through the door that was something that Ashley always did when she knew that they were expecting her and she didn't' want to bother them at the moment.

"Hey is there anyone in here?" Ashley yelled when she entered through the door. And on cue Paula walked out from the kitchen.

"Hello Ashley. Oh, hi Kyla I didn't see you at first." Paula said.

"What can I say; I'm kind of hard to see when my dear sister is with me." Kyla said and they knew that she just meant it as a joke. Ashley just rolled her eyes.

"Okay, Arthur is in the yard with Glen and they are trying to get along so that they can begin to barbeque and Spencer is on the sofa. So it's just up to the two of you what you want to do?"

"Great, is Madison coming?" Ashley asked.

"I think so but she was running a bit late." Paula answered her.

"Good, good, I need to talk to her." Ashley said.

"So Kyla how have you been?"

"I can't complain. I mean it could be better but it could be worse. And how are you feeling? It must be great to have Spencer back home."

"I'm okay and it feels great that she has been able to leave the hospital but she has to take it easy for awhile. How come that you never were at the hospital?"

"I didn't want to intrude and get even more attention to the whole situation. I think that it was enough to have one of the Davies sisters running around there." Kyla said.

"What do you mean Kyla? You wouldn't have intruded and I'm quite positive that Spencer would have liked to see you." Paula told the younger brunette.

"I think that it's true Ky." Ashley said to her sister.

"Okay, but I know how much trouble you had with the paps there when it was just Ash and then think about what had happened if they saw that I was there too."

"Let's not talk about that now and you can go and talk to Spencer now and then Ashley can help me in the kitchen."

"Sure Mrs. C." Kyla said. And with that they all went there ways, Kyla went to the living room so that she could talk to Spencer and Ashley and Paula went in to the kitchen and so that they could get the plates and some other things so that they could set the table.

"So how has everything been with you Kyla?" Spencer asked.

"It's been pretty good and how has things been with you."

"Well apart from this little misunderstanding with this girl that landed me at the hospital pretty good."

"Misunderstanding? Spencer from what I have heard that is far from the truth."

"Okay so that might be the case but I don't want to talk about that, let me hear something about you. I need some good gossip."

"Nothing big, I kind of have been trying to keep a low profile and not be out so much and concentrate on getting my degree, I been going to college."

"That is good so what is it that you are studying? Ashley didn't say anything about that. And is there some boy in your life?"

"First of I'm studying psychology and there is no one in my life, but there is this cute boy that I kind of have a crush on."

"Oh, tell me I need something good, as you know I don't have that much of a life."

"Okay, Spence but no one knows about this and I mean no one. So don't blab about this, I want to tell Ashley myself."

"I promise, scouts honor." Spencer said and held up two fingers to show that she meant it.

"I believe you. So I kind of met this guy at one of my classes. And after we kind of got to get some coffee and then we started to talk and got to know each other."

"That sounds nice so when are you going to ask him out?"

"I'm not doing that."

"Why, come on I know that you want to go out with him so take a chance."

"Okay I can say this much I will ask him for a coffee and then we will see."

"Fine, that is a start but I need to hear more about this later."

"I promise that I will tell you about it."

"Good and after that coffee you will ask him on a date."

"Spence, no." Kyla said and looked a bit sad and then she got an idea. "I know, I will ask him out on a date when you ask Ashley out on one."

"Kyla, no, no, no. That is a no-no. I don't want to lose our friendship and I don't want to rush things we are getting to know each other again."

"There you go Spencer, but I know that you want to go out with her."

"that might be true but as I said I don't want to rush anything and asking her that would put so much more pressure that we don't need on us."

"I know what you mean and there for I don't want to push this thing that might be something with this boy."

"Okay I understand but give me a name." Spencer whined."

"What do you mean; I didn't give you a name?"

"No Kyla, you didn't." Spencer said and pouted just a bit she didn't want to over use that.

"Fine, his name is Kevin."

"Good, good so that means that you and Kevin are going to have coffee soon."

"Yes."

"Great so just one more question. Aiden what happened to him, last time I really talked to any of you the two of you were happy, like really happy."

"Let's not talk about that part of my life but all I can say is that I this girl might run in to him if she gets to the place that she deserves."

"Oh, talking about Jen I see." Spencer said with disgust.

"Well, yes who else would I be talking about."

"But you do know that male and female prisoners don't sit in the same prisons."

"Okay I know that I was more thinking of the place that you say that will freeze over; you know where it's really hot."

"Oh, so are talking about hell."

"Yeah that but the first apart about jail can be a bit right all I know is that he got caught up in some things that weren't that smart to be involved with."

"That somehow sounds a bit like him. So that means that he is in jail or what?"

"As far as I know he is there and won't get out any time soon. Thank god."

"Kyla! Spencer! Everything is done so you can come and eat with us." Glenn yelled at them from the outside.

"So that must mean that we might talk a bit later about all of this." Spencer said, "But now I think that we can go and eat." And they all sat at a table outside at the table and talked to each other and tried to hold the conversation pretty light just so that it wouldn't come up with anything heavy for them to handle this was just about having a bit of fun and getting to know each other again, to know who they are today and not who they were seven years ago.

"Spencer I was just wondering if you have had any problems with photographers today?" Ashley asked, she had tried to be outside today and being in public so that they would focus on her and not Spencer.

"Today wasn't that bad there were some when we left the hospital but that was about it, they didn't fallow us or anything like that but I don't really know how it will be later."

"I understand what you are saying, I hope that it won't be that much of a bother and if it's let me know and I will see what I can do." Ashley said as she looked at Spencer and then on the others around the table just so that they knew that it also applied to them to.

"Thanks a lot for that, we will really appreciate that and you can count on that you will be contacted, in the future about all of this and you are always welcome here if you need to get away from them to." Arthur said to Ashley and when she looked at him she could see that he meant it.

A few hours later it was time for Ashley and Kyla to leave. It had been quiet a day for them all. This day couldn't have ended on a better note then that they both knew that they had begun to build up their old friendships with the Carlins, the whole family and the best thing for them both was that Spencer finally was home and that everything seemed to be fine or on the way at least.

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**AN: please use the button below and leave a review the more review I get the sooner the next chapter will be up. **


	15. Chapter 15

AN: This is the nest chapter of this story, I know that I said that I had chapter 16 ready and the chapter that was supposed to be the 16th is ready but I want to have that as chapter 17 and I haven't written the chapter that is going to be the 16th. But I hope that I can have that chapter written soon, I have an idea on what I want to happen. Just going to have to find a great song to that.

Disclaimer: don't own SoN or the song that in this chapter in Human on the inside with the Pretenders.

Thanks for the feedback and I would love to get some more on this story. I kind of want you all to know what you think and maybe what you want to happen.

I'm working on my other stories to have the ideas for the next two chapters of a summer of soccer and I hope that will be up soon.

Chapter15: Human on the inside

_Well there's blood in these veins  
And I cry when in pain  
I'm only human on the inside  
And if looks can deceive  
Make it hard to believe  
I'm only human on the inside_

Spencer had been home from the hospital for a week and she had really big problems with the paparazzis, they had found out who she was just a couple a days after she had been home. Ashley hadn't been as careful as she thought and some of them had followed her and found pout where Spencer lived. So these days when Spence was walking on the streets, not that she was doing so much of that any way she had a group of photographers around her. And they all wanted to know how she knew Ashley Davies and why the rockstar had been with her at the hospital, asking if she was Davies new girlfriend, all that she could do was laugh about that statement. Spencer didn't understand how stupid they could be, Ashley had made a statement about why she had been with Spencer at the hospital and that they had been friends in high school but the both of them were careful about mentioning that they had been sweet hearts in high school and if they found that there would be even more reports on them.

But at the moment these paparazzis wasn't Spencers' biggest problem or the thing that she worried about the most it was the fact that she didn't know anything about what the psycho bitch would do and no one knew about that little visit at the hospital but it was eating Spencer up from the inside and she really needed to tell someone about that.

All of her friends and her family had been asking her about that why she was feeling afraid and all that she had said was that she felt stressed out about all of the paparazzis that were following her around. In the beginning they all had believed her but at this moment they were all beginning to think that there were something else that bother her. And it was but she didn't know how to tell them. She was afraid that Jen would find out and that she would be in even more trouble with that girl then she already was.

Spencer was building up her courage to tell them what Jen had told her when she had been at the hospital, but she wasn't sure on who she was going to tell. To tell Madison or Ashley wasn't an option at this time, that would just lead to more violence at that she didn't want and telling her mum was an option but she had been really close to Ashley at the moment and that would lead to Ashley finding out. And telling Kyla wasn't an option either she would defiantly tell Ashley. Telling Glen no way he would do the same thing as Ashley trying to find Jen and of course telling Maddie and Ash. At this point there were either going directly to the police or telling her father about this. Spencer made her decision on what she was going to do.

Later that day when Spencer had come home from the little walk she had been on. She had thought about what she was going to do about Jen.

"Dad?" Spence asked.

"what is it honey?" her father asked, he could tell that there were something on his daughters' mind and that it was bugging her but he didn't want to put any pressure in her to tell him about it.

"I kind of wanted to talk to you but I want to do it in private." Spencer told him.

"Sure, why don't we go out to the backside and talk? I'll get us some coffee and maybe some cookies too." He said.

"That sounds great." Spencer said and she walks to the backside and sat down and waited for her father. And he was just a few minutes behind her and he was caring a tray with cookies and coffee.

"So you wanted to talk to me. What was it about?"

Spencer took a sip of her coffee. "I don't really know where to start." Spencer said and took another sip of her coffee.

"Well I think that the beginning would be good."

"It starts about a week ago a couple of days before I left the hospital."

"Okay, so what is it about?"

"Well it was the day that Ash and Maddie had a little run in with Jen."

"Okay, so what is it that you wanted to say about that, Ashley knows that she did the wrong thing when she punched Jen and she has already told you that."

"I know that dad, but that wasn't really what I was thinking about. I kind of knew that they had a run in with that girl before they told me." Spencer said and when she was thinking about what had happened to her that day tears began to form in her eyes but at the moment they weren't falling down her cheeks.

"How?" was the only thing that Arthur asked but he had an idea how Spencer would have known.

"She kind of came and visits me and my room and she said some things to me." Now the tears were falling down Spencers' cheeks.

"What did she say?"

"She told me that she had been attacked by Ashley and Madison and that she wanted to tell me herself before they told me." Spencer said and looked at her father.

"So is that why you have been upset and scared?"

"A part of that but she said some more things."

"What things, if you don't tell me what happened then I can't help you. But take your time"

"I just don't know how to tell you."

"All I can say to you are to take it easy and tell me how you feel and what happened."

"She told me that it was my fault that all of this happened."

"Spencer you know that this wasn't your fault and it will never be your fault. Remember that and never forget that, I and all of us will keep reminding you of that."

"I know that but she also wanted to apologies it was actually after that she said that it was my fault, well not entire my fault but I was also to blame."

"Spence don't ever think anything like that."

"I know dad but that wasn't the thing that I wanted to tell you." Spencer said and tears were at this moment falling down her cheeks.

"What do you mean with that?"

"She, kind of threaten me."

"Spencer you should have told us earlier and we need to tell the police." Arthur said and he himself had tears in his eyes and he wanted to go to the police.

"NO!"

"What do you mean with no?"

"She said that I couldn't tell anyone and if I did she would find out and I would be sorry that I did tell anyone."  
"Spencer we need to tell the police about this, and if you don't I'll go and tell them." And this was the end of this conversation; Spencer didn't want to talk anymore about this.

"Dad just so you know I don't want you to tell anyone and I mean anyone about this." Spencer said just before she walked in through the door. She was on her way to her room; she just wanted to be alone before Ashley would come over.

A few hours later Paula came home and Arthur knew that he needed to tell her what Spencer had told him earlier that day, about what Jen had done then of course Ashley needed to know. But that could go just in any direction, it could backfire on the trust that Ashley and Spencer had been building up during this time.

"Honey, I need to talk to you about something." Arthur said to Paula as they were alone in the kitchen.

"What is it?"

"Well I don't really know where to start." He said and he could feel how Spencer had felt earlier that day when she was telling him about this. He felt really bad about doing this but he knew that he needed to tell his wife what Jen had done to their daughter even if he had promised her that he wouldn't tell anyone.

"From the beginning, maybe?"

"That is good, but you need to promise me that you won't get upset and yell."

"I think I can do that."

"It's about Spencer."

"What do you mean, is she feeling worse, do we need to take her back to the hospital?" Paula said and the questions were just pouring out from her.

"I don't think so but at this moment she is feeling a bit down but I think that it's going to be okay, we just need to support her in any way that we can."

"Okay just tell me what it is."

"Jen was at the hospital and said some things that weren't that good to her. There were some threats that Jen said to Spencer."

"What?!"

"Jen threaten Spencer at the hospital, if I understood Spencer right it was the same day as Ashley and Madison ran into that girl."

"We need to go to the police right now." Paula said and she was furious not at her husband or at Spencer but at the girl that claimed that she loved her daughter.

"I know what you are saying but I told Spencer that if she won't go tomorrow with us then we are going alone, I think that it's too much for her to do that know and tell the police the same thing."

"Okay but tomorrow, but then if she won't go with us how can we make any charges against that little…I don't know what I should call her."

"I understand but we need to support her, this is hard for her and then we have one more problem."

"What is that, I mean it's not enough with that little… threaten our daughter?"

"Of course that is enough of a problem but I was thinking of a certain brunette that I know won't be happy and maybe even go after Jen this time."

"Ashley?"

"Yes. I don't know how or who or even if we should tell her." Arthur sighed.

"I'll do it." Paula said she knew that there was no other option at this time they needed to tell Ashley what had happened to Spencer.

Ashley had joined the Carlins' so that she and Spencer could talk and do something together, they had talked about watching some movie and do some more banding but at the time Ashley didn't know about Jen and when the night was over she would have found out.

"So Spence, what are you think about?"  
"What do you mean?"

"You have been a bit preoccupied during this week."

"Nothing much just how grateful I am that I have such good friends and that I have been able to leave the hospital. " Spencer said, but Ashley could tell that this was far from the truth but she didn't want to push Spencer at the moment.

"Okay but let's see what movie we're going to watch tonight."

"I don't know what we should see. Why don't you choose some movie?"

"Sure but are you sure that you want me to choose, if I remember correct you don't always like my choices in movies."

"Okay so you might be right there but at the moment I don't know what I want to watch."

"Fine Spence, but remember you will watch whatever I choose."

"Yes, Ash I'll watch whatever you choose." Spencer said but as soon as she had said those words she began to regret what she just had said.

'_What are we gonna choose, nothing to violent that will just upset her and that is something that we don't want. That leaves us with some comedy that is it and then maybe some Disney or something.' _Ashley thought to herself.

"I know what we're going to watch Spence." Ashley said.

"Okay so what is it then?"

"I was thinking, 'A Sharks' tale'"

"I like that movie." Spencer said.

"Then I thought that we could see 'Mamma Mia'." Ashley said and looked at Spencer.

"Ash, Mamma Mia? Are you sure of that?"

"Yes, I am."

"You do know that it is a musical and I know that you don't like those."

"I know but I like music."

"And there for we are watching Mamma Mia."

"Yes?"

"Really?"

"Fine. I have this tiny, tiny guilty pleasure."

"And that is." Spencer was really trying to get Ashley to confess that she liked Abba. The huge rockstar confessing she is liking this band, one of the biggest in the world.

"Do you really want to hear it?"

"Yes, please say it." Spencer said and tilted her head and pouted just a bit with her lower lip, sure she was 25 but that face just had the same effect on Ashley that it always had.

"Aaaaaah, fine, Abbas' songs is amazing have you ever just read the lyrics, they are just so simple but at the same time so on the spot. And not to speak of the composing of the music." Ashley began to say but she was cut off by Spencer.

"Ash that is enough, I just wanted to hear you say that you liked Abba." Spencer said and began to laugh, it felt great for the both of them at the moment to hear Spencer laugh, it was something that she didn't do that much.

"You just keep laughing; I just might have forgotten to mention that we also were going to watch something scary." Ashley said and began to laugh even more.

"I hate you so much right now." Spencer said and looked at Ashley but her eyes gave her away.

"Love you too."

After their friendly banter they began to watch the movies and they had a laugh and had a lot of fun. During there moviethon* there were some more of their banter, and some popcorn war at the time. During the last movie Spencer fell asleep and that was the opportunity that Paula had been looking for she wanted to so that she could talk to the brunette. Paula walked in to the livingroom so that she could talk to Ashley, more like ask her to come with her so that they could talk. Spencer was sleeping and she had curled up with Ashley, and hides her face in the crook of Ashleys' neck.

"Ashley, could I have a word with you?" Paula asked and looked at her.

"Of course, talk to me."

"I was hoping that we could be more in private, I don't want to wake Spencer and it is kind about her and I don't want her to know that we both know." Paula said.

"Sure, I'll just try to get out from here without waking her and then I'll be in the kitchen with you."

"Good, I'll get us some coffee or tea."  
"I'll take some tea." Ashley said, "by the way do you happen to have any brownies?" She asked with a huge smile on her lips.

"I think that we might have." Paula said and smiled to Ashley, she had heard about the first time that Ashley almost had said that she loved Spencer. Slowly Ashley began to get off the sofa just so that she wouldn't wake Spencer up; she knew that Spencer needed the sleep at the moment. They all knew that Spencer hadn't been sleeping that good since she came home from the hospital.

"So what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Well it has to do with Spencer. We kind of found out something to day that we don't really know how to react to."

"Okay, so is it something bad?" Ashley asked.

"I think so." Paula said and when she was thinking about what Arthur had told her earlier she didn't know how to explain and tell the girl in front of her, she had been through a lot lately and this would just be one more thing to bear on.

"So what is it that is so bad?"

"Like I said it had to do with Spencer." Paula said and Ashley just nodded to show that she was with her. And Paula continued, "I and Arthur found out today from Spencer, well more like Arthur was told by Spencer that Jen had been to the hospital."

"What that little bitch, she promised me that she wouldn't set her foot on that hospital, well more like never to contact Spencer." Ashley said and the look in her eyes at this moment was something that you couldn't put to words, her eyes were just black with anger and maybe even hate.

"Okay, just calm down Ash, don't wake Spencer, she doesn't know that I know. And she won't be happy if she finds out that we know and that she wasn't the one to tell us."

"Okay." Ashley said and took a deep breath. "What happened?"

"As far as I know, Jen was at the hospital and told Spencer her about the confrontation that you had with her. And after that she had said something to Spencer about if she told anyone about all of this it would get back at her. I don't really know the extent of all of this, all I know is that she threatened Spencer not to tell anyone." Paula said and tears began to fall down her cheeks she had never cried earlier that day about all of this, it was just too much and all that Ashley could do was stand up and give the older woman a hug.

"I promise that we will get an answer to all of this." Ashley said and tears were slowly falling down her cheeks, and this was the time that she understood why Spencer had been so preoccupied. "Do the police know?"

"Arthur said that he would take Spencer down to the station tomorrow and if she won't go with him he will go by himself."

"That is good." And after that she had said this, she realized what the marks on Spencer neck had been when she had walked in to the room that day. "Oh my God." Was all that she could manage to say at the moment.

"What?" Paula asked.

"That little bitch just needs to realize that she is messing with the wrong person."

"I think that you need to elaborate that just a bit more." Paula said, she couldn't really understand what Ashley had meant.

"That day when we got to Spencers' room I saw some marks on Spencers' neck but I didn't think more about that at the time. I just realized that Jen must have given them to Spencer, it looked like strangle marks, like someone had put some kind of pressure around her neck."

"That is it the police is going to know and you are going with Arthur and Spencer tomorrow and tell the police what you think and that you saw those marks on her neck."

"Sure."

The next day they were all going down to the police station, to talk to an officer about this, and they had to drag Spencer down. Just so that she could tell them what Jen had done to her and as she was telling her story, she had Ashley sitting with her.

Spencer hadn't been happy that morning when she had found out that her father had told her mother that had told Ashley about what Jen had done, but right know she was happy about the fact that Ashley knew. Ashley was one of the few people that she trusted at the time being.

When the police had heard Spencers' story about what had happened at the hospital they knew that they needed to get this girl, Jen in custody as soon as possible and get a DA on this case so that Spencer and her family would get the closure that they needed.

"So Miss Carlin do you have any idea where we could find this Miss Greenfield?"

"I'm sorry but I have no idea, when she came to the hospital I hadn't heard a thing from her since the night that we got into that argument or what I should call it."

"Do you know where her parents live, any friends that might help her?"

"All I know about her family is that she comes from a small town in Kansas. Friends well it could be anyone that owns her anything, she kind of collect her debts when she needs them and there are a lot of people that owns her. She even knew about what I had told the police when I first contacted you about the assault. She must have someone on the inside that tells her what happens with my case."

"That is not possible, there aren't that many officers involved in this case and I know all of them personally and they wouldn't do that."

"Okay Officer Keyes, can you say that there is no one on this station or in this district that won't do that?" Ashley asked, Spencer was grateful at that moment that Ashley would ask something like that.

"Well, that is something that I can't be sure of but they all know the rules."

"As I said when I was younger, officer, the rules are meant to be broken." Ashley said.

"Okay, I understand what you are saying Ms Davies but would you please not get a head. I promise that I will cheek on which of the officers that have been looking on this case file and see who has been in that and then I'll see if there is someone that isn't suppose to be looking at that have been and then I'll tell you."

"Okay but you need to understand that this is important that no one knows about this and that we somehow can keep this classified until you have this bitch at custody. I don't want her to know that Spencer has told the police about what happened on the hospital."

"That is clear. I'm going to be the only one that knows about this." Officer Keyes said.

"Great, so this was all." Ashley asked.

"That is true, so the both of you can leave, but please leave some kind of contact information so that we can contact you if we find out anything more."

"That is great, but I think that you can contact the Carlins and then they will let me know." Ashley said.

"That can work."

And with that they all left that little interrogation room. And Spencer was happy that she had told her dad and that he and her mum and of course Ashley had forced her down to the station. Know she knew that she had her friends and her family that she could rely on and let them know when something is bothering her and that they won't judge her and that they are just her to help her in any way that can.

"Spencer just so you know, I'll always be by your side and I promise that I won't leave your side until Jen is behind bars." Ashley said and gave Spencer a hug; she had always known when Spencer needed someone close to her.

"I know, I know but some day I need to begin to live by myself again." Spencer said to Ashley as the hugged each other.

*AN: don't know if that is a word but, it's a movie marathon


	16. Chapter 16

AN: I know that this story is taking some time to move forward, but I don't want to rush anything.

But I have some trouble writing the rebuilding of their friendship but I promise that it will be shown in some way. It could be in the present or in the form of flashbacks in later chapters.

I just want to say thanks to the one that has left reviews and have read this story.

**LoveAsh87:** I had to make them do something to make Spencer understand what she had to do. I hope this chapter is as good as the last one.

**Coachkimm:** I know, that ABBA rocks, you can't say anything else. I don't think that there is anyone that writes music that can deny that ABBA has on some level been an inspiration. I'm from Sweden so I can say that most of the songwriters in Sweden mentions them as an inspiration.  
I would say that ABBA is like the Swedish version of the Beatles or something like that. You can't say it out loud that you don't like them; people would look funny at you.

Disclaimer: don't own SoN that you already know and the song is of course I've been thinking about you by London beat, not a Swedish group but it will soon come some Swedish groups. All I'm saying is that ABBA is a head of us, you are more than welcome to guess what song I'm thinking of, all I can say is that it's the title and one line in the song that I'm thinking of.

I hope that you all will like this, I had a hard time writing this but the next chapter is ready as you all read this.

**Chapter 16: I've been thinking about you**

_I feel so in love_

_Oh, baby, what can I do?_

_I've been thinking about you._

_I've been thinking about you_

_I've been thinking about you_

_I've been thinking about you, shi-pow-pow!_

It had been two months since the day that Spencer and Ashley had been at the station to report what had happen with Jen.

It hadn't been that much of development in this case, and that was something that was tearing all of them apart, not just Spencer and Ashley. Spencer had slowly began to live a little, she had been outside of the house for a couple of hours every day and that was a good experience at most day but it was days when she couldn't get around because of all of the paprazzis that are following her around, but it's better now than it was at first, they had finally realized that just because they were following her around didn't mean that they would be seeing Ashley.

During these months something had happened in Spencer mind, she was being to think about her friend in a way that she never thought that she would do ever again and it was getting harder and harder not to do anything about that fact but she knew that this wasn't the time to say anything, to jeopardizes the friendship that had been slowly rebuilding and still was under construction was not something that she wanted to do by saying or doing something that she would regret later on.

Most days were the same, going to breakfast with her friends or at home with her parents. Watching some TV and the lunch most of the time with Madison or Kyla, it wasn't that often she had lunch with Ashley. If there were anything that she missed it was being able to go out with her friend for lunch but every time that happened they had a tail of paparazzis around them so talking wasn't anything they could do.

Ashley time meant talking on the phone or just having movie nights, it was something that they did regularly, once a week and that was almost the foundation these days to their friendship. That was the feeling Spencer had but it was better than nothing but she knew that if it would progress she needed to do something else and that was what she was going to do.

Ashley was sitting at Kylas' apartment and trying to figure out what she was going to do, she had been trying to figure out something she could do with Spencer.

The truth was that she was bored on all of these movie nights, she wanted something new, but she also knew that going out on a club to dance wasn't a good idea and that was the only thing that kept popping up in her head.

"Ky, I need your help." Ashley whined and she knew that her sister would help her if she asked enough and whined and tried everything, and that included begging on her knees but she hope that I wouldn't be going there but she never knew with Kyla.

"Ashe, what do you need my help with this time? Picking out a movie for you and Spencer?" Kyla asked but she also knew that this was something else.

"Well, I was hoping that I could think about do something else. Not a movie, I mean we have been doing that like all the time and I want something else for a change."

"I understand. So what do you want to do?" Kyla asked, this was new for her too. Ashley wanted to do something nice for Spencer.

"Well I don't know that is why I'm asking you. I thought we could do some brainstorming." Ashley said and she looked like she was about to break down.

"So what have you come up with so far?" Kyla asked her sister she could tell that this was really important to Ashley and she needed to do something.

"the only thing that I keep getting in my head is clubbing, you know dancing and drinking but I know that it's too soon for Spencer." Ashley said.

"Ash, I can't believe that you haven't thought about one thing. I mean it just so obvious that you should do that." Kyla said and looked at her sister as she was an idiot for not thinking about it. Everyone knew that this was the perfect thing for them if they wanted to make their friendship stronger. Ashleys' look as Kyla said this was priceless; it couldn't even be put into words.

"What?" Ashley asked and she really tried to think about what it was that Kyla was getting at. When Ashley still didn't get, Kyla was about to break down and that was when the phone rang.

"Hello." Kyla said, she hadn't looked too see who it was that was calling.

"Hi Kyla."

"Hey Spencer." when Ashley heard who it was that Kyla was on the phone with she knew that she wanted to talk to Spencer.

"I was just wondering if I could talk to Ashley, if she is there, she didn't answer her cell."

"Of course but could I talk for you for a minute or two before you talk to her."

"I think so." Spencer answered Kyla.

"Good, I'll just tell Ashley that before handing her the phon." Kyla said. "Hey, Ash. I'm going to talk to Spencer for a minute then I promise that you'll talk to her."

"Okay, just hand me the phone we phone when you're done." Ashley said.

"Sure." Kyla said to Ashley. "Sorry about that Spence."

"Not a problem I kind of understand. So what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Well, Ashley was asking me about help about something."

"that isn't something new." Spencer said and laughed, Kyla heard that and she was happy that Spencer once again was making jokes and laughing, that was something that they all have missed and it was something she was doing more and more every day.

"that is right Spencer but it just that it was that she wanted to do something with you that didn't include some movie." Kyla said and tried to let Spencer know what Ashley was up to.

"That was the reason I was calling to I was just going to ask if she would like to go to the beach with me later today instead of a movie, just so that we could sit and talk."

"Well, that was the thing she can't think of anything, so if just could get her some hints so that she knows what she could do. Like mentioning something that you two used to do at the beach, and you know what I mean. I know that it would help her and please let her think that she got this idea herself."

"I'll try to do that."

"That is great. I think she needs some ego busting about know, I tried to tell her but she didn't get it maybe if you try it will help." Kyla said.

"Great, just give Ash the phone and I'll get this plan into motion and hope that she gets the idea and don't tell me." Spencer said and with that Kyla handed the phone over to her sister.

"Hey, Spence. Just so you know I've missed you." Was the first thing that Ashley said.

"Well, I missed you too so why don't we do something tonight?"

"I would love that. Not to make you sad or anything but I don't feel like a movie."

"I don't feel like to watch a movie too. So what would you say about meeting up somewhere and just talk. Just like we used to do before all of this happened."

"Yeah that is great, so what time should we meet?"

"What about 7ish, then we can have something to eat too." Spencer said and she could hear on Ashley voice that she was planning something.

"That sounds great." And as Ashley said this she got an idea on what she was going to do. "Spencer, just wait a sec, what about I'll get you at your house then you don't have to think about where we will go and then not bother someone else about a ride."

"that sounds like a plan, so I'll see you later to night"

Later that night Ashley was just running around she didn't know what she was doing she had been this for the last couple of hours and it was just getting worse and worse the closer the time was to seven when she was going to get Spencer. She had all of this planed out, planed in Ashleys' way, should be added and that meant it could go in two completely different directions, it could be a new world record or it could really back fire, and she being disqualified.

Ashley was driving to the Carlin house and she was just as nervous as she had been the first time she was taking Spencer out for a date and this wasn't even a date.

As she walked up to the door to knock she saw that the door opened and Spencer walked out she knew that she should be dressed in something comfortable and casual. And if that was something that Spencer had done that was it but, she looked beautiful but then again in Ashleys' eyes Spencer could be wearing garbage bag and still look beautiful.

"so where is we going?" Spencer asked as she walked up to Ashley.

"uhm… we are going to… umh…" Ashley didn't know what she was going to say she lost her words and that didn't happen that often.

"As much as I like you not talking a prefer you talking normal and not just mumbling and losing words." Spencer joked.

"Well Ms Carlin that is going to be a surprise for you but I know that you are going to like it." Ashley said.

"well then Ms Davies why don't we just get going so that I can get my surprise?"

"that's it lets hit the road." Ashley said and with that they left.

They stopped the car at the beach and that was when Spencer had this idea on what Ashley was going to do but she didn't want to spoil the whole plan that she knew that Ashley had mad.

Ashley just grabbed something from the trunk of the car. And after that they began to walk together and to get to their special place, or so that was Spencer was thinking that they would be at. And if I turned out to be so, it was a great idea. That meant that Ashley still remembered and wanted to have their friendship back to like what it was before they were together and broke up.

That was better than nothing, and Spencer was going to take that before anything else. She wanted Ashley in her life somehow and it looked like this was the only way it was possible and she was going to do that.

Ashley was having some similar thoughts, she couldn't believe that she hadn't thought about this before she talked to Spencer, it was Spence that had given her the idea of the beach even it was just something that Spencer had said about talking like they used to. The beach was special to them and every one that knew that knew that.

Soon the two of the where at the place that meant so much for them, under a pier, it was where Spencer had said it out loud that she liked girls and she was sure and it was the place that Ashley had told Spencer that she was in love with her. It was a place that most of their important steps in their relationship and friendship had taken place. There for Ashley had the thought that this was the place that she was going to start of their friendship again and it would be real.

"So where here. I hope that you like this." Ashley said.

"I can't believe that you remember this." Spencer said and looked at Ashley.

"why wouldn't I, I remember all of it." Ashley said and when she was thinking about all that had happened between them and how much they have missed during these years both of them knew that they didn't want to miss anything more but nothing would be rushed.

They had a feeling where all of this was going to end up, but the most important thing was that they were going to still be friends and then they would see where it would go.

"I'm glad that you remember this. I was kind of hoping that we were going to end up here." Spencer confessed.

"Well then I'm glad that I did this." Ashley said and laid out a blanket so that they could be sitting and talking and that was when Spencer saw that there were something more than just the blanket.

It was a basket, a picnic basket to be more exact.

This was a far as from the Ashley once knew would do, maybe after all it was something more to this than just talking but deep down Spencer knew that nothing would happen tonight, she herself wasn't ready for that. There would never be a chance at this point that Ashley would do anything that she didn't think that Spencer was ready for.

All of this was just so that the once again would be friends.

"so am I, so am I." Spencer said.

"So what are we going to do?" Ashley asked.

"Well I think a good idea would be to talk."

"that is true and but I don't know what we could talk about."Ashley said and she was honest about that she had no idea.

But it didn't take them long until this silence that was between them after that was gone, they were talking about anything that they could think about but there were some things that they chose to leave out at the moment. Neither of them was ready to talk about those think things at the moment but it was something that they would discuss later on. It might be later tonight but it was not likely to happen.

A few hours later an apologize was uttered from one of the girls.

"I'm sorry. I should have called you or visit you before all of this happened."

"I don't know if that is true. You do know that all that happened between us wasn't just your fault, it was mine to."

"Spence, you can't mean that. In the end I was neglecting you and you just told me that I needed to make a decision and some here on the way to making that I lost myself." Ashley said.

"Ash, I know that you would have made the right decision if I wouldn't have pushed you. I know that I made a mistake that cost us more than our relationship."

"I don't see it that way, you didn't push me, you told me to make my mind up and somewhere on the way on making that I lost the connection with the real world."

"Okay, fine so you are right." Spencer said even if she still wasn't sure about that, she still felt like she had a bit of a blame for what happened with them.

"Great that you finally can admit that I'm right. But there is one more thing that I wanted to tell you."

"Okay so tell me. You do know that you can tell me anything. Right Ash?" Spencer said and she had this feeling that Ashley didn't know that she could tell her anything that she wanted. Spencer knew that she wasn't going anywhere soon, not when she finally had Ashley back in her life.

"Spence, the worst thing with the decision that I made wasn't that our relationship ended even if that was bad, the worst thing was that I at the same time lost my best friend, the only person that I trusted at that point in my life." Ashley said and tears were slowly falling down her cheeks. That was a confession that she hadn't planned on making tonight.

Spencer knew that there was only one thing that she could do at this point. She moved a bit closer to Ashley and placed her arms around the brunette, so that she could hold her tight.

"Ash, I'm not going anywhere." Spencer whispered in Ashleys' ear, trying to show her how much the girl meant to her, and after that Spencer dry the tears away with her thumbs just like she had done so many times before.

"Ashley, just keep breathing and as I told you before, I won't go anywhere. Not now not ever, I need you." Spencer said to the girl that she was holding.

Ashley felt much better at this point, she had heard how honest Spencer had been at she had once herself told Spencer the same. It was like they were depended on each other.

Ashley drove them back home. She knew that this had been a long night for both of them and a lot that happened tonight was things that they hadn't been ready to talk about but it somehow had happened and on some level she was glad that it had happened.

They could now move forward, they had made it passed the step that had been holding them back from each other even if they didn't know that just yet.

A couple of days later and Spencer and Ashley had been talking much more than they had done before the night on the beach, they were texting. They were really trying to build that friendship again and it was somehow easier than they had thought it would be. It was almost like they were back in high school once again. They acted that way, they were whispering to one another like no one knew what was going on.

Both of them were happy and it was just great and everyone around them could tell that the both of them were so much happier and on some level, they all knew that it was because of what they have been talking about that night on the beach. But no one besides Ashley and Spencer knew what that was and it would stay that way for a long time. They would tell the people around them when they were ready for that.

If you didn't know Spencer and Ashley, you would say that they acted like a couple that just had gotten together and their friends and family knew that it was there the girls would end up if they just once again would be able to open up their hearts one more time. When that happened it would be for the last time they would need to do that to someone, it would be forever.


	17. Chapter 17

AN. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing and this will be the next part of this story.

And at the moment it 8-10 chapters left including this, it all depends on how I'll answer the questions that is unanswered at the moment.

Disclaimer: not SoN and not the songs that are in this chapter. First song is Baby when you're gone by Bryan Adams, in this song he has some help from Mel C. The rest of the songs I'll tell you at the end of the chapter.

**LoveAsh87:** Thanks and this is the next part.

**Coachkimm:** hope this is soon enough. Abba will come to play in the chapters soon. And thanks for the suggestions on the songs, they will come on time and there will be one more song from Abba, that chapter will be a bit of a flashback of their high school time, don't want to give too much away.

**hugbuddy13:** thanks, something sweet was needed and this might not be as sweet but it will lead up to something…

This chapter is longer than my chapter normally is and there will be some more persons that are introduced, I hope that it won't be to confusing, if it is let me know.

**Chapter 17: Baby when you're gone**

_Baby when you're gone, I realize I'm in love  
days go on and on, and the nights just seem so long  
Even food don't taste that good, drink ain't doing what it should  
things just feel so wrong, baby when you're gone_

**Three months later**

_**Ashleys' POV**_

I kind of told Spencer about five months ago that I wouldn't leave her before the police had Jen in custody but now I have to leave her and this feel anything but good. I don't know why it feels so strange to leave her. One of the worst things with all of this is that I'm not sure on how long I'm going to be gone and I'm leaving in the morning and but the worst thing with all of this is that I have known for awhile and I haven't told Spencer anything about this yet. So knowing this a long time plus nit telling Spencer equals bad, very bad. That is why I'm standing her outside her bedroom door thinking about how I'm going to tell her that I need to leave and go to New York.

_Knock, knock_

"Come in." I heard a voice say, okay that means that Spencer is awake and that I need to talk to her and tell her all of this, shit. And with those as my last thoughts I walk in to Spencers' room.

"hey Spence."

"Hi Ash." She said and engulfed me in to one of her big hugs. I'm going to miss those when I'm I the big apple.

"so I kind of need to talk to you about something." Okay here it goes just do it the same way that ypu do with a band aid, rip it off as fast as you can, in this case just tell her straight.

"Okay." She said and she kind of stretched the word.

Fast and no lying just the truth and this will go great, and no chicken out, tell her, Ash, just tell her.

"here is the thing, IneedtogotoNewYork." I said and I can tell by the look in her eyes that she didn't really catch what I said, maybe it was just tiny winy bit too fast for her to understand.

"Okay Ash I know that you sometimes talk really fast but I'm not that good in translate Ashley to English so cam you say that last part in English, please." She said and pouted and looked at me looked at me with those puppy eyes, I hate her now. Not really but I need to focus.

"I said that I need to go to New York." Wow I said it and I didn't chicken out that is good.

"okay, so when are you leaving." She asked, I could tell that she thought that it was in like a week or something like that.

"tomorrow." I mumbled to her, I don't think she heard, then I looked up at her and I saw that she had heard.

"tomorrow?" she asked and she was shocked, I would be that to if someone said something like that to me.

"yes, I'm sorry."

"so how long have you known." Dam it how the hell does she know that I have known for awhile, wait a minute, shit I shouldn't have apologized, that is the only reason that she knows. I'm so dead.

"a week?! And you tell me now, what were you thinking?"

"yes a week. I wasn't thinking." I tried to say and look at her with the most innocent eyes that I could, that doesn't work, Spence is the only one that can do that.

"why didn't you tell me?" She said and she was beginning to form tears in her eyes, no Spence don't dry, if you cry then I'll cry and I don't want to cry.

"I didn't know what to say and then today I realized that I'm leaving tomorrow morning and that I hadn't told and I knew that I needed to do that."

"okay. So how long are you going to be gone?"

"that is the problem I don't really know how long I'm going to be gone for but at least one week."

"So what are you doing in New York?"

"it has something to do with my record deal and I think that they want some kind of explanation to why I cut my tour short from me and then also when I'm starting on my next album."

"Okay so that is a good thing right?"

"well I think so but you are going to be okay when I'm gone, right?

"As far as I know and I call you and you call me and then we can text. But I think that it is a good thing that you are going to New York." She said, that was something that I didn't expect to hear from her. not after she almost cried when I told her that I was going to NY.

"what do you mean by that?" I just had to ask her so that I would know what she meant.

"I know that it's going to be really really sad that you won't be here but I think that it's time that you go back to your life that you had before all of this happened. I know that you miss it and don't try to tell me otherwise."

"fine Spence so you are right but I'm still going to miss you a lot."

"I'll miss you too but you will be back before you even know it."

"you're right but I should go I kind of need to pack a bit before I leave."

"I understand but call me later."

"that's is something that I'll do." And with those words I left so that I could begin to prepare my little trip to NY. This is going to be along week or so.

**Three days later**

_**Ashleys' POV**_

I literally hate this I have been away from LA and Spencer for three days and this sucks. That is all that I can say to describe this whole ordeal. I still don't understand why I should be here to record some songs that they want me to. I know that I could have done that in LA. I have yet to talk to those big shots at the label about my canceled tour sure it was over six months ago that happened and now is the time that they want to talk to me about that, I now know for sure that they don't know anything about that.

Why do I feel so lonely when I have a lot of people around me, I mean I can't be missing Spencer that much, we are just friends nothing more and I mean I can't be in love with her, can I? No I'm sure I'm not and I repeat not in love with Spencer.

"Ashley Davies, you need to go to that meeting with the chiefs and they want a real answer to why you canceled the tour and why you want go on a new one any time soon. Not the one that I told them that you just realized something that you were too young to understand at the time." Ben said my assistant.

"then they might have a slight problem with that. But hey you know me I will so get them to understand all of this and they should know what I've been up to." I said to him.

"Okay I don't really understand that but you must be pretty sure of that you can explain."

"I am, I have been with my friend that was hurt badly. She was at the hospital for a long while even in a coma. It was plastered all over the tabloids."

"that was it, you're right. They should know. So?"

"when am I not right? And what do you mean so?"

"So is this friend the one that you were talking about back in London?"

"She might have been." Ashley said and smiled, it was one of those nose wrinkling smiles that no one really saw, or it had been long since someone that she worked with had seen one, if they ever had seen one.

"okay so I know that she is the girl. So does she know that you're in love with her?" Ben said and grinned really big. Does he know something that I don't know? I hate him, not really but I have to say that he is just so annoying at the moment.

"I'm not in love with Spencer! I'm not." I yelled a bit too fast and denied it a tiny-winy bit too much for him to believe it. I know that.

"you are so in love with her."

"not." I said I needed him to understand really bad that I wasn't in love with Spencer.

"are." Ben said again, so I know that this is going to go on for a while and I know that he won't give up until I confess but I won't do that, cause it's not true.

"not." I said and this is so not fun why he can't realize that we just are messing with each other and I won't lose this one.

"not."

"are." I said, wait a minute crap. Why does he always do that, I always get caught on that one. "I so hate you right now."

"you love me and you love her, Ashley." He said.

"I have to go." And with those words I left the room, just so that I can get to that meeting and hopefully think about something else.

"hello Ms. Davies I think that they are waiting for you in the conferenceroom." The assistant said to me I think that her name is Jessica or something like that.

"thank you and I hope that it won't take that long." I said to her and smiled and with that I walked in to the room and there they sat Mr. Cassidy and Mr. Carlton, I so don't like them at the moment. They are kind of pressuring me, well not directly me but through Ben.

"So here she is Ashley Davies." Mr. Cassidy said. I'm so screwed at this moment; I can see that in his eyes and also in his colleagues' eyes. This isn't good.

"Well here I am so what is it that you wanted to talk to me about." I asked even thou I think that I already know but I want them to tell me.

"I think that you know." Mr. Carlton said. Oh this will be good, I think to myself.

"Well I do have my idea what it can be about but please enlighten me." I say this is so my game to play, but I want to go back to LA as soon as I can, hold on where did that come from.

"as you wish Ms. Davies. Why the hell did you cancel your tour and why won't you do any more concerts?"

"The answer to the first one you already know I told Ben to tell you and as far as I know he did. He told me that he did."

"he said something about finding something that you had lost."

"that is right I went back home to talk to a friend that I lost and that I wanted back in my life. And to explain more about that, you should already know about that it has been plastered all over the tabloids and even on some of the news."

"so that you were at a hospital visiting someone is true."

"yes, and you do know that it's not that hard to pick up the phone and call if you want to know more, right?"

"Well we kind of tried to do that but you didn't pick up your phone."

"you could have left a message." I said and I was pretty mad at this point.

"Ashley, we did that but you didn't call us back. I know that both Ben and Ethan tried to get in touch with you but you didn't talk to them to. There for you can't blame us for this."

"Fine so the phone works both ways but let's not talk about that."

"That sound like a good idea. So the whole thing about the hospital was true but we would like to know more about that. For example why she was there and why it took you this long to get on a plane and talk to us?"

"I think it took so long cause I wanted to be sure that Spencer would be fine on her own."  
"Okay that seems like a pretty good reason but I don't think that you should have done that." Mr. Carlton said at this time I'm not that happy with him, he don't understand that Spencer is important to me. I wonder if anyone knows how important she really is.

"that is your opinion but you might to know something more, she was in a coma for a pretty long time and before that she had some kind of cardiac arrest. That was all because she her now ex didn't understand what something and don't understand the word no."

"I'm sorry to hear that but that doesn't mean that you can put your career on hold because of a friend that is in the hospital."

"I think that I can do that and I did choose to do that and that wasn't all her ex didn't just beat her but the ex came to the hospital and threaten her so there for I didn't want to leave her before I knew that the police had everything under control but they don't have it under control." I could feel how the anger began to boil inside of me and this wasn't a good sign and I knew that I was showing this to the people that I was in the meeting with.  
"Okay just take it easy Ashley. Just try to calm down a little, just take a deep breath and if that don't help take one more." Jessica said she was some kind of assistant to either Carlton or Cassidy. I did as she told me and it calmed me down a little just so that we could continue this, I hate this.

"So Ashley we know a bit what you have been through and that means that we can begin to record the next album and begin plan another tour and what you can do for your fans that didn't have a chance to see the concert that you so nicely canceled." Cassidy said, I so don't like him at this moment and Carlton isn't any better he is just sitting there and nodding.

"I can begin to write some songs but to record it will take a while for that but when the songs are finished I can do that as long as I do it in LA."

"That sounds fair but we need something to give to the fans."

"I do think that I have some unreleased songs or you should have them, produce an EP or something like that or some kind of concert DVD. How the hell should I know, I'm not the one in charges here." This isn't helping me.

"Okay we will figure something out and then the tour, to the next album."

"I'm not going on a tour, I told Ben that I have one more concert to give and that is something that I still think. I will give that concert when I'm ready for that and I will tell you when that happens. At this moment all I can say is that it will happen when Spencer is by my side and not just as a friend."

"I don't understand what you mean?" Carlton said, he must be joking, they do know that I'm gay right, so I have to spell it out for them that Spencer is like the one, the one that I lost, the one that got away.

"Excuse, I don't mean to interrupt but I do think I know what Ashley is talking about." Jessica said, finally someone in this room that owns a brain.

"what?!" Cassidy said, you don't have to be so rude, was all I could think.

"What I think that Ashley was trying to say is that Spencer is important to her and she wants to make sure that Spencer can be by her said and that she won't have to be worried about Spencer while she is on stage." Jessica said, I was right she has a brain I would really like to have her, as one of my assistants. Hello I just said that Spencer is the one, oh what did that come from, and that was new.

"I so don't want to have this discussion right now, so here is the deal take it or leave it, I will write some songs when I get back to LA and when I think that I have enough I'll book a studio so that I can record. After that when I feel ready and Spencer I'll tell you what date I want to have that concert and where." I said and I began to rise from my chair to show them that I meant this it was up to them at this moment what they wanted to do. This just felt so good.

"Ashley we understand what you are saying, but you need to stay here for a bit longer we need to discuss this further, not with you. So we will call you when we have reached a decision on this so stay in New York for at least a week more." Cassidy said, I so don't like him, but what other choice do I have at this point.

"Fine." And with that I left this wasn't my finest moment but it was necessary, we didn't come anywhere so that was the only option I could think of at this point.

_**Spencers' POV**_

I still can't believe that she had to leave to go to New York, why couldn't they have flown out here. I thought that she was this huge rockstar and she has to leave this isn't fair.

But then again when is life fair, it has been three days and I feel like a mess sure we have been talking and texting but it's not the same. I just thought that we had something going and I think that she felt that to and now she is gone.

I hate it when she is gone, I have tried everything but as soon as I turn on the radio, the play one of her songs or even worse a song that somehow reminds me of her. that really drives me crazy. The worst part is that I can't fall asleep, I do sleep but I can't really rest, she knew when I went to bed and she always called me and talked to me until I fell asleep, it was like we were back to High School, well almost.

I tried to talk to my parents about this but they couldn't do anything no one could I think there must be something more that I can't point my finger at, I feel lost without Ashley here. But she should be back in less than a week.

Buzz, buzz

I got a message, this should be good, I know that it is from Ash. I don't know why but I know it's her but it feel like it not anything good.

_**Atxt: **__Spence, I'm so sry. Can I call u._

I told you it wasn't any good.

_**Stxt:**__ sure I'm home. Call._ I sent the message and I didn't take long before I heard her ringtone go of,

_**Show me love, show me life, Baby show me what it's all about, You're the one that I ever needed**_

Okay so I know that was kind of cheesy but hey I have been through a lot and I need cheesy.

"hello" I said

"_is this Spencer?"_

"that depends on who is asking"

"_rockstar protégé Ashley Davies would love to speak to a miss Spencer Carlin in person, it is kind of important."_ I couldn't help but to laugh at this but I just had to play along

"Well this is Spencer. So what how come that I have the honor of speaking to the princesses of rock."

"_Hey, I thought that I was the protégé not the princesses, and if I'm royal I'm the queen. But I wanted to talk it's important. But I would have loved to talk about this instead but I can't do that."_

"okay Ash, so speak. We don't want to waste any time at this small talk. As the say time is money"

"_Spence, don't joke like that, but speaking of time."_

"you're coming home earlier."

"_Not really…"_ when Ashley said that I knew that she would be gone longer than a week, why most everything is so hard on us, well there is no us at the moment but I know that it will be soon.

"okay so tell me what it's fast just like when you rip of a band aid, then it won't hurt. And Ash no, and I mean no sugar coding it"

"_So I told them that they need to make a decision on what they wanted to do"_

"Ashley Davies, come to the point."

"_I need to stay another week but I promise that I'll be home sooner that you think."_

"great so one more week without you here, just so you know I won't miss you at all." I couldn't be lying more than that.

"_that is great I won't miss you either, it will be so good to be away longer."_ I could tell from the sound on Ashleys' voice that she was lying; great I'm not alone in that department.

**About a week later**

Ashley was on her way back to the recordlabel, the executives had reached a decision so she was needed there so that they could tell her what they were going to do and after that she was on a plane back to LA, and this couldn't be over sooner.

"Hey JJ. So the Cs' had made their decision."

"Well that they have, Ashley so I think that you are pretty happy about that. Going back to LA and seeing Spencer." JJ said. At this point Ashley didn't know what she would think but at least it meant that she was going back to LA, that was good in one way or another.

"So are you going to get to know what they want so that you can go back to your girlfriend in LA?" JJ asked Ashley, and Ashley couldn't help to smile when she was thinking about Spencer.

"Well I'm going to get to know if I can go home to see my friend and my sister and either focusing on writing some good songs or if I first need to find a new label." Ashley said and she still had that smile on her lips, she was going home to see Spencer, and it didn't take her that long to go to see the Cs'.

"So Ashley we have reached or decision so we just have one more question for you before we tell you what we have decided on."

"Okay and that is?" Ashley asked, she wanted to know what she was going to do when she went back home.

"So we were just wondering if you still stand on the same demands that you told us before."

"yes I'm sure of that, I'm going back to LA and I'm going to write music and produce the next album there. I just have one more concert left if I have it my way and if there will be more concert than that one it will be up to one very important person." Ashley said and when she said this JJ came through the door.

"Okay so that we know." Cassidy said and continued "That leaves us to tell you our decision."

"I'm sorry to interrupt but you see we have just received the latest report on the songs that have been playing at the radio and well it seems like Ashley here has one of the most played songs and she hasn't realized any new songs." JJ said, she really is an angel, if I wasn't in love with Spencer I would so kiss her right know. Okay so this is starting to get annoying, I need to get back like now and tell her.

"how can that be?"

"it seems like someone did some recording on one of her last concert that she had in Europe, the one that was for a live DVD and album."

"What I didn't know anything about that."

"That was the point we wanted it to be real. So what is this song that has been playing that much, just so that we can get it out there."

"Well, I'm not sure if Ashley wants it to be a single it has only been played live and we don't have anything else."

"JJ we need to know and at this moment we don't care about that."

"it's this song I remember love."

"Oh" was all that Ashley could say.

"great that means that we have to record that song now."Carlton said.

"I don't want it to be a single I just want to play it live." Ashley said.

"I don't care, you are going to record it today and if you do that you can go back to LA work on whatever it was that you were going to do and you still have your deal."

"one thing thou, it's going to be acoustic."

"Whatever, just get in the studio so that we can have it out soon."

"Sure I forgot to tell you this song isn't going to be on the next album and some most of the profit will go to some womens' organization that helps them in some way."

"Okay."

That was the last of the meeting and Ashley was on her way to the studio and that wasn't something that she wanted to do but she had agreed to it and it was for a good cause.

When Ashley was in the studio she heard her phone ring.

_**You're still apart of everything I do, You are on my heart just like a tattoo…**_

It was Spencer that was calling her, she didn't know why the blonde girl would be calling her at this moment.

"Hey Spence."

"_hey Ash."_

"What do you want?" Ashley asked she was a bit stressed out she just wanted the song to be recored as soon as possible so that she would be able to leave New York and be back in LA.

"_So I guess that this was a bad timing."_ Spencer said and she was a bit disappointed at this.

"I'm sorry Spence, but I'm kind under some pressure, so could I call you back as soon as I'm ready with this."

"_Sure no problem but I was just wondering when you would be back."_

"I think that I'll be back the day after tomorrow."

"_Okay."_

"Spencer I am truly sorry about this, I'm kind of in the studio. I'm going to record a song that they wanted me to record."

"_I understand but that doesn't make this any easier. I kind of missed you."_

"I know, I miss you too but I'll be back before you know it." Ashley said and had a though for herself, she would take a plane back as soon as this was ready and then she would surprise Spencer. "Spence I'll talk to you as soon as I can, I promise."

"_really?"_ Spencer asked and she was a bit surprised, she never thought that Ashley would do that to her. Sure they had been talking a lot lately but when Ashley had answered she sound a bit agitated and that was something that Spencer didn't want to do to Ashley.

"of course Spencer, I have told you before I will never break a promise that I make you ever again." Ashley said.

"_Great, so I'll talk to you soon."_

"yes, bye Spencer."

"_bye ash."_

Ashley was on her way to the airport and sitting in a cab and they had somehow managed to get caught in some kind of traffic jam. And on the radio was some song that reminded her of Spencer.

_But my dreams they aren't as empty, As my conscience seems to be, I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance, That's never free._ Why do they have to play something that I can relate to Spencer, maybe not the lyrics or so but the title? I so don't like this station right know, Ashley thought to herself.

And at the same time back in LA Specner was listening to the radio but that wasn't something that she wanted to do, it was her mother that wanted to have some music on and Spencer had been trying really hard to ignore all of that but that wasn't possible anymore. And just as Spencer was on her way out from the house so that she would be gone from all of this music that reminded her of Ashley a song that was fitting on Ashley came on.

_Hiding behind a rainbow's wall, Slipping and sliding, All along the water fall, with you, My brown eyed girl, You my brown eyed girl._ Why does my mother have to listen to the classic rock station on the radio, maybe more like why did Ashley always play Van Morrison when I we were together.

When both of the girls heard songs that reminded them of the other the realized something that they always knew but didn't want to acknowledge for the last couple of months and it wasn't any easier that they were on different sides of the country at this moment. There was just one song that could describe what the both realized when Ashley was on the east coast and Spencer on the west coast. And just like that they both heard that song.

_Baby when you're gone, I realize I'm in love, days go on and on, and the nights just seem so long, Even food don't taste that good, drink ain't doing what it should, things just feel so wrong, baby when you're gone _

They were simply in love. The days they have been apart had made them realize this now there were just one thing left to tell the other one what they were feeling but at the same time neither of them wanted to jeopardize the friendship they had managed to rebuild for the last months.

The big question was who were going to be the stronger one at this point.

Strong enough to tell the other how they were feeling for the other one.

-----

AN: the other songs that was used were, Show me love, Robyn, Swedish singer songwriter. Jordin Sparks tattoo, Limp Bizikts Behind these blue eyes and then it was brown eyed girl with Van Morrison. Then it was a repeat of baby when you're gone.

Please leave me some feedback.


	18. Chapter 18

An: thanks for the reviews on the last chapter it means a lot and all of that, all I can say is that something finally happened and know the story can progress even more.

You all know the disclaimers at this point, don't own South and that and there is nothing I can do about that. Song doesn't own that one to if I did then maybe I could buy the rights to South. The song is take a chance on me ABBA.

**hugbuddy13: **thanks and here is the next post, hope you like it.

**LoveAsh87:** thanks and they didn't have that much of a choice if they still wanted to have her on the label… bit it's a good thing, now we can get some more Spashley. Sometimes you just need a reminder to realize something some sort of a trigger.

**Coachkimm:** thanks again for the suggestion on some of the Abba songs and here is the first one. Exactly now it's time for the big reviling if anyone of them has the courage to do that. I don't plan on having her causing any problem but who knows how the mind works. I think that they have had enough problems as it is.

**Rockbarn:** thanks so much for that review and here is more I hope that you like this also.

Thanks to:_ arwen2006, Serenity102 _for putting this among their favorite I hope that you both continue to read this story.

This chapter is shorter than the two previous ones but it's kind of a two part chapter, I wanted to have two different songs there for is this chapter shorter but I hope you all like it.

**Chapter 18: Take a chance on me**

_If you change your mind, I'm the first in line  
Honey I'm still free  
Take a chance on me  
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around  
If you__'__ve got no place to go, if you__'__re feeling down  
If you__'__re all alone when the pretty birds have flown  
Honey I__'__m still free  
Take a chance on me  
Gonna do my very best and it ain__'__t no lie  
If you put me to the test, if you let me try_

It's been two long weeks since I realized that I was in love with Spencer and that it wasn't the High School girl, it was the girl or more like the woman she is now. It was when I was I New York for two weeks. I was away from Spencer that whole time but we talked on the phone and texted a lot.

That means that today is the day that I'm going to ask her out. I'm more than nervous about this, it's like I'm back in High School. All I can hope for is that she will say yes and that it will be good.

I can tell you that it has been some close calls about this I have almost slipped up every time that we talk to each other. You don't know how hard it has been for me not to tell her. I have been trying to get some clues if she feels the same but it's really hard it's like she is guarded. I have a feeling that that's because she doesn't want to be hurt again in any kind of way and I can understand that.

I kind of feel sorry for her, we were getting close really close before I left for NY and when I got back she was not the same girl I tried to ask her about that but she didn't want to tell me about that I need to call her.

"Spencer, I know that you don't want to talk about this but I really need to talk to you."

"Ash, I have told you before, there is nothing to talk about." The blonde girl said and she was getting just a bit more furious on her friend, she had told the brunette a lot of times that there were nothing to worry about but somehow the girl didn't want to believe her.

"Spence, I know that something is wrong, so here is the deal either you tell me now or I come over and we talk about this with your parents." Ashley was really trying to get the blonde girl in front of her to tell her.

"You don't understand.

"What is it that I don't understand if you don't tell me what it is? There will be no chance for me to understand what it is that you want me to understand."  
"I have told you that there is nothing and I mean it." The blond was getting more and more disturbed with her friend, why wouldn't Ashley just let it go. Spencer had been like this ever since the day when she had heard that song on the radio, and it didn't get better when Ashley wanted to spend as much time as she could with the blonde.

"Spencer I have known you for a while and I can tell when something is bothering you and I know that something is bothering you right know." Ashley said and this wasn't something small she could tell that it was big.

"Do you really want to know what it is?"

"Yes, Spencer I want to know what it's. I have been trying to tell you that for the last couple of weeks."

"Okay, I'm in love with you." Spencer yelled to the other girl in front of her.

That was something that Ashley didn't think that she was going to hear from the blonde so the brunette was just sitting there on her chair and not saying anything.

"I knew it I should have said anything." Spencer said and began to rise from her own chair.

"Go out with me." Was the only thing that came from the brunettes' mouth.

"Excuse me?"

"I said go out on a date with me."

"What?"

Finally Ashley realized that she should be saying something else to the girl that she was in love with and not just repeating herself at this point.

"I said, Spencer Carlin would you like to go out on a date with me?" Ashley said.

That question was something that Spencer hadn't expected to hear.

"Ash, I hope that you don't say that just because I said something before."

"I have wanted to ask you out ever since I got back from New York. But I didn't know how to or even if you liked me," Ashley said and she was just a bit embarrassed about what she just confessed to the girl that she was in love with.

"why didn't you say anything. Ash you know that you can tell me anything." Spencer said and she really tried to get the brunette to understand that.

"I know but I didn't want to put any more pressure on you then you already were under and I wasn't sure if you would be ready."

"I thought that you knew that."

"So what do you say, will you go on that date with me?"

"Never a dole moment with you."

"That's Ashley Davies for you. So how will it be?"

"I'll go on that date with you."

"YEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!"

"Ash can't you just keep the volume down a bit."

"Okay, but just a bit Spence. You see I have this date with this awesome girl."

"Okay and who might that be?"

"Well, let me see. She is like this blue eyed, blonde girl that I kind of have a thing for."

"Oh, she sounds really special."

"I know she is. So Spence, Friday at eight I'll pick you up."

"Okay anything special that I would need?"

"No, I'll take care of that." Ashley said and she had this plan in her head on what she was going to do.

"Oaky, but I kind of need to go, I have this cheek up at the hospital, that I should go on."

"That is great Spence, jut so you wear something comfortable."

"That I think I can do. Bye Ash."

"Bye, Spencer."

**Friday night**

It was Friday night and tonight was the night that they would have their date.

Both of them was really nervous about the whole thing, sure they have been getting along great and they have heard a lot times ever since that day at the beach when they talked things through that they were making a cute couple even if they weren't one. Every strange that saw them together thought that they were a couple and they weren't. That must mean something; it should be a good thing.

Ashley had been planning this, and it was something that she wanted to do for Spencer. She knew that it would look like a repeat but she didn't care at this point. It was their place and there for it should be there.

This was a new huge step for them and she was praying that they were ready to take this step.

Ashley was walking slowly up to the door like she had done so many times before but this, this was really something. It was like being back in high school and picking up your date. She had done this with Spencer so many times before but this time it felt so much more real. Ashley couldn't point her finger on what it was that made this feel so, so real for the lack of a better word.

Ashley took a deep breath.

She raised her right hand so that she could knock on the door. That was what she did, she could hear voices and steps coming towards the door on the other side. That was when the door opened and there was Paula Carlin opening the door. That was something Ashley had been hoping that she wouldn't be seeing so soon. At least not before the actually date, she wanted to see Spencer.

"Hello Ashley."

"Hi, Mrs. C." Ashley said, she was back in her own teenage years, she knew that she could call Paula by her first name but at this point she just felt weird doing so.

"I thought I told you that you could call me Paula."

"You did, but it would just feel so weird doing so at this moment."

"Okay. I'm guessing you are here to see Spencer."

"yeah, that is right. So is she around." And as Ashley said that she could see Spencer walking down the stairs, she was just looking so beautiful. Ashley was at lost at words and that was something that had happened rather frequently for the last couple of weeks, well ever since she had gotten back form NYC. Where she had realized something and she had shared it with Spencer and that was the reason that she was standing here, in the door way at the Carlin home just like a love sick teenager.

"Hey, Spence are you ready to go?" Ashley asked.

"yeah. So where are we going?" Spencer asked as they step outside of the door and began to walk to the car.

"Well, I don't want to spoil the surprise so you just have to wait." Ashley smiled and she opened the door for Spencer to the car.

Ashley began to drive the car and they had a bit of a small talk and Spencer tired really hard to get Ashley to tell her where they were going but Ashley on the other hand managed to keep herself from slipping up and telling Spencer where they were.

"Spencer, there is a blindfold in the glovecompartment can you take that and I'll help you to put it on." Ashley said as she looked at Spencer.

"Why?" Spencer asked.

"Well that is a part of the surprise I don't want you to know where we are until you take it off." Ashley said and almost pleaded Spencer to take it, after just a couple of minutes Spencer took the blindfold and put it on.

About ten minutes later Ashley stopped the car and helped Spencer out and took her hand so that she could lead Spencer to the place that they were supposed to be spending some time at.

---

I kind of want your help with this, I have to ABBA songs that I want to use but I'm not sure on which one I'm going to use, it's flashback to the high school, one is for the whole Spencer coming out thing and then it's one that is more for like a dare or something not sure yet how to use it.

The songs that I'm thinking about are:

_Does your mother know_ and then it's _When I kiss the teacher_ so my question is should I use them in the same chapter or in two different chapters, meaning that it will be two chapters of flashbacks.  
Please let me know what you think!!!


	19. Chapter 19

Thanks so much for the feedback that means a lot to me and I hope that you all will continue on doing that.

**Disclaimer:** don't own SoN and I don't own the rights to the song this time too, the song is Dancing in the moonlight, with Toploader.

**Coachkimm:** Thanks for the review and I think that it will be two chapters, I realized that it otherwise would be strange.

**LoveAsh87:** Thanks for the feedback and here is the next part. And sometimes things need to take time but it was the right time for Spencer.

**hugbuddy13:** Thanks and you are going to read more of the date in this chapter and some more stuff.

I want to say thanks to **DegrassiFan1994** for having this as a favorite story and also to **SchmillleyyyLoveee** for putting it to the story alert list. I hope that you both will continue to read this and I hope that you all will like this chapter to.

**Chapter 19: Dancing in the moonlight**

_We get it on most every night  
When that moon is big and bright  
It's a supernatural delight  
Everybody's dancing in the moonlight_

Ashley took of the blindfold that Spencer had on, this had been pretty hard for Ashley to do, but she was grateful that she had help in the form of her sister otherwise this might have been a bit hard to pull off.

Ashley didn't want anything to ruin this night and if it wasn't like she had planned it could go bad, really bad. She just hoped that Spencer would appreciate this, but at the same time Ashley was afraid that Spencer might think that she couldn't come up with something original.

"Ashley this is amazing." Spencer said when she saw what Ashley had done.

"Really?" Ashley asked she had this feeling that Spencer was going to like it but there is always the small risk that it wouldn't be appreciated.

"Yeah, it is really beautiful and you are just so sweet." Spencer said and she gave Ashley a kiss on the cheek, this was after all their first date, well first date once again.

"Thanks, I can't take the entire honor for this I had some help." Ashley said."

"Well, whoever that was it was nice of them." Spencer said as she looked over the small picnic that was just had some resemblance to the first date that they had been on earlier.

"I make sure to tell them that but I thought that you might think that I couldn't think for myself or that this would be too much of a repeat after the time we spent on thy beach just talking."

"Ash not to break this for you or anything but the last time we were on the beach we just had a picnic sitting on a blanket talking." Spencer said and smiled, she was truly happy she never thought that Ashley would do anything like this but at the same time this was exactly what the two of them needed, to be at a place where the two of them felt comfortable.

"That is what we're going to do tonight to Spence." Ashley said and took Spencers' hand so that she could lead the girl to the blanket that was surrounded by candles those were lit just yet. But deep down Ashley knew that before this night was over those candles would

As they sat down on the beach just eating and talking to each other. After they have been eating they were sitting close together and watching the sunset. It was one of those things that they had done together before and now it could be a start for them again. Sitting together Ashley could feel something that she for sure wanted to feel again, she felt at peace and that was the one thing that she had missed during all of these years, feeling at peace.

"Ash this is beautiful." Spencer said out of nowhere.

"Yeah, I know." Ashley said and she wasn't thinking about the sunset, she was thinking about the blonde that was sitting between her legs. The girl that she was holding in her arms, the girl that she didn't want to let go again.

"Ash, what are you thinking about?" Spencer asked and looked up at the girl that was sitting behind her; she could tell that the other girl was deep in thoughts.

"Nothing, just how amazing all of this is."

"I know, and I'm glad that I'm here with you. I have missed all of this." Spencer said and smiled towards the older girl.

Then all of a sudden Ashley took something out from the basket that she had been hiding, it was supposed to be one more surprise for Spencer, it was one of her favorite desserts. Ashley had brought chocolate cowered strawberries. When she took them from the basket the only thing that Spencer could do at that point was to squeal. She couldn't believe what Ashley had done and so far of this night it has all been good and amazing.

The night continued as it had and everything had been perfect so far and Ashley was hoping that it would be for the rest of the night. She had one more surprise left for Spencer and she hope that it would be appreciated. It was nothing like what she had done earlier this night.

Ashley had this dream of what she wanted to do on her first date with Spencer besides all of what they had done so far. They had been eating and talking and the moonlight was just getting all of this so much more romantic and that was what she was going for.

It was time for the next surprise for Spencer. Ashley took out her iPod and some small speakers just so that she could play some music for the girl the light sound of Toploaders dancing in the moonlight was playing in the background and this was it.

"Spencer may I have this dance?" Ashley asked the blonde that was sitting in front of her.

"Sure, Ashley. This is just so amazing." Spencer said and reached for Ashleys' hand. Ashley took Spencers' hand and helped the blonde up.

And as they stood up they slowly began to sway to the music, this was as close as the two of them could come to a dream come true at this time.

Dancing on the beach in the moonlight with Spencer was the only thing that Ashley wanted to do. To dance in the moonlight with the girl that had stolen her heart those years ago. This time Ashley knew that she wouldn't let the blonde go. Ashley would do anything that she could do to make this last forever. If it meant that she would never go on a tour ever again that was what she would do. She would never record a song ever again. If Spencer said that she wanted the world Ashley would do anything in her power to make that happen.

Spencer couldn't believe that Ashley had done all of this. It had been so great and Ashley had behaved like a gentleman, not a man but however, this had been the best first date she had been on since she could remember. Spencer placed her head on Ashleys' shoulder as the swayed to the music that was almost ending.

During the dance Ashley was whispering in Spencers' ear. It was words of love but nothing that would put what they were sharing at this time in any kind of danger. Ashley wanted to share everything with Spencer. As the song ended, Ashley placed a small kiss at the top of Spencers' head.

They sat down back on the blanket but this time Spencer was sitting between Ashleys' legs and leaning backwards, and Ashley was holding her arms around Spencer. Neither of them wanted the night to end but in the back of their heads they knew that this was soon to end.

As they were headed back to the Carlin house Ashley knew that this had been one of the nights that she would remember forever.

Spencer had the same thoughts running through her head she didn't want this to end but she didn't want to take this any further, not tonight that was something that she wasn't ready for yet. Not after all she had been through with Jen. She hoped that Ashley understood that but so far this night had been going pretty good so there for there was nothing that she should be afraid of.

"Spence, I know that this might sound cheesy and all of that but I need to tell you this." Ashley said as she had stopped the car on the driveway outside the Carlin residence.

"Okay, I promise that I won't laugh at you. So you just can tell me what it is."

"This night has been amazing but I didn't think otherwise and I hope that we can do this soon again." Ashley said. "And I kind of don't want this to end."

"I know what you mean and I'm sure that it won't end anytime soon." Spencer answered her.

"But I'm drooping you of at this point. Therefore it's ending; I thought that you knew better than that."Ashley said with a big smile, she couldn't help herself, she had had an amazing night with Spencer and now Spencer was telling her that this wasn't going to end soon.

"Ash just listen to this, I know that I said that this isn't going to end anytime soon. Sure our date is almost over but that doesn't mean that we can't have another one." Spencer said and tilted her head and gave Ashley a smile and that little smile just made Ashley melt on the spot.

Spencer was still the cute little girl that she once was, she hadn't lost all of the innocent after all that she has been trough.

It had been a couple of days after their date on the beach and the both of them have been really happy and not sure on what the next step would be. Well they know that it should be another date but they aren't sure on when that should be.

And they haven't exactly told anyone that they were on a date and neither of them is sure on how they should tell everyone about that. There are some people that for sure have an idea of what have been going on between them, Ashley was pretty sure that the Carlins except and Kyla knew and then if they knew that would mean that Madison probably knew.

All of that adds up to that they shouldn't need to tell anyone in the end.

Ashley knew that she should be talking to Spencer about all of this and this was a day that she could do that and hopefully be able to do so without anyone interrupting them.

Spencer and Ashley were standing outside the hospital at the moment they were on their way in. The only reason that they was standing on the outside and not on the inside was because someone had told some paparazzizs that Ashley was on her way and that Spencer was with her. Ashley and Spencer were trying to get away and in to the hospital, but before that they needed someone to come and get them so that they should be able to use another door, preferably a backdoor or an employee entrance. Spencer was supposed to do a backup cheek just to see how everything was going and doing after all that her body has been through for the last months or so.

"Hey Spencer how is everything going?" The doctor asked.

"Well I think that everything is going pretty good. I have been getting easier and easier to breath and I don't have as much of headaches as I have had before." Spencer said and smiled, she knew that it was true and she had an idea of why it was that way too but that was something that she didn't want to tell anyone just yet.

"That sounds great. So what have you been up to since the last visit?" the doctor asked.

"Not much, just realizing some things that I knew already and then made some of them happen." Spence answered the doctor, it was pretty vague and it was a reason for that. Her mother. The doctor knew her mother and there were some things that Spencer preferred to tell her mother herself when she felt ready to do so. Sure there is something called patient doctor privilege but sometimes that isn't enough specially when your mother is Paula Carlin, she can make a grown man cry just by looking at him and if she wants to know anything about her daughter she will find out what she wants to know, that was something that Spencer had learned the hard way.

"That sounds great and I can see that you have Ashley with you this time too." The doctor said and looked between the two girls.

"Well what can I say doctor, I want to be there for Spencer and this is one way that I can be there for her and therefore I choose to do so. I hope that I'm not in the way." Ashley said and she was a bit nervous about all of this, sure she had been with Spencer before to this doctor but that had been before they had been on that date and before she was in NYC, which meant that it was before she admitted to herself how she felt about the blonde girl.

"That wouldn't be a problem, Ashley. I do think that Spencer would be telling you to leave if she doesn't want you here. And I'm sure that I won't have anything against that, it seems like Spencer feels great in your company and safe and that means a lot to her." the doctor said and that was all that Ashley needed to hear.

The rest of the appointment went well and Spencer seemed to making great progress and on their way out Ashley finally had built up some courage so that she could talk to Spencer.

"Spence?" Ashley asked just so that she could get the blondes attention before she began to talk to the other girl. This was something that the two of them needed to talk about and therefore Ashley wanted Spencer full attention.

"Yeah." Was all that Spencer said and looked at her friend or girlfriend, Spencer wasn't sure on what to call her just yet, she had a feeling that this was what Ashley wanted to talk to her about.

"Spencer, you see there is something that I want to talk to you about but I don't really know how to start or where to start." Ashley said and she looked at Spencer and maybe by doing so she could get some answers on where she should start but this wasn't one of those times, Ashley couldn't read Spencers' facial expressions and that was one of the first times that that happened.

"Well, if I should say something I think that you should start at the beginning." Spencer said and that was a good place to start.

"I just think that we need to talk." Ashley said and she looked down at her own feet, she was nervous and Ashley Davies doesn't do nervous, she does confident.

"Ash, it's just me and you know that you can tell me anything that you want to tell me." Spencer said and put her fingers under Ashleys' chin so that she could look the brunette in the eyes when she said that.

"I know Spence, but I don't know what words to use and the words that I do know that I can use just feel so wrong and cheesy. "Ashley said and there were some tears slowly beginning to form in the brunettes' eyes.

"Just take your time I'm sure that you will be able to tell me when you are ready, don't force anything. Nothing good will come from that." Spencer told her friend.

"You are right, but when did you become so smart?" Ashley asked even if she knew that Spencer most of the time had been the one that had the brains, she still loved to tease the blonde about that little fact.

"Well I would say that I have always been this smart, you just have had some trouble understanding all of that." Spencer answered Ashley to that question.

"Okay, so here is the thing I don't know if we're friends or if we're together. And if we aren't any of those if we are dating or what it is." Ashley said and Spencer had this confused look on her face but she knew at the same time where Ashleys' questions were coming from because she had the same ones."

"I honestly don't know, Ash. If I did know I would tell you but I think that this is something that we need to discuss." Spencer said as she looked Ashley in the eyes.

Ashley didn't say anything she knew that Spencer was right, this was something that they needed to discuss but there were just something that was too hard for the brunette and this was one of those things.

"Okay, Ash so you don't say anything to me now and you were the one that said that you wanted to talk to me about this. So all I can say to all of those questions that you had about what we are. I would say that we are friends." Spencer said and when she said that Ashleys' eyes fell, she had hoped for something more.

"Okay so that is good." Was all that Ashley said as she turned around she didn't want Spencer to see that those words really hurt her.

"Ash, just don't walk away. There is more that I want to say." Spencer said as she could see that Ashley slowly walked to her car but when the brunette heard those words she began to hope again. Maybe just maybe Spencer would consider something more from her.

"Ash, I wanted to say, that we have just been out on one date so I wouldn't say that we aren't a couple just yet but maybe if we go on one more date, we could say that we are dating and after a few more dates maybe you could say that we are together." Spencer said and looked at Ashley. As the brunette heard what the blonde told her.

"Okay." That was the word that Ashley could say, everything Spencer just had said made so much sense Ashley couldn't believe that she hadn't thought about that before she was talking to Spencer but at the same time she was glad that she had done so. This meant that they were on the same page and that was a start for them and for sure this was going to go somewhere.

The only thing that went through Ashleys' head at this point was that she needed to take Spencer out on more dates. If she didn't do so it would mean that she was giving up and that is the last thing that she is going to do. Giving up on something that she gave up on before and that she now knows is something that she never wants to lose again.


	20. Chapter 20

AN: So here is the next part of this story and it slowly begins to come to an end but it's still a few more chapters but at this point I have most of them already planned out and I have also began to write on the, chapter 21 is done and the last three chapters are all like half done.

I want to say thanks for all of the feedback that I have gotten so far and I hope to get some more.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own South of Nowhere. And I for sure don't own the song, and this is the next ABBA song, _Does your mother know_ please read the lyric lines and please let me know what you thought about the song choice to this chapter. I myself was pretty happy with it.

**Coachkimm:** thanks for mention that, and I hope that there will be more of that to come in later chapters, I'm not sure of that there will be that kind of interaction in this chapter.

**hugbuddy13:** I had a hard time writing that, I could see it how I wanted it to play out but to put it to words was harder then I wanted it to be. So let's have them some dates that you don't read about so that we can take this a bit forward.

**LoveAsh87:** I'm not sure that Spencer is playing games so to say, I would say that she is afraid of getting hurt again, but she is opening up more and more. And Ashley wants to show that she has changed for the better so that this will be working out in the end.

**Chapter 20: Does your mother know**

_Well I can dance with you honey  
If you think it's funny  
Does your mother know that you're out?  
And I can chat with you baby  
Flirt a little maybe  
Does your mother know that you're out?_

I think that we need to go on one more date, was all that was running through Spencers' head at this time. They had been on a few more dates after that one on the beach and all of them were Ashleys' planning. Spencer felt like she also should be planning on something that they could do on a date, there had been some dinners at restaurants and a few movies but not that many mostly because of the fact that they would easily be spotted at those places.

Slowly an idea on what they could do began to for in Spencers' head and this time she was the one that would plan a date.

"Ash, do you have any plans for tomorrow." Spencer asked as soon as she called Ashley.

"I don't think so."

"Great, you are going on a date with me." Spencer said and she was just waiting for an okay from Ashley that she would be coming.

"Okay, so when am I picking you up." Ashley asked the blonde.

"Well, I was thinking that you could come by the house at say, seven and then we take it from there." Spencer told Ashley.

"That sounds like a plan. So I swing by at seven tomorrow." Ashley said as Spencer had told her that just to confirm that she had gotten all of it.

The next night Ashley came by and she was wondering what Spencer had in mind for them all that she was told was that she didn't need to dress up or anything like that.

"hey, Spence. So what's the plan for tonight?" Ashley asked as she walked through the door.

"well I was thinking that we could stay in and just watch some movies and maybe do some talking." Spencer said.

"that sounds nice and then we could order some take out. Cause I know that I want something to eat and I'm to tiered to do something else. So what are we going to watch?"

"well, I have some options and I thought that you could pick one and then I'll pick one."

"sounds fair so what are the movies."

"the first one is called Show me Love (Fucking Åmål), it a Swedish movie and then we have the Indiana Jones movies and then of course Hitch. But you can always look and see if you find another movie that you want to watch." Spencer said and she was just a bit nervous about all of this.

"so I was thinking that I want to see Hitch and then you can chose what movie you want to see." Ashley said.

"okay, I kind of wanted to see this movie Show me Love."

"Spence, you know that I don't like to watch movies where I have to read."

"I know Ash, but I can promise you that this is a movie that you will love after you have seen it." Spencer tried to convince the other girl.

"Fine. But if I don't like it I will never have to see a movie like that again."

"I promise." Spencer said and she was really happy that they were going to see this movie.

They watch Hitch first and they were laughing pretty good at some points and that was definitively something that they needed to do. After they had seen that movie they began to eat some of the take out that they had ordered and so far the evening had gone by pretty good and now was it time for the movie that Spencer had chosen.

They began to watch it, and when Spencer looked up at Ashley at one point in the movie she had tear in her eyes and that was when she knew what they needed to do. That was what made Spencer sure on that she had been right on doing this and that made her surer on anything.

"So Ash, the movie was pretty good right?" Spencer asked as the movie was over.

"Yeah, I didn't know what this movie was about and you were right I totally loved it and I can watch it again and again." Ashley said and I just loved how they took the beginning of the movie to end, you know about the chocolate milk."

"that was great to do so and by the way you know this movie Mammuth, with Michelle Williams and Gael García Bernal."

"Yeah I know that movie." Ashley said and wondered why Spencer would ask her that.

"You see it's the same director that has made those two movies. And next time I have another movie that I want you to see by this director." Spence said.

"Okay, I'll do that but only if I can pick the other movie." Ashley said with a grin.

"Sure. I would love that." Spencer said and she gave Ashley a kiss. That was something that the brunette didn't expect her to do.

It had been a couple of week since the first date between the two girls and it had been going pretty good and Spencer knew on some level that she should probably tell her parents that she and Ashley once again was dating, well more specific that they were together once again. Spencer knew that it was going go better this time around telling them that or at least her mother. She wouldn't have to come out and say that she was gay once again, that was a good thing for her.

That was when she heard her phone go off and she took a quick glance on the display before answering just so that she would know who it was but she could tell from the ring that it was Ash that was calling.

"Hey sweetie." Ash said as Spencer answered her phone.

"Well hi to you too babe." Spencer said.

"So I was just wondering if you had talked to your mother about or situation." Ashley asked, she wanted to know how she would approach her girlfriend's parents, because that was what they were once again. Spencer had asked her just the day before yesterday.

"No I haven't had any time to do so but I think that it will go better than the last time I had to tell them." Spencer said.

"Yeah you are right about that, but I still have trouble understanding why your parents were at Gray that night." Ashley said.

"You are not alone to wonder that and after that they have never been there again. I'm guessing that they wanted to know what kind of place it was that we all were hanging out at." Spencer told Ashley over the phone.

**Flashback**

Spencer was getting ready to go out with her friends and her girlfriend they had all decided on that they were going to go to Gray tonight. It was something that they did almost every time that they all hanged out together.

Down stairs she could hear that someone was ringing on the doorbell, she was almost sure that it was her girlfriend, Ashley. They have been together for almost one month now and it was still new for the blonde, but they had still not told everyone that they were together. Sure the school knew and Spencers' brother too and Kyla. The first person that had found out was actually Madison and she had promised that she wouldn't tell anyone until Spencer was ready for them to know and for once she had kept that promise.

She knew deep down that's he should be telling her parents about her and Ashley but she didn't want to lose either of them and telling her parents could actually lead to that she was going to lose either Ashley or her parents. When it came to her parents her mother would probably go crazy and do something stupid when she would find out.

"Spence, Ashley is here. She is waiting for you!" Her father was yelling to her, and it was a good thing that she was ready for the night out and after that she would be spending the night with her girlfriend.

Spencer walked down the staircase from her room so that she could get going with Ashley.

"Dad, I'm spending the night with Ash." Spencer said as she left with the brunette.

"Spence, wait a minute."

"What dad?" Spencer asked, this was new for her, never before had her father asked her to wait a minute when she was going out with Ashley.

"I was just wondering where you guys were going?" her dada asked the both girls.

"Dad, I thought that I told you before, that we're going to Gray and you know that I have been there before. And I can promise you that there will be no problem with that."

"Okay, I just wanted to double cheek and I'll tell your mother that you'll be spending the night at Ashleys'."

"Thanks dad, love you." Spencer said and with that she was out the door, Ashley had been standing outside and waiting for Spencer, sure she had been in but when Arthur had wanted to talk to Spencer Ashley had walked to her car.

The two girls had finally made it to Gray, it was normally a car ride that took about 15 minutes but tonight it had taken the two girls twice that long. Let's not get into so much detail about what had made them late.

"Hey! Over here!" they could hear someone yell, it sounded like the blondes brother and the both of them began to look around to see where they were.

"Oh! There they are" Ashley said when she had spotted the rest of the group and she and Spencer began to walk to them. Their fingers were intertwined when they were walking, it was kind of cute.

"Hey, so how is everybody?" Spencer asked, she wanted to get away from the fact that they were a bit late, but no one should b surprised that they were.

"Well we are all great, but I think that the two you are felling better than we all are doing." Madison said and that little comment made Spencer blush, but then again you don't have to say so much to make the blonde blush.

"Yeah, that we are and you should all be jealous." Ashley said and gave Spencer a quick kiss on the lips. "Spence, do you want anything to drink?" Ashley asked and looked at Spencer.

"Yeah, that would be nice, I just want a coke." Spencer said.

"Okay, is there anyone else that wants something?" Ashley asked before she left them so that she could get to the bar, no one said anything.

A couple of hours later all of them was sitting and laughing Glen had said something funny and no one really knew what it was that he had said. After that Ashley just dragged Spencer with her to the dance floor, she wanted to have at least one dance with her girlfriend before they had to leave.

There was some remix of different old songs, Ashley that really loved her music did recognize some of the song and then it was pretty funny some part of the song and the title of the song.

Ashley began to slowly place herself behind Spencer, and the blonde didn't move she let Ashley decide what to do next. The brunette placed her hands on Spencers' waist and after they began to move together to the beat of the song that was playing.

After awhile Spencer turned around so that she was facing Ashley, slowly the both of them began to close the small distance that was between them, together they began to kiss; it was a slow kiss just to show how much they cared about each other.

A few songs later the two of them left the dance floor and headed for the bar and when they got there they saw that Kyla and some guy was standing there and they had some kind of argument about something.

"Hey, why can't you just leave me alone?" Kyla said and she tried to keep her cool and not be too angry and show that. She didn't feel that comfortable around this guy.

"Hi Ky, how is it going." Ashley asked her sister as she came to the guy and Kyla just to show that she knew that Kyla was there and let her know that she would help her if she needed some help.

"Oh, hey Ash I didn't see you and everything is going good. Hi Spence." Kyla said and looked at her sister and sisters' girlfriend. When Kyla said this guy turned around and they could see that it was one of the jocks from school that didn't understand that Kyla was dating someone else and she wasn't interested in him.

Ashley and Spencer order something to drink and just made a quick check with Kyla to see that everything was going okay and that they could leave, and it seemed like there was no problem with her at this point but told them that she soon would be there.

After about half an hour it was Spencers' turn to drag Ashley out to the dance floor, there was soon playing a slow song, one of their favorite songs at the moment. Spencer placer her arms around Ashleys' neck and Ashley place her arms around Spencers' waist and they began to slowly sway to the music. Spencer moved her arms and hands to Ashleys' waist so that she could place her head on Ashleys' shoulder. And as Spencer did that Ashley did the same and they continued to dance. Ashley slowly changed her position a bit and as she did that Spencer lifted her head and met Ashleys' eyes. That just made the both of them realize something, Spencer was pretty fast on closing the distance that were between them and gave Ashley a kiss and as the blonde did that, she could feel how the brunette was slowly tracing the lower lip so that she could be able to deepen the kiss that the two of them were sharing. That was something that Spencer more than willingly granted the older girl and for a moment their tongues were dueling for dominance but it soon was a dance between the two tongues and they were working in a pleasant pace.

That was when they were torn apart before either of them had a chance to react to what was happening, they could hear someone yelling.

"Spencer Carlin! I thought that you knew what you are supposed to do." There was someone yelling to the blonde as the brunette was dragged away from her girlfriend. That was the moment that they realized that someone that they hadn't told about being a couple were there and didn't like this at all.

"Mum!" was all that Spencer said, and tears began to form in her eyes as she could see her girlfriend being dragged away from her by her own mother. This was not the way that she wanted her parents to find out that she was gay and that she in fact was dating her best friend.

"What Spencer?! This is wrong in so many levels." Paula Carlin said and looked at her own daughter and Ashley like they was worth nothing.

"Paula you can't just do anything like this." Ashley said.

"Ashley you are staying out of this." Paula said and kept dragging Ashley by her arm.

"I'm not going anywhere unless Spencer says so and so far I haven't heard anything that from her saying that I should leave her alone." Ashley said and she was angry with the woman that claimed to be her girlfriends' mother, the woman didn't act like one at this time.

"I honestly don't care." Paula said and then she let go of Ashleys' arm and instead grabbed Spencer and dragged her out from the club and Ashley followed them outside the club.

Once the three of them were on the outside it could be heard a lot of yelling and different kinds of comments coming from the three women that were outside and it wasn't the nicest words that was present in the English vocabulary that was used.

"Mum don't you understand what I have been trying to tell you for like ten minutes." Spencer tried to reason with her own mother but it wasn't worth it at all Paula Carlin didn't want to hear what her own daughter had to say.

"No, Spencer you are not, gay and I mean that, you are just confused." Paula said and there were no chance of that the older blonde was going to back down.

**End Flashback**

"Spencer, you have to admit that your parents being at Grays' apart from the fact that we were kind of outed that night was pretty funny." Ashley said as the two of them were talking about how it had gone the first time that they told, well more like were caught before they had told the Carlin parents that the two of them were together.

"Yeah, you are right Ash, I can laugh about it now but at that moment I really wanted them to be gone or for the ground to open up so that I could fall down in that hole. You can't say that you didn't want that too." Spencer said to Ashley and the two of them began to laugh.

"You are right Spence, and I don't think that it can go any worse this time when we, tell them because I want to be there with you when you tell them about us." Ashley said to her girlfriend on the other end of the phone.

"Only if you can be here in like fifteen minutes." Spencer said and continued "because that is when they are getting home." And as she had said that there was a knock on the door and Spencer went down stairs so that she could open the door and there were her girlfriend standing.

"Hey, Spence."Ashley said and gave Spencer a kiss on the lips. That as a surprise for the blonde. "I think that I could be here when you tell them about us." Ashley said and smirked.

"Well it looks like that." Spencer said and gave Ashley a kiss. "Just so you know Ash I think that they kind of already know."

After awhile Paula and Arthur got home and they could see the two girls sitting in the livingroom talking and laughing.

"Hey girls" Arthur said.

"Mum, dad" Spencer said.

"So I think that there is something that the two of you want to tell us, right?" Paula said, she had an idea of why the two girls were sitting there and it looked like they were waiting for them to come home.

"Well yeah there is something that we wanted to talk to you about." Spencer said and looked at Ashley just to get the conformation that it was okay to tell them, and Ashley just nodded.

"The thing is that Ash and I have been dating for a couple of weeks and just a couple of days ago we agreed on something." Spencer said, and the look on her parents' faces told her that they knew what she was talking about but they also said that they wanted her to tell it to them. "We kind of decide that we are together." Spencer confirmed and as she said that Ashley leaned in and gave Spencer a kiss on the cheek.

"I knew it Arthur." Paula said and looked at her husband, she had grown closer to both her daughter and her now girlfriend for the last months that had passed.

"Yeah, that was what you said." Arthur said and he was happy for her daughter maybe this time she had found the person that she had been looking for or more like waited for everyday since the two of them had broken up.

"Well know that we have it confirmed. It's just to pay up Arthur and I think that I have some more money to get from both Glen and Madison." Paula said and looked at the couple that was sting close together in the couch.

It wasn't that hard for them to tell the parents of the blonde and it seemed like there had been some kind of bet going on between all of them when Spencer and Ashley was going to get together and it seem like Paula had won that.

-----

Okay I just wanted to mention something about the movies that I named in this chapter I obvious don't own them just to make sure. But I do like Hitch, okay maybe it's Will Smith in that movie but that is not way, I like the idea of the "date doctor".

Then the Indiana Jones movies, I shall be honest with you all, I haven't seen any of them but I just wanted to have them have some different movies to choose from.

Show me Love/Fucking Åmål (SmL) is a Swedish movie from 1998 and I just love that one it's one of my favorites movies ever so if you haven't seen it, please see it and if you like SoN which I think that you do I would guess that you will like this movie to.

Mammuth is the new movie by the director of SmL I haven't seen that one yet but I want to see it.


	21. Chapter 21

I want to say thank you to all of my readers for following this story and of course reading it, it mean a lot to me and I hope that you like this as much as the previous chapters.

Disclaimers: don't own South of Nowhere, and its characters and I don't have any right to the song used in the beginning of the chapter, in this case its _Creep_ with _Lambretta_, I just thought that the title was kind of nice.

**shadowhawk kv**: thank for the feedback and I can say that I'm thinking about that, but it won't be up until later, I want to have this one done and some of my other fics too finished. I kind of feel sorry for them but then again, I didn't know how it would play out I just wrote and that was what happened.

**hugbuddy13:** yeah that they are, now are we going somewhere and let's see how it all will play out.

**LoveAsh87:** I think that we needed some comic relief at this point and soon there will be some more drama, I would say that it begins in this chapter, but it really starts in a couple of chapters. This chapter gives away a tiny bit of what it could be about.

**Coachkimm:** I hope that you will like the movie.

And a thanks to the new readers that have added this story to alerts and favorite, I hope that you all will keep reading.

**Chapter 21: Creep**

_I am such a creep  
I am such a creepy kind  
Sorry but I do believe I'm just that type of girl  
I am such a creep  
( and I can't help it )  
I ain't gonna waste my time  
And I do believe that boy just had to go  
God I'm such a creep!_

Spencer and Ashley had been going out for almost two months now and nothing much had happened. It hadn't been official in the press but everyone that they wanted to know knew and that was all that mattered for them. There was still one more problem, the police hadn't gotten Jen under arrest yet and it was tearing Spencer apart.

She was thinking that it would never happen and she was thankful that she didn't need to think about the press knowing about her and Ashley. If that would happen before Jen was under arrest it would probably lead to Spencer having a mental breakdown, everyone that was around her was having a close look on her.

Spencer was at a store to get some snacks to her and Ashleys' night in they were going to watch some movies and that was going great until she was standing in the line to pay for her items.

That was when she saw what on the front page on several of the gossip magazines, big headlines telling the world that Ashley Davies was no longer single, that she had met a girl and that girl was Spencer Carlin. The girl that Ashley had been visiting at the hospital, it was all hard on Spencer she was feeling like someone had pulled the chair right from under her. There were no one there she could talk to; she didn't know where she would go. It was just too much for her, she collapsed right there on the floor in the store.

Spencer was rushed to the hospital, but she knew that she was going to be okay. It had just been a small panic attack, it wasn't the first time that it had happened. There were a few things that were the reason behind them but most of the time it had something to do with her attacks from Jen.

When Spencer got to the hospital she was fine, she just needed to rest a bit, she was given some oxygen just to be on the safe side as they said and with they, Spencer meant her mother that had been to see her and then of course she had called Ashley that was no better off than Spencer when she heard what had happened.

Ashley herself had found out about that the tabloids just before she had received the call from Paula about what had happened to Spencer. All that Ashley was hoping for at this point was that she still would have Spencer by her side. They still didn't know how it would have been leaked to the press about her relationship with Spencer. They had been really careful when they were on the outside so that they wouldn't get exposed before Spencer was ready.

Ashley needed to make a statement about all of this that was being reported in the tabloids but before that she needed to talk to Spencer. That was something that would happened to night instead of their movie night.

Spencer was back at home with her parents and Madison after that visit to the hospital. She had told them about what had made her have her panic attack and they all knew that this was going to be hard for them all but this could make it even harder for Spencer to be more involved in this world she had been getting better and better for the last months, the months that she and Ashley had been getting closer and mostly for the months that they have been together.

"Spence I know this is hard for you but I think that you need to talk to someone about all of this." Arthur said and looked at his daughter. He knew on some level that they should have been more pushing towards her getting to see a therapist about what she had been through.

"Dad, I know that you think that but I know that it will be better, I feel better already. It was just a shock to see those headlines without being prepared for it to be out already. I just want to know who would do that to us. It just you three Glen, Kyla and Kevin and then of course some of Ashleys' people that know, like Ben and JJ on the label." Spencer told them and she could think about who would let the press know about them.

"Okay so you know who knows that means that you can get to know who it was that let that slip." Paula told Spencer and all of them at the table.

"Well, that is true but we only told the people that we trusted not too leak anything to the press, just so that we would get put peace." Spencer said.

"Spencer not to be negative or anything but don't you think that someone else on the label might know and they would have told the press." Madison said and looked at her best friend; she could tell that Spencer was upset about all of this she could only imagine what Ashley was doing at this point.

"That can be true bit I don't think that anyone would do something like that. They know what Ashley wanted and I thought that they were going to respect that." Spencer said and tears began to fall down her cheeks, slowly but still the tears were falling.

"I know that but you do know that Ashley is a pretty famous rockstar and she hadn't been doing anything lately that would get her any press so they might did that so that she would be show a bit more so that she wouldn't be forgotten." Madison said and when she said that Spencer could understand what that was coming from but she knew on some level that JJ wouldn't do that but she had heard Ashley telling her about the Cs' that she called some of the higher bosses on the label.

"That sounds about something that they might be doing but I'm sure that I'll know as soon as Ashley is here and she will be explaining all of this." Spencer said. "I'm sorry but I need to get some rest before Ashley comes.

Spencer was still sleeping when Ashley came to the Carlins she was almost as upset as Spencer had been earlier but she was also afraid of what Spencer was feeling she had heard about the panic attack that had happened in the store and now when it was common knowledge that they were together she wasn't sure on how to handle all of this. It was a mess but she knew that they had some support in the form family and friends that they could trust. Ashley now knew that she couldn't trust her record label to keep things from the press.

"I'm sorry about all that happened today." Ashley said as soon as she walked through the door at the Carlin home.

"Ashley, this isn't your fault." Arthur told her, Spencer told us that you guys only told people that you knew that you could trust not to leak but somehow there was someone that did that anyway.

"All I know is that it was someone at the label. I talked JJ and she said that she thought it was someone of the big shoots that leaked it. But I didn't tell them they probably over heard something and then made a story of it, just so that I would get some press but I don't feel like explain all of this but I need to make some sort of statement but I can't just tell them that it was some kind of made up story. But before I do anything I need to talk to Spencer."

"We understand that and I'm pretty sure that she will understand Ashley, you can go up to her, and she has been resting for awhile now." Paula said and looked at her daughters' girlfriend and you could tell that she was sad that it had happened so soon for them.

"Thanks so much. I'll be down after I have been talking to Spencer and after I'll tell you what we are going to do, just so you know before you hear it on the new or read the headlines." Ashley said and she left them.

The phone was ringing at the Carlin resident.

No one was answering at the first, ring, not the second or the third one, the fourth went by and the fifth signal was ringing at this point and it was still no answer the caller on the other line was getting a bit nervous. He was hoping that this was something that he wouldn't need to tell the family on the machine. Finally someone was picking up the phone.

"Hello, Carlin residence." Someone was saying to the person on the other line.

"Hello this is detective Keys. I'm looking to speak to either a Paula Carlin or an Arthur Carlin at this point."

"This is Paula. How can I help you?"

"I'm the lead on your daughters' case. I have some new regarding that." The detective said.

"I hope that it will be some good news." Paula said and added to herself, "We sure need it at this point."

Ashley had made it to Spencers' room just so that she would be able to talk to Spencer to see what they were going to do about all of this mess that someone had created.

"Spence, I heard what happened" was the first thing that Ashley said as she walked in to Spencers' room.

"It wasn't as bad as you think." Spencer said and looked at her girlfriend. Ashley took a few steps closer to Spencer and gave her a kiss.

"Don't you ever do that again. I almost lost you once and I don't want to lose you. Not now, not ever." Ashley said and as she said that Spencer pulled the brunette down on the bed and kissed her a bit more fervor than Ashley had done we she walked in. And as the brunette could feel that the blonde tried to deepen the kiss, she began to trace the outline of the younger girls' lower lip asking for entrance. Spencer gladly accepted that and as their tongues fought for dominance it didn't take them long to find a pace that was more than welcome. And as the two of them broke the kiss the held each other and never wanted to let go, both of them chose to hide their own head in the crock of the others neck.

"As much as I want to continue this." Ashley mumbled against Spencers' neck, "There is something that we need to talk about."

"I know." The blonde said.

"You know that I need to tell them something and I know what I want to tell them but it's up to you on how we are going to deal with this." Ashley said and looked at Spencer, trying to read the younger girls' face to see if she would be able to tell something from the expression on Spencers' face but so far there were nothing that would give Ashley some kind of sign in what way Spencer wanted to deal with the press.

"Ash, I would love to tell you that I don't have a problem with this." Spencer began to say but before she could finish that, Ashley cut her short.

"You have a problem, I understand that, but if it's okay with you I would love to tell them that we in fact are together and that is it."

"I think that it could be arranged, but I don't want to have them after me when I go out. I just want to be alone." Spencer said and the last part of the sentence was whispered but Ashley still could hear it and she understood where Spencer was coming from.

"I know what you mean, and I'll do my best to make sure that you'll be left alone for the time being."

"I would really love that." Spencer said and gave Ashley a quick kiss.

"Spencer, I would do anything for you. I hope that you know that."

"I do know that and I'm happy that you say that."

So that was it they had decide on how they would deal with the situation that they had gotten them self in but there were still some unanswered things that they would need to look more closely to but that was for another time.

Back with Paula on the phone.

"I think that this would be good news or I would say that it's good news." The detective said.

"Oh, I just hope that you are right I know that Spencer would love to hear them."

"Well I think so too, but before we tell her we wanted to tell both you and Mr. Carlin to make sure that this is right." Detective Keys said.

"No problem. So what is it that I need to confirm because I'm guessing that is why I or Arthur would be needed?" Paula said and she was hoping that this would lead to that Jen soon would be in jail.

"Well, some of our officers did pick up a woman that fitted the description that you all gave us of Jen."

"That is good so you want us down there to confirm that it's her?" Paula asked, she wanted to know if they would be able to finally begin to put all of this behind them and let Spencer and Ashley move forward and not being held back to the fact that Jen could be turning up any time soon.

"Well that is the thought, but we are pretty sure that it's her. She had some identification on her that told us that it would be her but we want to make sure, and if you say that it's her."

"I'll be down in as soon as I can, should I take Spencer with me."

"That won't be necessary but if you want to then you can." Detective Keys told Paula over the phone.

This was the new that they have been waiting for, for so long and this could be they day that they all have been waiting for.

Down at the policestation Paula was standing at the side trying to get them to understand that she needed to see this detective so that she could tell her daughter that was sitting on the other side of the room that it was true and that she had done the right thing. Paula was glad that she had Ashley keeping Spencer company during this little process.

Finally Paula had the chance to talk to the Keys and that meant that she soon would see that girl that for sure would be burning in hell.

"That is her." was the only thing that Paula said when she saw the girl that was on the photo that he showed her.

"Okay that means that Spencer will need to confirm that to just to be on the safe side." Detective Keys said.

"Why, I just told you that it's her." Paula asked and she wasn't happy about that fact.

"Well, I would say that we want to be sure on this, you see we wanted to be more sure that it was her before taking this to Ms. Carlin, she has been through a lot and we didn't want to put any more pressure on her." the detective told Paula.

"Okay, she is sitting and waiting for me, she has Ashley with her." Paula told Keys. And with that the two of them walked form the room where they had been sitting so that they could get Spencer and let her confirm what they already was pretty sure of was the beginning of the end for the girl that so abruptly had changed Spencer life.


	22. Chapter 22

This is the next part and I hope that you like this chapter and I'm really happy that you like this story and I'm almost done with it. I just have about two more chapters to write the others are already done. I have one more chapter to write and I'm going to write it now and then this story is done.

**Disclaimer: **nothing that you can relate to South of Nowhere is mine and the song isn't mine either and once again this is an ABBA song, and it's not the last one I'm going to use there are two more left. This ABBA song is _When I kiss the teacher_ and well why I used it you will see if you read the chapter.

Please leave me some feedback on what you think.

LoveAsh87: thanks and here is the next chapter.

Hugbuddy13: i know what you mean but I kind of wanted to have just a tiny bit drama but not too much.

**Chapter 22: When I kiss the teacher**

_Everybody screamed when I kissed the teacher  
And they must have thought they dreamed when I kissed the teacher  
All my friends at school  
They had never seen the teacher blush, he looked like a fool  
Nearly petrified 'cos he was taken by surprise  
When I kissed the teacher  
Couldn't quite believe his eyes, when I kissed the teacher  
My whole class went wild  
As I held my breath, the world stood still, but then he just smiled  
I was in the seventh heaven when I kissed the teacher_

"Spencer there is something that you need to do before we leave and after you have done that you can leave." Paula told her daughter as she walked up to her and Ashley.

"Okay." Spencer said she didn't have so much more to say she just wanted everything to do away.

"That is good and I think that you can take Ashley with you." Paula said and after she had said that she looked over to Detective Keys that just nodded to show that it was okay.

After that both of the girls walked over to Detective Keys and he told them what was happening and after he had done that, tears were falling down Spencers' cheeks this was something that she had waited for but at the same time she never thought that it would be happening and now it was.

Spencer saw the photo of the girl that they thought were Jen and all that Spencer could do was nod she didn't think that it was true and Ashley saw the picture and she could see that it was Jen. That was all that they did at the station to day and know it was the police turn to get to talk to Jen and see what she chose to do and after that talk to the DA about what they were going to do. Spencer had done all that she could do before the trial would begin.

"Spencer you have been to a great help with all of this and I hope to see you soon in a trial so that you can get a closure for this and really see that." Detective Keys said.

At the Carlin home Spencer was laying in her bed after all that she had been though today she needed the sleep that she could get at her home. Down stairs there were a big discussion on how they all would deal with this and how they should be helping Spencer through this. But they didn't get that long in to that discussion before Ashleys' phone began to ring and she took a glance on the display to see who was calling and she saw that it was her younger sister, calling her.

"I need to take this." Ashley said to the rest of the people that was sitting in the kitchen.

"Okay, you just go to the livingroom and talk so that you can be alone."

"Sure and thanks for understanding." Ashley said before picking up the phone.

"Ash, why didn't you say anything about you and Spencer being a couple outside the family and friends. I have to find out that from the tabloids I thought that you knew that you could tell me those things." Kyla said and she sounded pretty pissed that Ashley hadn't told her.

"Kyla, can you please just listen to me before begin to yell at me." Ashley asked her sister she knew that this was the only thing that she could say.

"Okay so tell me, why you don't tell me these things."

"Kyla, me and Spencer never told the press anything about us, it was someone that was leaking this to the press and us, and by that I mean I'm going to try and find who it was."

"That is great so are you going to be like official now?"

"I think so, that was we decided earlier today but that might change now. I kind of need to talk to Spencer about that." Ashley said and was thinking back to what had happened at the station earlier today."

"Why is that? I mean I can understand why Spencer might want to keep it on the downside but I still don't understand why you would do so?" Kyla said and she tried to figure out why they would keep it a secret.

"I don't want to tell you over the phone why Spencer might change her mind about all of this so why don't you just come over here and take Kevin with you; I know that you will tell him anyway so I think it better to tell him in person." Ashley said and she wasn't happy about telling someone about the events of the day.

The same night they all told the ones that didn't know what had happened earlier and Ashley had talked more to Spencer about that they should be doing about this thing and Spencer was still sure of that she wanted Ashley to tell the press what they needed to know but asked her to keep it down about the whole Jen thing and that was something that Ashley would have done anyway.

"I think that we need to do something a bit more fun." Arthur said, and all he could think about was all that Spencer had been through that his baby girl.

"I couldn't agree with you more dad." Glen said and he couldn't think about what had made this whole family and friends get together again. All he hoped was that Spencer would be oaky when all of this was coming to an end. He knew that he would have had some trouble with all of this if it had happened to him. It was hard on him even if he wasn't the one that ws in the main focus of this.

"I know what we can do." Kyla said and began to think about all of the things they all had done together when they were in high school.

"What can that be, you don't have that much of ideas." Ashley said, mostly to tease her sister and to make the mood a bit lighter.

"Well I was thinking that we all, and I mean all of us can tell one of our favorite things about our high schools years. I mean there must be some pretty good stories among the all of us." Kyla said and looked at her friends.

"that sounds like a good idea, babe." Kevin said and gave Kyla a kiss on her cheek.

"isn't they so cute." Spencer said, and to that coment Ashley couldn't help herself.

"yeah they are cute but not as cute as we are." Ashley said and after that she gave Spencer a peck on the lips, and Spencer was just smiling, that was something that she had needed.

"can someone please take some of this cuteness away from here." Madison said "I don't want to get in to a diabetic coma, because of all this sweetness." Everyone laughed at that, it was a nice way to get some of the tension away.

"So who is going to star?" Paula asked, she had a thought of that this was going to be pretty fun to hear about and maybe she and Arthur too could get in on this and share some of their stories too.

"I would say that it would be Kyla because it was her idea." Ashley said and put her tongue out towards her sister. It was pretty nice with some of the sister bickering at this point.

"fine I start." Kyla said and as she began to tell the story all of them began to giggle. "well, this was when I had this sub in my dramaclass and he had no idea about what we were doing he was pretty clueless and no one had the heart to tell him that he was kind of lost." Kyla continued her story and it wasn't that fun but at least she had shared something and then they continued around and the second to last person to tell a story was Madison and they all knew that she had some of the best ones and most of them include all of the friends.

"I hope you all remember our games of dare and dare." Madison said and when she said that they all knew what was to come and that was far from a good idea to tell

**Flashback**

Ashley and Spencer were sitting in the quad and waiting for their friends that was something that they always did, and this day was just like every other day but they had a feeling that this would changing soon.

"But look at that, isn't it the happy couple." Madison said as she walked up to them and sat there.

"Well, Madison, there must be at least one happy couple at this school and I don't think that you and Glen can be that. And then we have Aiden and no one can be in good relationship with him." Ashley mused and smiled to her friend. "Wait, don't forget my annoying sister, she and Aiden would be a disaster waiting on happen."

"You do know that she is right." Spencer said and as she said that Ashley just smiled, she was happier than she had been in a long time and Spencer was the reason for that.

"Okay, whatever. But as you can see they are all coming this way and Clay too." Madison said and looked over at the friends that were walking this way.

During this lunchbreak they all decide that it would be a great idea to play dare and dare, no one wanted the truth therefore it would be some more dare. This game could go on for days and days before someone stood there as a winner and most of the time Ashley stood there as a winner but today was the day that they would make sure that she wouldn't be winning. Well it was more like Madison had made up a plan on how she could make that happen and she had include Spencer on that one just to make sure that she was okay with the dare. If there was something that Madison didn't want to do was to be the reason that Ashley and Spencer were getting in to a fight because if her dare.

"Okay, who is the first one out?" Madison asked her friends.

"Well all of us can draw a name and see who we are going to get." Spencer said "one at the time, and then make sure that no one gets themselves. We don't want anyone that cheats."

"I'm with Spence on this one." Ashley said and that was no surprise for anyone. And all of them agreed on that.

Spencer was the one that drew her name first and it turned out that she got her own brother that could be good. Ashley got Aiden and she had the best idea on what she was going to make him do but nothing would ever compare to what Madison had in store for Ashley, and with the luck that Madison had she had gotten Ashley that left Aiden with Kyla and Kyla had gotten Spencer and Glen had Madison.

"I can go first." Spencer said, "So Glen what can you do for me." When he realized that it was his own sister that was going to make him do a dare he knew that he was out no way in hell that he was going to do anything that she wanted him to do.

"Spence, you don't have to make up anything, I will be one down the next time cause I'm out." Glen said before he even had gotten a dare.

"Fine by me. So everyone heard that." Spencer asked, and everyone around the table nodded to confirm that they had heard Glen.

"That leaves us to know who Glen got and let that person now what he/she will be doing." Kyla said.

"Well Maddie, let me see what you can do, well I think that you should go up to Sherrie and tell her that you think she looks hot in her cheer-uniform." Glen said with a smirk, this could go either way that was something that he knew.

"Okay, is that all that I'm going to do?" Madison asked just to make sure, she didn't want to back down at this dare, and she was going to win this time.

"Okay Aiden you are going to go to the nurses office and ask for some tampons and then put it up your nose like you have a nosebleed and go like that for the rest of the day." Ashley said and she was laughing.

"Finally my turn." Madison said and smirked they all knew that she had Ashley and this was going t be a war this time. She told the her dare to Ashley and Ashley knew what she was going to do, but before she had accepted it she had looked at Spencer to make sure that she was okay with this. This could backfire pretty badly for them, all of them if the school found out why this was done. Soon after Ashley had accepted the dare that she had gotten from Madison the bell rang to indicate that the lunchbreak was over and that it was time for the next class. This was the time for Ashley to make sure that she was doing her dare.

As all of the friends beside Glen and Aiden walked in to their Englishclass, they couldn't help but smile and laugh about what was going to happen during this class, some of the other students had heard and seen that the group of friends was up to one of their games and somehow they had an idea that something was going down in this class and they couldn't help but to wait and see what it was.

The teacher began to take the attendance on the class and soon after that there were some questions that they should be answering and that was what lead to Ashley taking the courage that she needed to pull this off, if she did she knew that she was going to win cause nothing could be worse than what Madison just had dare her to do.

Ashley stood up from her seat and took a deep breath this was it, she couldn't back down now. Madison wasn't going to win this, that was the last thought that ran through her head before walking up to Ms. Wilson, she was an old teacher, one of the eldest at school and this was sure going to give her some detention, she was just hoping that Ms. Wilson would be able to understand that this was a joke, or at least kind of a joke.

Ashley stood in front of their teacher and this was it. She turned Ms. Wilson so that she was facing her and then she grabbed the teachers' head to hold it steady and then she planted a kiss right in the lips of Ms. Wilson and the older woman just stood there and had no idea about what just had happened to her.

Ashley had done the dare that Madison had given her and that was the only good thing and as Ashley walked back to her seat she could her the teachers' voice.

"Ms. Davies I'll be seeing you at 15.00 to day after school for detention and I think that you can take your friends with you today, which mean Ms. Woods, Ms. Duarte and Ms. Carlin." Ms. Wilson told them, and that was something that all of them had accepted and on some level known that was going to happen.

**End flashback**

"So that was the reason that all of you had detention that day." Paula said and as Madison had told this story there had been a lot of laughs and it was definitively something that no one would be able to top.

"Mum, you are right." Spencer said.

"I think that this was great idea, and I never thought that I would ever hear so much on what you kids did in High School. And I can't believe that you got away with so much of it." Arthur said and looked at all of them and that was when Glen opened his mouth and said something that made them all laugh.

"I think that we should be thanking Spencer for that, whenever someone was I trouble with the principal, we just told him that we were with Spencer and that he could check with her. And when he did she always back us up, he didn't think that she would ever do anything that would get her into trouble." Glen said and Spencer nodded, the truth was that her innocent look had made them get out of trouble a lot of times and most of the time she had been the one that was behind them. However that was something that she didn't want to confess and neither did anyone else.

Both Ashley and Spencer left the room for a minute or two just so that they could talk.

"Spencer, I'm sorry about all of this I know that I said that I was going to help you and I'm still going to do so but first of all I need to talk to the press and let them know. And then I'm going to make some other calls."

"I understand Ash, I know that you will help me." Spencer said and when Ashley heard that she couldn't help but to take the blonde in her arms and then she place a kiss on the top of the blondes head.

"I'm so sorry that this happened." Ashley whispers.

"Ash, this isn't your fault. You couldn't help that this happened but I'm glad that you were her today and helped me at the station." Spencer said and this time she understood what had happen today and there began to fall down her cheeks this was going to be a hard time for all of them.

"Spence, I know that but I wanted to protect you and I felt like I couldn't do that. And besides that I had this surprise planned for the two of us and." After that she was cut off by Spencer placing a kiss on her lips.

"I know what you mean but let's just take that some other when we both feel that we need it. I'm beat and I need to get some sleep."

"I understand Spence." Ashley said and with that they walked to Spencers' room and as the blonde climb in to her bed, Ashley was on her way out from the room when she heard that soft voice ask her something.

"Please stay."

"Are you sure?" Ashley asked she wanted to be sure that this was what Spencer wanted.

"Yeah." Spencer said and with that Ashley walked back to the bed and laid down beside Spencer and took the blonde in her arms and held her and Ashley could feel how the blondes' breath began to even out and after about half an hour Spencer was a sleep. Ashley place a chased kiss on the top of Spencers' head before heading down the stairs to make some calls to the press and her agents so that they knew that she was on her way to make a statement.

"I just wanted you all to know, that I am in a relationship with Spencer, like the reports are saying but that is all that I can tell you at this point. I don't want to put any more pressure on her at this time. She has been through a lot the last couple of months and I ask you all too please leave her alone." Ashley said as she had the press assemble in front of her, this was something that she didn't like but at the same time it was necessary for all of them to make things clear.

"One question though." Some reporter said, and continued "this Spencer is the same girl that you visited at the hospital a few months back?"

"Yes, that is all that I can confirm and I would like to it to stay that way when the both of us feel like we can give any more information about this we sure will. So would you please leave both me and her alone for awhile it will be highly appreciated." Ashley said and smiled, she was hoping that all of this wouldn't backfire at them


	23. Chapter 23

So here is the next part and I do think that I could say that this is a bit more drama then normally but I feel like there are something missing but I don't know what it is, and the next chapter will continue where this chapters leave us, otherwise it would be a really long one.

**Disclaimer:** first of I don't own the song, walk idiot walk that song belongs to the Hives and whoever is the composer to that song and second of all I don't own SoN that is the creators that do and I think that the network also owns a part of it.

**hugbuddy13:** The press is kind of annoying and to some level they can be backing down, I'm not that good on portraying that so there for it will seem like they are backing down but there will still be a part the story.

**Coachkimm:** it won't be ending with this chapter but the story is written and that is done and I'm working on my other stories, with this chapter its 6 chapters left. So I hope that you might read some of them.

**Chapter23: Walk idiot walk**

_See that idiot walk  
See that idiot talk  
See that idiot shock up his name on the backboard  
See that robot walk  
See that robot talk  
See that robot write up his name on the battle  
They say this is all I need you to get by  
The truth is, baby, it's a lie-ie-ie-ie-ie_

Today is the day that Spencer is going to be in court just being there will be hard for her but she wants to be there when the trial starts just so that she could see Jen and show her that the other girl can't keep her away.

There is no one that thinks that is a good idea but they knew that if Spence wanted that they should be there with her.

Ashley had been a real support for all of them she had tried all that she could think of to make sure that no one would come near them and kept the press away even though there had been some unfortunate events that had occurred during the last month that had lead up to this day.

They worst part of all of this is there had been some tabloids that somehow had managed to get to Jen when she was in jail, no one wanted to post bail for her and she didn't have the money to post it on her own. Jen had sold some of her stories, or more like her life story to one of the biggest tabloids in the country and managed to get some money for a lawyer that was pretty good.

**Flashback**

Kyla was standing in line just so that she could pay for some stuffy that she had bought and she wasn't looking at anything in particular when one of those magazines, well magazine would be to call it too much, it was a tabloid, had a huge headline and a big picture on the cover, Ashley Davies destroyed my relationship. That had caught Kylas' eyes and she wanted to know what that was so she took a closer look and saw that Jen had told the magazine that Ashley was the reason that she was sitting where she was and nothing else but the truth would come out at the trial and they would know what Ashley had done.

Kyla called Ashley and told her what she had seen and told her that this would somehow backfire so that Spencer could get in to a depression and blame herself for all of this that had been happing for the two of them.

When Ashley heard that she was far from happy, she wanted to know who had written that and why they had chosen to do so too. This would probably lead to some kind of a war between Ashley and the tabloids. They should have been happy that it didn't happen before, when they published picture of them before when everyone knew that it was something that Ashley didn't want but mostly that Spencer didn't want that.

Sure Ashley had told the press that she and Spencer was dating but they hadn't told anyone the reason outside the family and some friends the reason that Spencer had been at the hospital and now it had been all over the press and Ashley knew that this was going to be a hard for all of them but mostly on Spencer.

Spencer had gotten a long way from the girl that had been at the hospital and she was on her way to build her life up again and Ashley had this far been a part of that life but now she didn't know if that would happen.

"Spencer I know that you know what the press is writing about this and that Jen has been doing some things that she shouldn't be doing but I promise that none of that will be any part of the upcoming trial." Ashley said as soon as she could get in touch with her girlfriend and this conversation was something that she didn't want to have over the phone and that meant that she had gone to the Carlins' just so that she could talk to Spencer.

I know that Ash and everyone says that but it's just so hard to believe it and I don't know what to say or how to react to all of this and I just want them to know that all that she is saying is just lies."

"Spencer, just try and block that out. I know that I am."

"Ash, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be in this mess. All of this is my fault." Spencer said and she believed that if it wasn't for her no one would be in this mess and she had a hard time believing when the people around her told her that nothing of this was her fault.

"Spencer, I'm just going to say this once, and this is the truth. Just listen to me."

"Okay." Was all that Spencer could get out but she wasn't that sure that she would believe anything that Ashley said at this point.

"Spencer, this is not your fault. The press just doesn't have anything to say and that means that they just grasps for the straws that Jen and her lawyer are planting, they just want to be seen so that they could get some press." Ashley said "and I know that if I didn't care about you, I would never be here. Do you understand me?" Ashley asked and wanted an answer from Spencer.

"I understand, but I still hard to think that someone actually cares about me in this situation. I just don't know how I should be handling all of this."

**End flashback**

This is how most of the days have been ever since the day that they had found out that Jen was going to the press, well more like the tabloids and it was hard on them all. They all knew that there was a bunch of lies but it wasn't easy for them to get Spencer to understand that.

The next day was the first court day and Spencer was looking really pail and no one wanted her to be there but she had decided that she would be there.

"Spencer, are you sure that this is something that you should be doing?" Arthur asked as the whole Carlin family and Ashley walked in to the court room.

"dad, don't worry about this I know what I need to do and this is one thing that I need to do." Spencer said and looked at her father. Ashley was holding on to Spencer and slowly intertwined their fingers and at the same time using her thumb tracing patterns on Spencer hand.

"If you say so I will trust you but if you feel like you won't handle anything that is going on in there just let us know and then we will leave with you." Arthur said and he was really worried about what was going to happen.

"All rise for Judge Campbell." The clerk said as the judge entered and sat down.

"So this is the state versus Jennifer Greenfield." The judge said.

"David Scott representing Miss Greenfield." The lawyer said and this was just the start of it all and this was far from then end and everyone knew this.

"Lindsay Fields for the state."

"And how what is the charges against Ms Greenfield?" the judge asked and this was the first time that they all would know for sure what the charges would be against Jen.

"First one is spousal abuse and assault, and then we also want to add obstruction of justice." Lindsay said, and for Spencer and the rest of them it seemed like there were something that was missed. One thing for sure was that they had wanted to have Jen at charges for attempted murder to the second degree, but that would have been too much but it felt like there was something that was missing.

"Okay, so then we know the charges, how does the defendant plead?" Judge Campbell said and looked over at the defendant.

"Not guilty your honor." Mr. Scott said and Jen nodded in agreement. This was almost too much for Spencer who could feel that her tears began to build up in her eyes and it wasn't that long before she could feel that her tears were slowly beginning to fall down her cheeks. Ashley could see this and took the blondes' hand and squeezed it just to tell her that she would be right her and not going anywhere and after doing that the brunette intertwined their fingers.

"Spence, are you sure that this is okay, we can leave." Ashley whispered, just so that she could be sure that this was what Spencer wanted. Spencer nodded her head to confirm that this was something that she wanted to do.

"Okay." Ashley said and placed a small kiss on the blondes' head and she still held on to Spencers' hand.

The first person that was taking the stand too tell the judge what had happened was the doctor that had been on Spencers' case, when she first had gotten to the hospital, and that went pretty good and the it was the officers that had taken the first statement that Spencer had given them about what she had been through the night that she had gotten to the hospital.

"So could you state your name to the court and your occupation, just so that we know?" Mr. Scott said, and looked at the officer that was sitting in the stand.

"My name is Jacob Peterson, and work as an officer at the policeforce." He stated, just as he had been asked.

"So what can you tell us about the night in question?" the lawyer asked and Ashley had a bad feeling about all of this.

"We were called down to the hospital, because there was a woman there that had been beaten badly. And she wanted to press charges." Jacob said and he didn't know where this was going.

"Okay, so you and your partner that would be Officer Martin."

"Yes, that is correct me and Jordan was called down to the hospital." Jacob confirmed.

"Okay, so when you got there what did you do?"

"We went to see Ms. Carlin she was the one that had been assaulted. When we got there she told us what had happened and she also named the person that had done this to her. And she told us as much as she could remember at the time."

"Okay, so all that she did was naming the person that had assaulted her and told you how that had happened?"

"Yes."

"So is the person in this room at this point?"  
"I do think so; she said that the person that assaulted her was a Jennifer Greenfield."

"Okay thank you for that."

"Does the prosecutor have any questions to this witness?" judge Campbell asked.

"Not at this point, but we want to have the chance to recall the witness." Lindsay said.

"Okay, you may leave the stand officer Peterson."

The trial went on and so far there had been nothing that would tell this story otherwise than what Spencer had told the officers but it wasn't over yet.

"We will continue this tomorrow at 9.00 AM." The judge said.

"All rise for Judge Campbell."

As Spencer began to leave the court room she could see how Jen looked at her and that look was nothing that would be good. Jen just sneer to all of them and at that point Ashley realized that something was going to come up that no one really knew what it could be.

Spencer got home with all of them but she was really quiet and that was far from good, the fact that she had been in the court today was not good for her and it was defiantly not good for the relationship she had with Ashley and this had just been the first day. The DA had presented the case and they had questioned some of the officers that had been on this case and taken Spencers' statement and the doctors that Spencer had been to.

Spencer slowly walked up to her room and just went to bed after she had eaten her dinner she hadn't said anything to anyone and she was slowly beginning to close in on herself and that would just lead to her being in no shape to be at this trial and that was nothing but good.

It had been a few days in to the trial and it was Jens' turn to take the stand this time and on some level they all knew that this was something that Spencer shouldn't be hearing and they all tried to get her to leave the court room, just so that she wouldn't hear what Jen would say. Everyone knew that this girl was going to twist all that she said and she would be getting help from her lawyer at the time.

"Ms. Greenfield, may I call you Jen." David asked as he began his cross of the girl that was suspected for what Spencer had been through."

"You can do that." Jen said and smiled, you could tell that she was trying to show her best side, the side that she hadn't shown to anyone in a long time.

"Okay, Jen. So could you tell me and the rest of us what happened that night?"

"Well, as far as I can remember me and Spencer and some of her friends went out and we all had a good time. And after that both me and Spencer left, she didn't feel that well and I thought that we should go home so that she could get some rest."

"So you were out on a club with Ms. Carlin?"

"Yes, and some of her friends too."

"Thank you for that and what happened when you got home?"

"I and Spencer got into an argument and unfortunately that didn't go that well. We kind of broke up that night." Jen said and she had managed to press some tears to show, like that was going to fool anyone.

"So you broke up with your girlfriend the night that she was assaulted?"

"Yes, or well she broke up with me. And I was really sad that that happened because I really care about her and I still love her." Jen said and pretended to sob as she said that.

"So where does she get this that you hit her that much that she needed to get to the hospital?"

"That I don't know, I can say that I lost my cool for awhile and slapped her. That much I can say and I'm so sorry for that, but me hitting her is just not right I could never do that." Jen said and know tears were falling done her cheeks and just for a second she looked over at Spence and just smiled, and it wasn't one of those smiles that shows some form of affection, she was telling her that once this was over. Spencer soon would be back at the hospital. No one but Spencer saw this and it all lead to Spencer begin to think about all that had happened since that night that she had broken up with Jen and then met up with Ashley again and beginning to date, she had thought that her life finally would be ending up at a good note and maybe she would get an end to this. But it seem like all of this was her fault, she was the one that had broken it up, and she wouldn't have done that nothing of this would have happened.

All that was going through Spencers' head at this point was that she was to blame for all of this that they had been going through and that she was the one that had done something wrong and she couldn't see what everyone else saw when they were looking at her. Spencer couldn't see herself as a victim for this crime, she saw herself as the reason for this happening.

"That was all Jen." David said and smiled.

"Okay, so Ms. Fields do you have any questions." The judge asked.

"I do your honor."

"Ms. Greenfield you may answer the questions that the DA are going to ask you." The judge said.

"okay, Ms. Greenfield may I call you Jen." Lindsay asked.

"Fine, you can do that. I don't care." That was the attitude that had gotten her in to this mess at the first place and the attitude that Ashley knew that the girl had and Madison did the same and that had been something that they had waited for to show.

"good. So Jen, you are saying that you just slapped Spencer?"

"yes, that I what I'm saying."

"Okay, that isn't what I have heard. From what I have heard, you hit your ex-girlfriend, the night that she broke up with you."

"That is her story but I know what I did." Jen stated and she didn't show any emotions when she was saying this.

"Okay, but according to the report that she made the night of the incident she said that you hit her in the face with your fist."

"I didn't do that." Jen stated and showed no signs of any emotions to what she was accused of.

The interrogation continued but the DA couldn't get anymore at this point from Jen and the DA knew that it was nothing more she could do at this point, she needed to know more about what had happen that night and there was just one person that could do that and that would be the hard part. To get the family to understand what needed to be done.

"This will continue on Monday at 9.15." the clerk let all of them know and that was it for this week.

The DA got a hold of the Carlins and wanted to talk to them and tell them that she needed Spencer to take the stand and tell the court what she had been through, that would be necessary at this point just so that they could be surer on that it will be a conviction. That meant that Jen would go to prison.


	24. Chapter 24

This is the next chapter I hope that you all like this one. Please leave me some feedback it will be appreciated.

**Disclaimer**: I think that you all know them right know, but I just want you to know that the song is by Jamie Walters and it was featured a numerous of times on Beverly Hills 90210, the original series.

**hugbuddy13:** this may answer some that and I can just agree with you.

**Coachkimm:** thanks a lot. And I think that you did.

**Chapter 24: Hold on**

_Hold On, 'till you feel a little stronger  
Hold On to me  
Hold On, everything's gonna be alright  
Just Hold On to me tonight_

Spencer had heard what the DA wanted to talk to her about and she knew that this was something that she needed to do. After she had heard what the DA wanted her to do she wasn't sure if she would be strong enough to do that.

"Spencer, I know what the DA said and I also heard what you told her." Ashley said and looked at her girlfriend, she felt like she was going to fall apart, and yet she wasn't the one that was approached about this; she wasn't the one that was going to have to take the stand and tell the whole world what had happened. It was Spencer who was that person and yet Ashley felt like she was the one that was falling apart.

She didn't know if she would be strong enough for the younger girl if she would be able to help the blonde though this, she wasn't even sure if she would be able to hear Spencer telling the court her story. They had all hoped that what Spencer had told the officers and the detective when they took her reports. But now it seemed like that wasn't enough for the DA to be sure that it will get them a conviction.

"Ash, I know how you feel but I need to do this. I need to show her that she can't put me down. Show her that I'm stronger than she thinks that I am." Spencer said and as she said this Ashley began to understand where Spencer was coming from. Ashley just pulled the blonde in to a hug, and she never wanted to let go of her, she wanted Spencer to feel safe and this was the only way that she could do that.

The weekend past by quickly and it had been a hard time for all of them. As soon as one of them, I didn't matter how it was, step outside the door there were at least one reporter and much more of the photographers there to take pictures and they wanted to know what this was all about and how they all dealt with this and besides the trial they wanted to know about the relationship between Spencer and Ashley and how that was working, when Spencer had been dragged in to this trial, that was how the media was spinning it. It was never mention that it was Spencer who had been the victim in this mess and that was something that they were happy about but at the same time it was hard not to tell them the truth.

Ashley knew that on Monday that would all be gone, after Spencer had give her statement in court it would be all over the news and all that they could do was hope that it would soon be over.

As the Carlins walked in to the court during the Monday morning, it would give them some time to prepare for what they were going to hear when Spencer was on the stand they had heard some parts of what had happened but not the whole story and this was the time that they were going to hear that and that also included Ashley and Madison. The ones that had talked to Spencer from the policeforce had a pretty clear image of what had happened but that was something that was on record and no one had access to besides the officers that was working on this case.

The trial began and it was nothing new that happened and the judge told them all that they would take a 45 minute long break for lunch and after that continue this. There were no one that reacted to that, and today was a day that Spencer had been even more closed off too all of them than she had been earlier in the trial and this was far from good.

During the break all of them tried to talk to the blonde but she didn't say anything and it was really hard on them all, that they couldn't talk to their daughter, friend or girlfriend. They had all thought that Ashley would be able to make Spencer say something but she was even more closed off to the brunette then to the others.

Inside of Spencers' heads the thought were going in a high speed and she had no idea on what she would be doing or saying to anyone, she wanted to talk to them but she couldn't do it. It was just too hard for her. Every time she thought that she had the courage to tell them something a thought about what happened that night got to her, it was more like the thoughts of what could have happened and what Jen had said to her earlier.

"The state calls Specter Carlin to the stand." Lindsay said as they all had come back from the break. And this was the most important part of the trial, Spencer telling them what had happened that night, how she had experienced the night.

Spencer took the oath and that was the beginning of something that she would never forget.

"Ms. Carlin who are you feeling?" Lindsay began to ask, she wanted to make sure that Spencer felt somewhat comfortable in this position.

"I wouldn't say that I feel good. There are so much that happens around me. It kind of hard to focus." Spencer said and so far this had been the first thing that they believed when she had said something.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Do you mind if I call you Spencer?" The DA continued.

"No, not really." Spencer said and bit her lip, she was nervous she wasn't sure that she did the right thing. But the hardest part for her was that she always seemed to go for some eye contact with Jen that was sitting with her lawyer and smirking. As she knew something that no one else knew.

"That is good. So Spencer why don't you tell us what happened that night?" Lindsay said and smiled to Spencer, letting her know that it was all okay and that they would wait for her.

"I just remember that I went out with Jen, who at the time was kind of my girlfriend and some of my friends, we went to a club just so that we could have some fun and relax."

"That sound pretty nice so what happened more that night?"

"The next thing I can remember is that I and Jen are fighting about something, it was kind of a break up. I told her that I didn't want to see her anymore. And that it was for the best."

"What happened after that?"

"After I had said that." Spencer began and had to swallow her tears that were building up.

"Just take your time; we want to hear what you have to say."

"I remember that she hit me with her fist, I'm not sure where she hit me, all I can remember is that when she did I fell down and I think that I hit my head."

"Was there something more that happened?"

"I don't know." Spencer said and this time she couldn't hold back her tears that was falling down her cheeks in a slow pace and it was break the hearts of her friends and family.

"Okay, that is not a problem, what was the next thing that you can remember?"

"The next thing I remember is that I'm at the hospital and the doctor is telling me that I had some surgeries and that one of my lunges had collapsed and some other medical stuff. I didn't pay that much of attention to that I think that it says what my injuries were in my medical records." Spencer said and this was hard on her but the DA knew that she needed Spencer to tell the court what had happened and this was a good start."

"That is good and after that what happened?"

"I told the police what happened and then some kind of investigation started and after sometime I was supposed to be leaving the hospital but before I could do that." Once again Spencer had a hard time telling her story about what had happened to her, this was harder then she had thought that it would be.

At the same time Ashley had a hard time to really take in all that Spencer was telling them. She almost had as a hard time coping with this as Spencer had all of this was just too much for the brunette she had fallen in to tears a numerous of times but she wanted to be strong but she didn't know how she could be that if she saw Spencer breaking down in front of her and hearing all of this but at the same time she knew that she needed to know what really happened to Spencer she knew some parts of all that Spencer had been though but not all of it.

"Okay that is good Spencer that you have told us this so far. But was there something else that happened that you want to tell us about?"

"When I was at the hospital. Jen came and visit me, I'm not sure on how she managed that but she did. I was in my bed waiting for my friends and I thought that she was Ashley when she came to visit." Spencer said and this was something that was as hard for her to tell as the previous things that she had told them.

"Spencer, I know that this is hard for you but you need to tell us what happened."Lindsay tried to tell Spencer and the young blonde knew that all too well. She collected her thoughts once more, so that she could start this story once again; it had really taken a lot of her powers to tell them what she had been though.

"When Jen came to the hospital, she first told me that she was sorry for everything. And I, I , I thought that she was nice to do that but just a minute after that she told me that I had made a mistake. By going to the police." After that she took a deep breath to tell the rest of what had happened. "She told me that I should watch my back and that I wasn't safe. That she had friends everywhere that could help her. When she was telling me this she had a tight grip on my neck. I think that she was trying to strangle me." Spencer said and when she had said that she just looked down and tears were falling slowly and quietly down her cheeks all of this had been too much on her and she wasn't sure on how it all would play out.

There were a jury sitting in the room and as they had heard all that Spencer had said you could tell that they just wanted all of this to be over.

After Spencer had answered the questions that the DA had for her, the DA had asked for recesses just so that Spencer could collect her before Jens' lawyer was going to cross her. That would be the hardest part in the whole trial for Spencer at least for now, that might change.

"So Spencer." The lawyer began.

"It's Ms. Carlin." Spencer almost whispered as the lawyer began to ask her questions.

"You said that you don't remember that much of the night in question."

"Yeah." Spencer said in a weak voice and as she said that her family could tell that she was on the verge of break and it wouldn't be pretty. They were all praying that she would get through this and still be some part of her old self.

"So how do you know that it was Ms. Greenfield that this to you. I mean you can't be sure on that she was the one that did all that damaged to you. Can you?" Mr. Scott said and he was really pressing Spencer to the point that she was going to break.

"No, I can't be sure, but" more than that she couldn't say before Mr. Scott cut her off.

"So you are saying that someone else could have done that damaged to you?" he asked and he wanted to make sure that Spencer said that.

"Yes, but" once again she was cut off before she could finish what she was going to say, and as she was answering his question she had broken in to a numerous pieces and the tears were falling freely now, this was something she hadn't expected to happen, sure she had know that the lawyer would be hard but this had just been too much.

That was the last thing that happened that day and Spencer was a shell and no one could talk to her, she now were sure that all of this was her fault. She was a wreck; this was harder than anyone had thought it would be. It had been hard on them all but Spencer had thought that she was going to be able to make it through this trial but it now seemed like she wouldn't be able.

"Spence, I know that you want to be in court for the days that are left but I don't think that is the best idea." Ashley said as the two of them were in Spencers' room.

"Ash, please." Was all that Spencer could say and Ashley knew exactly what Spencer was saying and as the blonde laid down on her bed under her covers, Ashley slowly laid herself down and held on to Spencer, that was all that she could do. Ashley had no words that she could use, to comfort the blonde; all the brunette could do was holding Spencer and never letting go.

The one thing that went through Ashleys' head was that Spencer needed some kind of human touch, that showed that she wasn't alone and that she could be holding on to the older girl and if she did everything would work out.

"Spence, I know that you are hurting, and all I can say is that this is hurting me too. I can feel your pain. And I just want you to know that you can hold on to me and I hope that it will make you stronger." Ashley said and she held the blonde even harder and placed small kisses on the blondes' cheek and head.

"Thank you." Was all that Spencer managed to get out?

"That is what I'm here for" Ashley said and gave Spencer a kiss. "I love you." Ashley whispered and placed one more kiss on the blonde.

Spencer and Ashley didn't go to the trial for the remaining part that was something that they all had decided that was for the best. All that the blonde could do was laying in her bed and when she did, Ashley was laying there to just holding her, and showing her that she had meant all that she had told her before.

The next time either of them would be setting their foot in that court room will be the day that the jury leaves their verdict. No one really knew how that would play out but from what they could tell from what they had seen was that Jen was going to be put away for a long time. But then again they wouldn't really know how the mind of the juries would be working.

It was about three day later when Ashley got a call from Madison when she and Spencer was laying on the sofa and watching some movie that they just had put in to make the time go away, once again to was some movie that Spencer wanted Ashley to see. Spencer wanted Ashley to learn that there were something more than American movies that was worth watching and this time it was a comedy about love, love that wasn't easy something that they both knew something about.

"Spence, I need to get this, it's Madison." Ashley said and gave Spencer a kiss on the cheek. She knew how important any kind of human contact that was between her and Spencer was and that was something that she needed to give and wanted to give to the younger girl.

"Okay." Was all that Spencer said to the brunette. Ashley walked out from the livingroom so that she would be able to talk to the Latina alone and then tell Spencer what was going on.

"Hey, sorry about that I just needed to tell Spencer." Ashley said.

"I understand, and I'm happy that you are there with her. How is she doing?"

"I don't know what to say, I mean she is coping and that is all that I can say. I mean she is afraid and need some kind of reassurance almost all the time and she needs any kind of contact." Ashley said and she was scared of what could happen if Jen didn't get convicted.

"I hope that she will be feeling better, I just called to let you know that the jury has a verdict and I thought that you two might want to be here when the verdict is presented."

"I think that we could be there I just want to make sure that Spencer is ready for that. I don't want her to be there if she doesn't think that she can't handle all of that. I don't want any more than the necessary pressure that she is under to be too much for her." Ashley said and from the tone of her voice you could tell that she was afraid of what could happen to Spencer and she was concerned.

"Well, I think that I can say that Ashley Davies has grown up to be pretty good human being and no longer sees herself as the first priority." Madison said and that was something that she had seen slowly growing for the time that Ashley had been back and that was a good thing and they all knew that this was something that was going to last this time.

"I'm glad that you think so but I'm going to make sure that Spencer is okay and then I'll text you about what we are going to do, if we will be there. I hope that we'll be there. I think that she needs it so that she can put an end to all of this."

"Okay, so I'll hear from you later on." Madison said.

"Spence, Madison just told me that the jury has a verdict and she was wondering if you wanted to be there as the verdict is told." Ashley asked as she was holding the blonde in her arms.

"I would like that but I'm not sure that I'm ready for that." Spencer said and she was really fragile and Ashley wasn't sure on how she should approach this.

"I think that we should be there. I believe that this would be a good closure for you, so that you can put all of this behind you." Ashley said and as she said this Spencer turned her head up just a bit so that she could look her girlfriend in the eyes, and when she saw what Ashley had meant she knew what she needed to do. Spencer just nodded and that was all the confirmation that Ashley needed and the two of them left the couch and took Ashleys car back to the court and when they came there was a lot of reporters there and they didn't know how they should act but as they walked up some security guards came and helped them to get to the court room.

"Does the jury have a verdict?" the judge asked.

"Yes we do your honor" the chairman of the jury said and stood up with the paper with the verdict on and he gave it to one of the guards that were in the room. The guard walked up with it to the judge and the judge read through it, after that he gave it back to the guard that gave it back to the chairman of the jury.

"And what is it?" the judge asked.

"We the jury, find the defendant guilty on all the charges."

"Thank you and now is your job as a jury done and you are all free to go. But before you all leave I would like to say thank you for your job and I would highly appreciate and I think the same thing goes for the victim and her family and friends if you all could not talk about this." The judge said and all of them in the jury seemed to understand what the judge asked from them.

This had been a hard time for all of them but in the end it had been a good ending and hopefully this would have made the relationship between Spencer and Ashley stronger and at the moment it really seemed like that. This had been a point that could have broken all of this and Spencer but Ashley had understood and she never put any more pressure on Spencer then what they thought that she would be able to handle and that was what had made this relationship so much stronger.


	25. Chapter 25

This chapter is a bit short then the other ones and I couldn't get it out the way I wanted it to be and this was the last chapter I wrote.

**Disclaimer:** not anything that you may recognize and the song is Abba once again and there will be one more.

**hugbuddy13: **That is true and here is the next part, not thatmuch more to say hope you enjoy this chapter too.

**Coachkimm:** thanks and here is the next part.

Please leave me some feedback I need it, mostly for my other stories that I want to finish cause all the chapters for this story is done as I had said before.

**Chapter 25: Lay all your love on me**

_Don't go wasting your emotion  
Lay all your love on me  
Don't go sharing your devotion  
Lay all your love on me_

At had been a week since the verdict in the trial had fallen and things had slowly began to go back to normal but there were still some things that hadn't gone back to how they were before all of this had happen.

Ashley had a hard time really connecting with Spencer she had tried to talk to the blonde but she couldn't reach her and it was slowly tearing them apart but Ashley had her mind made up that she wouldn't let Spencer down and definitively don't let her go at any cost so there for she was going to do something special for them both.

A few months past by and finally Spencer began to come back to the person that she once had been but she still had some problems with all that she had been going though and they all knew that Ashley had been to a big help with all of this and the of course also that Arthur had managed to get Spencer to go and talk to someone that had a bit more experience in this field and it had helped them all and the truth was that some of them had also talked to this therapist about how they felt and what they could do to help the blonde with all of this.

Ashley had an idea on what she wanted to do at this point, she knew that Spencer probably would agree but she wanted to be sure so that she had talked to Kyla about this.

"Ky, I know that she would probably agree to this but I don't want to push her if she isn't ready and I feel like she is going to agree only because she thinks that I want her to do it and then she will begin to close up again."

"Ash, have you even heard yourself. You a pretty sure that Spencer is ready and if you think so why don't you just ask her and if you are afraid that she thinks that you are pushing her, then there is something else that you can do."

"What can I do besides ask her?"  
"Well I think that maybe just giving her, her own key would be a start and then later you can ask her. But as far as I can tell it's like she already is living with you." Kyla told her sister.

"That might be right bur it still feels like I'm the one taking all of the steps and I don't want her to resent me or hate me."

"Ash, listen to me, I think that if she wasn't ready for any of this she would tell you that and you would understand her. I honestly believe that you two have been through about that much that you can tell each other how you feel and what you want."

"Okay so you might have a point but what if …" Ashley began to say but she never had a chance to complete that before her sister cut her off.

"Ash, just listen to yourself and stop asking you all this what if questions because that won't help you a bit." Kyla said and grabbed her sister by the older girls shoulder trying to get her point to her sister, and this time it seemed like Ashley finally understood what Kyla was trying to tell her.

A few weeks past and Ashley had followed Kylas' advice and she had given Spencer a key to her apartment and it seemed like everything was going well and Spencer was spending most of her time with the brunette they did a lot of things together and the blonde had slowly began to get back to her work at a movie company but she didn't feel like she belonged but she couldn't tell exactly why that was. There was actually only one place that she felt like she belonged at and that was at Ashleys' apartment, that was home at this point, but Spencer didn't want to call it home, it felt like it was up to Ashley to ask her if she wanted to movie in she didn't want to think that the brunette felt like she had to ask her it was something that she wanted to be sure of, that it was the right thing to do and for her it felt right.

Ashley was walking along the beach just thinking about how she should be approaching the whole thing of asking Spencer to move in with her. There was really just one way that she could so that and that was the hard part. She needed some courage to ask the blonde that, it was like telling her that she loved her and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her on some level, sure they had told each other that they loved one another but there had been no conversation on the topic of moving in.

On the other hand Spencer was already living with her but it was just the question of making it all official, Spencer still got her mail to her parents and had most of her stuff at her parents' home but the most important things was at Ashleys' place and there for Ashley felt like Spencer already was living with her and there for it shouldn't be that hard just to ask the blonde to move in.

Later that same night Ashley and Spencer was cuddle up on Ashleys' couch and once again Spencer was trying to give Ashley some education in movies that she should have seen before she died. There had been some more movies that Ashley had said no to and that she didn't want to see but after she had seen those she knew that Spencer knew her way around movies and that was a good thing. This night it were two movies, one that was supposed to be one of the worst movies ever made or is at least mention among those movies and then it was Citizen Kane, that is supposed to be one of the best movies ever made. Both movies are classic in their own way.

"Babe, I know that you think that I should be seeing these movies but I can honestly say that I don't like either of them."

"I know that you think so but at least you can say that you have seen them." Spencer said and tilted her head and Ashley gave her a peck. After that the older girl just grunted and she wasn't happy about this movie night she had wanted to see some newer movies not black and white. Ashley had wanted to see some comedy or some horror movie, she wanted to have Spencer curled up and hiding, she wanted some cuddle time more than they had at this point. Ashley couldn't get her head around the fact that Spencer was engrossed in these two movies. Neither of them was any good but she had made a promise that she would be watching them just because Spencer said that they should. This was going to be the night when she would make sure of that her and Spencer was having this important conversation about Spencer moving in, official. That was the only reason that she let Spencer chose these two movies, she would be happy and that would mean that this would be so much easier for Ashley to talk about.

The two movies were over and this was the time for Ashley to ask the blonde but she was missing some kind of plan on how she would approach this topic but it was the right thing to do.

"Spence, there is something that we should be talking about." Ashley said and looked the girl that she loved in the eyes, those blue eyes that she could be drowning in. those same eyes was looking back at her and that was when she knew that this was the right thing to do.

"Okay so what was it that you wanted to talk about?" Spencer asked and she tilted her head and just pouted a bit, that was it, Ashley could never love someone else and she could be living on air if she was promised that she would have Spencer by her side.

"Well, you know that you have a key." Ashley began to say.

"You want it back you think that I spend too much time here I knew it I shouldn't have been here this much, I have been putting pressure on you that you didn't need." Spence began to ramble and Ashley tried really hard to make the blonde stop but there was nothing that she could do at this point. Well there was one thing at that was what she was going to use.

"Spence, no that's not what I wanted to say," Ashley began to say and she could still hear the blonde ramble on and this was it. Ashley just closed the distance that was between them and kissed the blonde just to make her stop talking and that was when she could hear Spencer let out a moan and Ashley toke that opportunity and slipped her tongue in to the blondes' mouth and deepen the kiss. When they broke apart Ashley had managed to make Spencer forget about what she was thinking about before.

"Spencer, what I was trying to tell you was, that you have a key and I love that you are spending so much time here and I kind of wondered if you maybe wanted to spend even more time here." Ashley said and looked over at the girl that she knew was the one that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with but that was something that they would be discussing later on.

"So what is that you wanted me to do?" Spencer asked she had an idea on what Ashley was asking her but she wanted the brunette to ask her and that she was sure on that it was the right thing; she didn't want to assume anything.

"What I was trying to ask you Spencer, is that I was wondering if you would like to move in with me?" Ashley said as she looked the blonde in the eyes this was it. But she couldn't hear Spencer say anything that would mean one thing. Spencer didn't want to move in with her, the blonde wasn't ready for that yet. In the middle of her own ramblings she could feel how someone was placing a kiss on her lips, she couldn't really understand what was happening but after just a couple of seconds she realized that Spencer was kissing her. Maybe she didn't screw this up after all.

She began to draw the blonde even closer and she was holding the blonde in her arms, this was how it all was supposed to be. Her and Spencer together cuddling together on the couch and no one to disturb them, this was a part of her dream come true and for sure the first step of making it happen.

"So I take that as a yes." Ashley said and smirked to the girl that was laying in her arms.

"That is a yes for sure. I truthfully never thought that you would ask." Spencer said and she loved the feeling being in Ashleys' arms.

"What do you mean by that?" Ashley asked and gave the girl in her arms a kiss just before she could give her an answer.

"Well, I kind of wanted to move in earlier but I didn't want to say anything, I wanted you to be ready." Spencer said and she had a small blush beginning to rise from her neck and up to her cheeks.

"You remember the night that you got the key?" Ashley asked and Spencer nodded. "I wanted to ask you to move in that same night but I was afraid that it was too early and I didn't want to scare you away." Ashley confessed. "So when are you going to tell your parents?"

"I think that tomorrow will be a good day to do so." Spencer said and smiled. "But tonight I want us to sleep in our bed and not think about my parents that are something that we can deal with tomorrow or some other day." And with that the two of them left the couch and began to walk to the room that was going to be their bedroom for now.


	26. Chapter 26

This chapter is also a one that is shorter than the others but it was hard to write. I wrote during different days and I hope that you like it. I just wanted to let you all know that with this chapter there is 3 chapters left and am writing on both _A summer of soccer_ and my _DEBS_ stories, so if you haven't read any of those you are more than welcome to check them out too.

So I have started a new story, it a cross over so it' under that section, its SoN/OC, you can cheek that one out too if you want.

**Disclaimer:** song det är hon, Brolle Jr, the song is in Swedish. And south is still not mine.

**hugbuddy13:** I know, and all that can tell you is that it will be more of that maybe not in this chapter but I'm pretty sure that it will be in the next chapter. Hope you like this to.

**Coachkimm:** thanks and I'm not sure that I'll be mentioning the punishment, but if I write a sequel the punishment would be appearing in that one.

**Chapter 26: It's her**

_**When she took my hand I knew then (**__När hon tog min hand jag visste redan då)_

_**It's her I want to live with (**__De e hon jag vill leva med)_

_**It's her that I want to grow old with**__ (De e hon jag vill åldras med)_

_**It's her that I want to share all my days with**__ (De e hon jag vill dela alla dar)_

_**It's her that meads me**__ (De e hon som leder mig)_

_**It's her that takes me home**__ (De e hon som tar mig hem)_

_**It's her that I love**__ (De e hon de e hon som jag älskar)_

I was sitting in my car this day was one of the most important so far in my life but this was something that I had do. Every day since I first got back in her life this was the day I had been waiting for, for me to be ready for this but I didn't know how I was going to do all of this. No one knew that I was going to visit them and ask them this important question, of course I knew that this wasn't something that I had to do but I wanted to do it, even if they didn't say yes I would still go through with it. But I'm pretty sure that they will say yes.

We all have been getting closer every day since that awful day about 17 months ago. I think that they have been waiting for us to make this official but there is something that we can't do before I ask them if they would support us in this decision that would mean a lot not only to me but to her.

Slowly I got out my car and walked up to the door and knocked on the door and opening the door, was the blonde that I have been getting closer to ever since that day. If my girl look anything like her when she gets older then I would be one of the luckiest people on this planet but then again I will be even if she don't look like her mother when she gets older, because I will be with her.

"I didn't expect you to come here, and I can see that Spence isn't with you. I hope that there isn't anything wrong with either of you." The blonde woman said.

"No nothing is wrong." I said but I was kind of nervous and you could hear that on my voice, it wasn't as confidence as it used to be.

"So why are you here then?"

"I was just hoping that I could talk to you and your husband for awhile."

"Sure but he won't be home for about half an hour but why don't we get in and talk a bit and I would make some brownies and put some coffee on."

"That sounds good." And with that we both walk in to the house that my girl and her family moved to about 10 years ago, I look around, sure I have been here before but this time I take in all of it. As I said before this would be one of the most important days of my life and I know that there will be at least one more, hopefully one more day that would be this important.

"So what was it that you wanted to talk to us about?" Paula asked me and I wasn't sure that I wanted to tell her before Arthur was here.

"I would like to wait until Arthur is here. It something that I wanted to talk to the two of you about." I said ´; I was just hoping that this would go the way I wanted it to go.

That was when he walked in, so this was it. This was the time that I would have to face the parents of my girlfriend and she hadn't any idea that I was here.

"Oh, hi Ashley. I didn't know that you and Spencer were here." Arthur said as she saw that I was here.

"Oh, Arthur, Spence isn't here, it's just Ashley and she wanted to talk to us about." Paula said before I could say anything.

"Okay, so do you know what it is then?" he asked and looked over at his wife.

"No, I have no idea; she wanted to wait until you were home." Paula said.

"Okay, as much as I like to be the one to be talked about I kind of would like that you talked to me instead of talking like I'm not in this room." I said, take it easy, just breathe and relax everything is going to be okay.

"Sorry we didn't mean to do that." He said and looked over at me and I could tell that he really meant it.

"I understand, I think that I would have reacted the same way."I say to them.

"So what was it that you wanted to talk to us about?"

"Why don't we sit down in the livingroom or something like that?" I said and looked over at them. And they understood what I was asking them so the three of us walked in to the livingroom and sat down and this would be one hard thing to do. I'm not sure if I'm ready to do this but I have to, that is why I'm here without Spencer.

"Everything is okay with you and Spencer? She hasn't closed herself up again; I know it almost 18 months ago that all that happened."Arthur said and looked concerned.

"No, everything is great. Spencer is doing great she is so happy, and she is really liking everything that she does."

"That is good, and everything is okay with you?"

"Yes I'm fine actually I'm great."

"That is good to hear. I hope that it will stay that way." Paula said and smiled, we had really good relationship with each other this time around. It was almost like she wanted me to ask them what I was planning on doing, she had almost hinted that in every conversation that we had alone, when Spencer and Arthur wasn't around. I honestly think that she knows what I wanted to ask them.

"I hope so, I think that all that she is doing at the help center has helped her processing what she has been though and that also has made her understand that she isn't alone in this. That it can happen to everyone." I said and I can tell you that I'm so proud of my baby, she has done amazing for the last couple of months in the beginning after the trial it was kind of hard on the both of us but it all was better after I asked her to move in with me and then we began to look for a house and we found one.

"She had helped them a lot from what I've heard. So what have you been up too?" Arthur said.

"Not much, I mean I have been writing some new songs but nothing that big, the label has been asking me for the date on that concert that I should be doing."

"So when is it?"

"If I could tell you that, I have told them that as soon as I can give them a date or so that they could set a date I would let them know."

"So you have no idea about that?"

"Well, I hope that it will be soon and I think that it could be soon also."

"So have you been planning something about that?"

"I would say that this little conversation is kind of the first step in getting a date for that concert." I told them honest and I think that Paula really knew now what this was all about because she was smiling really big and looked at me like she was planning something. However I'm not sure that Arthur know just yet I hope that he don't know, I think that the mother of my girlfriend has a better knowledge on the steps that me and Spencer are ready to take then the two of have.

"So shouldn't we be talking about whatever it was that you wanted to ask us?" Paula said and I could tell that she was nervous and wanted to know. It was like she was dragging that out of me; I wanted to be sure that I did this the right way.

"I think so but would you both let me finish and take my time to say what I want to say." I asked them, I was praying that they would at least let me do that but then again they had been great so far and I don't think that would change anytime soon. The two of the nodded and that was all that I needed to know before I began to tell them what I wanted to say and after that I would be able to ask them what I was here for.

"Okay, first of all, I want you both to know how much Spencer means to me." I said and I took a deep breath this was probably the closest thing that I would ever come to how Spencer felt when she was on the stand in the trial, okay leave that and stay on track, Ash. "First of all, I know that I have already done this but once again I wanted to apologies for the way that things ended, I know that Spencer was hurt broken all that. I could feel that but I chose to ignore that that is something that I never will do again." And I had tears in my eyes when I thought about how I had treated Spencer back then, I think that I never understood how much I had hurt her and I honestly believe that I never will do that.

"I love her with all of y heart; I don't even have any words that could describe how much she means to me. She is amazing, beautiful, and smart and has a heart of gold. She always thinks the best of people; she looks for the goodness in them. I could never understand how she does that." I said and smiled when I thought about this amazing girl that was my girlfriend I was the luckiest person walking on this planet, probably in the universe. When I looked up at her parents I could see the tears that were forming in their eyes. Okay so I have made her parents cry, that can't be a good thing right.

"Ashley, we understand what you are saying, she has always been that way." Paula said and I could tell that she was thinking back on something that Spencer had done when she was younger.

"I'm happy that you understand that, but what I was trying to say and I already said it I think is that Spencer means the world to me and I would love to make her the happiest person in this world, because that is what she is doing to me every time she smiles. I just love her with all my being that is all that I can say." I said and the both of them smiled as I said this, I can say that I think that they have figured out what it is that is coming next.

"So I was wondering if I have your permission to ask Spencer to marry me." I asked them, I thought that I already knew what they were going to say but I wanted to have them say it to me. And letting me know that they thought that I could make their only daughter happy and that they thought that I was good enough for her.

"Ashley, I think that you already know the answer to that." Arthur said and smiled and he had tears in his eyes and well Paula couldn't say a word, tears were falling down her cheeks, if I didn't know any better it was like I had asked her to marry me.

"I think so too, but I wanted you two to say it to me and I wanted you two to be the first to know that I was thinking about this." I told them sincerely.

"Well after what you just told us and I honestly think that Spencer would kill us if we would have said no. So there for our answer is, yes, you can ask Spencer to marry you." Arthur said, he was the only one that could form a decent sentence at this time.

As he said those words I let go of a breath that I didn't know that I had held. This meant that I needed to make a new decision, how and when that was going to happen.


	27. Chapter 27

Once again a pretty short chapter, I kind of wanted to finish the story so there for it's a bit short but I hope that it's still good.

**Disclaimer:** songs in this chapter are I write you a song by Plain White T's and She's the one by Robbie Williams. South ain't mine and as far as I can see it won't be anytime soon.

**koop1717:** thanks so much and I'm glad that you love it. I hope that you will like this chapter too.

**hugbuddy13:** well that is something that we have to wait and see, I can't give anything away now, can't I.

**Coachkimm:** here is that chapter and I hope that you like it.

And the next chapter is the last of this story and that was all that I have to say, I do have a new story in the works and the first chapter is up, it a x-over. I would love to know what you think of that one too.

**Chapter 27: I write you a song**

_I'll write you a song_

_That's how you'll know my love is still strong_

_I'll write you a song_

_And you'll know from the song that I just can't go on without you_

So today is the day, this is the day that I'm going to do this.

I'm just so scared what if she doesn't like it.

What if she says no?

Everyone that I have been talking to, that means her parents says that she is going to say yes. But I can't be sure on that. I'm putting my heart on the line here.

I'm not someone that prays that much but this is one of the times that I for sure does that, I hope that she says yes.

I was walking down the hallways on our old high school, I was looking for the place where we first met, the lockers, and she had my locker. Well, the locker that had been mine, all the years before that. I can remember that like it was yesterday, she had dragged me down to the office just make sure that she was right and that it was her locker and it turned out that she was right and that was the day that I fell in love with her. She treated me just like any other person in this school. Just like I wanted to be treated and then it turned out that she fell in love with me and everything was great until the time when my carrier began to grow bigger, she told me that she trusted me and all that I needed to hear but the worst part was that I didn't trust myself but I never told her that. Then when I told her that I wanted to drop out and give this music carrier a big chance she told me that she would support me and then I did something that I shouldn't have done and when she found out she told me that I needed to decide on what I wanted from her and where I saw this relationship go.

That was the first and second well my top ten of mistakes that I did, that I chose my music over her and this was the time that I was going to make this right.

I finally found that locker where we had met and I looked at it and I took a deep breath and tried the combination and it turned out that it still was the same. I was thankful for that and this was one part of my plan, my first thought had been the beach but when I realized that it was at the locker that I had fell in love with her I had chosen that where I would be doing this.

I must say that I think that it was pretty amazing plan and romantic, this was hopefully the start of something great.

Later that same night Spencer had a blindfold on I didn't want her to see where I was taking her, this was one of my hardest moments that I would ever do.

I led her to the locker and slowly took of the blindfold and she looked around and it took her a few minutes to get her eyes ready for the light, I had place a few candles and I had my guitar ready, I didn't know what other way then to sing for her to let her know how I felt at this moment, I was going to use some words when I asked her and the speech that would lead up to the question but first to let her know how I felt I would sing her a song that I wrote the same day that I had asked her parents for permission.

"Spencer, do you know where we are?" I asked her, all she did was nodded and when I was sure that she was comfortable, I took my guitar and began to play and sing to her

_I was her she was me  
We were one we were free  
And if there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one  
If there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one _

As I was singing I could see that tears were forming in her eyes. I felt all the love that I had for that girl. All I did was hoping that she felt the same way about me. A girl can always hope.

_We were young we were wrong  
We were fine all along  
If there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one _

_  
When you get to where you wanna go  
And you know the things you wanna know  
You're smiling  
When you said what you wanna say  
And you know the way you wanna play, yeah  
You'll be so high you'll be flying _

I continued and I think that she somehow might have an idea where this was going. I was hoping that she was feeling the same as me and I could see her smile, and that was when I knew that I had done the right thing to do this here.

_Though the sea will be strong  
I know we'll carry on  
'Cos if there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one  
If there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one_

When you get to where you wanna go  
And you know the things you wanna know  
You're smiling  
When you said what you wanna say  
And you know the way you wanna say it  
You'll be so high you'll be flying  


Now I had tears falling down my cheeks, this was not how this was going to go. This was just a song that wanted her to hear before I began to tell her in words what she meant to me.

_I was her she was me  
We were one we were free  
If there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one  
If there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one_

If there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one  
Yeah she's the one  
If there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one  
She's the one  
If there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one  
She's the one  


I continued this song and I knew that it was ending and the smile on her face was just getting bigger and bigger and I knew that she would say yes, I just knew it and I felt so happy that I had made this decision and it was so right and on some level I knew that this was just the beginning of our fairytale.

_  
If there's somebody calling me on  
She's the one_

She's the one...

"Spencer I didn't know in what other way I could do this. I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me and there is just one more thing that I wanted to ask you." I said as I looked at the girl that was in front of me. She had stolen my heart and she is the one. That is something that no one can take away from me. And she was just smiling.

"I know." She whispered and when she did that I was sure that was doing the right thing here.

"Spencer, I'm sorry for everything that I did to you earlier in our relationship but from this point and on I'll do anything that you want me to do. You mean the world to me. You are my everything; you are the one that makes my heart beat. It's like you are the air that I'm breathing. I don't know what else I can say. All that I can think about is you; I love you with all of my heart. I want to give you the world if I could I would give you the moon. I will do anything in my power to get you anything that you want. You are my world." After I had said that I opened up the locker that once had been mine and hers also. I took out a blue velvet box. After I had done that I slowly went down on one knee, I opened up the box and there it was the ring that I had gotten from her father, he had wanted me to use an old family ring.

"Spencer Carlin will you do me the honor of letting me show you for the rest of your and my life how much I love you. So would you do me the honor of being my wife and marry me?" I asked and as I said that she also kneeled down in front of me and kissed me, I could feel her tongue tracing the contour of my lip asking for permission to enter and I was just so happy and I felt love and an granted her that. Our tongues were fight just for a few seconds before the two of us found a pace that we both were comfortable with and our tongues were dancing and I felt love like no other. And as we broke apart we had our foreheads heads together and breathing pretty heavy, I couldn't help but to smile to her, this was like a dream, my dream coming true.

"I think that I can take that as a yes." I said and smiled to the girl of my dreams.

"I think that you can do that." She said as she looked at me, I couldn't help but to smile when I saw her, she was as beautiful as she always had been and now she was going to be a part of my life forever.

"Spencer Carlin, I love you and I'm so glad that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Ashley Davies, I can't actually believe that this is happening. I can't wait until I tell my parents they are going to be so shocked and I know that they will be happy for us." She said and I didn't want to ruin this for her but I had to tell her that her parents knew that I was going to propose to her but at least they didn't know when and where that was something that I had kept from them. So that meant that she could tell them that at least.

"Spence, I need to tell you something."

"Okay, I hope that you meant all of this. I can't take it if you have changed your mind." She said and I could see the tears forming in her eyes and this time it wasn't tears of joy as there had been earlier.

"No, Spence it's nothing like that. What I wanted to say is that you should know that your parents kind of knew that I was going to ask you to marry me." I said and I hope that she understood.

"They knew?" she asked, it sounded like she didn't believe me.

"yes, they knew that I was going to ask you but they didn't know when I was going to ask or where I was doing it either but I want you to know that you mean the world to me and I hope that you aren't mad at me for asking them for permission to marry you." I said and now it was my turn to feel a bit afraid of what she might say, so far everything had been perfect.

"I understand and I'm actually happy that you asked them, it somehow shows how much you care about them and what they think."

"I just want to make this clear, that I would have asked you even if they had said no but I wanted to show them some respect." I said and I was proud of myself for what I had done.

"I am too, I am too." She said and as she said that I closed the distance that was between us with a kiss, I was kissing my fiancée I can't believe it, I'm going to get married to Spence Carlin, she is going to be Mrs. Spencer Carlin-Davies and I can't believe it. This is the best day in my life so far.


	28. Chapter 28

This chapter is the last one and I wanted it to be some kind of closer for this part of the story and I think that I might write some kind of a sequel if I get review that tell me that they want to read it and please tell me why you want to read it.

I have a chapter that I have all the songs that I have used mention if someone would like me to put that one up, so that there is a possibility to see all the songs.

**Disclaimer:** nothing has changed and that means that I don't own South of Nowhere and I still don't own any songs by Abba and this is the last song by them for now… if there is a sequel there will probably be songs by them in there too.

**Coachkimm:** Thanks and I have the first chapter of the crosser over up. And when this story has all it chapters up, I'll start to publish chapters of A summer of soccer and writing on that one and the cross-over.

**hugbuddy13:** thanks and this is the last chapter and i hope that you like this too.

**Chapter 28: Thank you for the music**

_I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore  
If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before  
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing  
'cause everyone listens when I start to sing  
I'm so grateful and proud  
All I want is to sing it out loud_

Ashley was standing alone on the stage watching out where the crowd would be standing in a few hours.

It was her day. This was going to be her last concert or at least for awhile.

She had Spencer by her side and she knew that that wouldn't change anytime soon. They had been engaged for three months.

That meant that all of this had been done in three months, well maybe not all. The record label had been planning all of this ever since Ashley had told them her plans.

And when Spencer had said yes three months ago she had called JJ and told her what had happened and that she was ready to have that last concert that she had promised, she told them that she would do it when she had Spence by her side, sure she had had the blonde by her side for a longer time but she wasn't going to something like this if she wasn't sure that she would have Spencer somewhere in the crowd or backstage.

"Hi, what are you thinking about?"Ashley could hear someone ask her. She knew that it could only be one person. And as she turned around she could see her fiancée standing there looking as beautiful as she always did.

"Nothing really." Ashley said but Spencer could tell that it wasn't the truth; she had always been able to tell when Ashley was lying.

"You know that you can tell me anything, and just so you know I'm proud of you." Spencer said and walked up to the brunette and placed her arms around the brunettes' neck as the brunette place her arms around the blondes' waist. As Ashley had done that she pulled her fiancée closer, and gave her a kiss.

"I know, I guess I'm just nervous." Ashley mumbled against the blondes lips.

"I understand but I know that you will do great." Spencer said and she kissed the girl in front of her. The brunette began to deepen the kiss, by running her tongue along the blondes' lower lip asking for entrance which she was granted by the blonde. The two girls continued to kiss and the broke apart when they needed to breath.

"I know that you are going to do great to night, babe." Spencer said and looked Ashley in her brown eyes and then gave her a quick kiss."I should be going so that you can begin to get ready for this. You do know this is your big night." Spencer continued.

"Yeah." Ashley said and after that Spencer turned around and began to walk away but she didn't get long before she felt someone tug on her arm and then she turned around and she could see that Ashley was standing there with one big grin on her face.

"Sweetie not that fast." Was all that Ashley said and then took Spencer in her arms and gave her a kiss that was deepened pretty quickly. They didn't hear that someone entered the room.

"Hmm, hmm." Was all that the two girls heard, it was someone that was clearing their throat. As they broke apart they could see that JJ and Ben was standing there and was just looking at the two of them. Spencer was embarrassed they way they had been caught and began to blush pretty bad and hid her face in the crook of Ashleys' neck and Ashley just smiled to the two other persons that were in the same room as the two of them.

"Ashley, you do know that you are going to be on stage this night and it's going to be a lot of people here." Ben said, like she needed to be reminded of that fact she couldn't go anywhere without anyone asking her about this and what was going to happen this night that was special.

"I know, and tonight am going to be amazing. I mean it always amazing when I'm on stage but tonight I'm going to be even better."

"How do you mean as far as I know your concerts are pretty hard to do any better from what I have heard." JJ said.

"For starters I have my fiancée her with me and she can make me feel so much better and that means that I'll be better on stage. Besides that, tonight the world is going to know that I will be done touring and that I have the most amazing fiancée." Ashley said and gave Spencer a quick kiss.

"Whatever, just so you know, you two are acting like two lovesick teenagers." Ben huffed, he had never seen his boss like this, well this determination was something he had seen once before and that was when she left the concert in London. That was when he realized that Spence was the one she had been talking about, he had never thought about that fact before. His boss was going to marry the woman that she had loved her whole life and that was pretty amazing. That was just something that he could dream off.

The concert had been going good and Ashley felt like this was the time that she was going to tell the world the reason for her being her tonight and why she had decided on that this was the last concert she was going to give.

"Okay, I know that you all wonder why I am ending my carrier as a performer tonight." Ashley said to the crowed that just was yelling and cheering when she was talking. "You all might remember a concert that I was giving in London over a year ago, when I said that I just had one more concert left, and this is the concert that I'm talking about. You see that night I realized something." Ashley said and took a deep breath before containing, "I realized that life is too short to be living with regrets and I can say to all of you that I don't have any regrets as for know."Ashley said and the yelling was just getting loader and loader.

"I have this amazing girl in my life, Spencer, you all know who she is now. I just wanted you all to know that I asked her to marry me awhile ago and she said yes. So I no longer have a girlfriend I have a fiancée and I couldn't be happier."

Spencer was standing backstage when she was hearing Ashley telling the world about how happy she was and that she had whished that she had done this so much earlier and that she had lost so much time but that was something that she was going to make up now.

"Spencer would you come out here?" Ashley said as she turned around and looked at her fiancée silently asking her to come out on the stage so that they all could see them. Spence walked out to the stage and she was nervous this was one of the things that she didn't like at all but she was doing this for Ashley, she knew how much this meant for the brunette.

"I love you Spencer Carlin." The brunette said and gave the blonde a kiss.

"I love you too Ash." Spencer said and looked at her fiancée it still felt a bit strange to say that.

"okay so I just wanted you all to here one more song from me and I wanted to say that this meant a lot to me, so please remember that I'll always love all of you but this is the last time I'll be standing on this stage and I'm happy with that. So with here is the last song that I'll sing tonight. And that is ABBAs´ Thank you for the music." Ashley said before she began to play and sing, this was it and she couldn't be happier.

_So I say  
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing  
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing  
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty  
What would life be?  
Without a song or a dance what are we?  
So I say thank you for the music  
For giving it to me_

**THE END!**


End file.
